Ode to Dell

Technology, you are not my friend today
Built-in obsolescence made in a land faraway
It is their grand plan
The twenty-first century scam

You need a new hard drive, you say
It will last a warranty and a day
Replacement number two, now three
Request a restore disc for a nominal fee

Dell, for all your lightening-speed computing
It’s your customer service that needs rebooting
On the phone 58 minutes, 4 employees, dropped calls 3
All for a restore disc? You got to be kidding me

Your mind-numbing musak infiltrates my nightmare
To do it online with my computer impaired
Dell, oh Dell
You’ve made my life hell

photo credit: Dell’s Official Flickr Page via photopin cc

27 thoughts on “Ode to Dell

  1. A few years ago I set out on the quest for a new laptop. I settled on a red Dell (because it was on sale and, like I said, it was red). Two weeks into our new relationship a disk I put in the drive would not come out. I took it back to the store–only a few minutes away–for a little geek help. The guy took it from me and came back in a few minutes saying to go pick out a new computer–Dell doesn’t consider this a “fixable” problem. After I got over the shock (and over the two weeks of stuff I had transferred), I found a Sony VAIO, store display, marked down to an unbelievable price, and we are best friends to this day. (It says hello.) Have no idea about their customer service because I have never had to call them!!! Note to Sony: send money, coupons, or new tablet.


    1. I’m glad to hear you’ve had better luck than me. I’ll hope for the best with this new hard drive. It’s not a bad idea to start talking nice to it. We’ll be best friends. I guess I should name her, or is it a him? My cars have always been female, hmm….


  2. This would be hilarious if it wasn’t based on a true story, B.F!
    Do you remember those old TV commercials with the kid who always said, “DUDE! You’re getting a kick in the pants!” Or… something along those lines? I feel like I can say that (with love), because I have a Dell, too. Mine is about 7 years old now (the DVD drive stopped working almost immediately, the CD drive door sticks in a way that makes me think it will never open again… and I had to have the thing ‘fixed’ once, but I’m sincerely hoping everything else hangs together for a few more years… fingers crossed…)!


    1. I know, huh? This sucks, doesn’t it? Wow, you’ve almost as many problems as me. Like you, I’m crossing m fingers because I kind of can’t afford a new one right now. I hope yours lasts as well. Fingers crossed! 🙂


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