It’s time for another installment of Friday Fictioneers, courtesy of Madison Woods. Thank you kindly to Jan Morrill for providing today’s photo for the prompt.
As always, please feel to participate. I have 100 words in the form of story. I welcome any criticism. Thank you.
Image courtesy of Jan Morrill
Caught (100/100)
The white walls caught the light, overpowering my judgment. I surrendered and receded into the alley. My bare feet cracked with the sand and grit of the pebbles, the heat almost intolerable. Barely distinguishable from the others, I knew this alley wasn’t the right one. Its walls were too high and the blue door wasn’t there before. I felt light headed.
A few steps into the shade and I saw him, standing on the balcony watching me. Waiting for me. He knew I’d be here.
I crooked my head to see a man walking behind me. My opportunity had suddenly vanished.
Oops. Now what? There’s more to this story than meets the 100 word limit. Nice job.
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Hi, Rochelle! Yes, indeed. It’s merely the beginning I would say….or maybe somewhere in the middle. Thank you!
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I agree with Rochelle. Very well told and full of intrigue. Mine is here: http://readinpleasure.wordpress.com/2012/10/12/fridayfictioneers-i-want-out/
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Thank you! I’ll give yours a read. Thanks for the link.
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Definitely cornered now. Very effective.
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Thank you, Sandra. Thanks for reading mine.
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Oh oh… I want more :). Very well done Amy…really like this
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Thanks, Boomie! It wasn’t what I had intended when I started. She was just going to get lost…Thanks for reading.
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Great piece! Are you tired from answering all of those FP comments yet? 🙂
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Thanks, Carrie! Being that it’s such a short-lived experience, I’m enjoying every minute. It’s been fun!
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That’s wonderful! You did a great job of capturing so much in that few number of words.
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Thanks, David. This is also a good exercise for me.
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I’m impressed that you have exactly 100 words! And I am intrigued about where the story is going . . .
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Thanks, Angel. I try my best to stick to the limit because it does influence my choices and decisions. My character was just going to get lost in the alley that led to another and another…I think that would have taken up more 100 words 🙂 I’ve always loved these little alleys in the beach communities.
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Understated and effective.
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Thank you!
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Nice.
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Thanks, Soul Walker.
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Hi Amy,
Enigmatic story that leaves a lot to the reader’s imagination. I sat and thought for a while after I read it, considering the possibilities. A real sense of menace also. Good job! Ron
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Hey, Ron. Thanks for reading mine. I did leave it rather open, didn’t I? I could take it a couple of directions here. I’m not sure what I would do exactly. Thanks for your comments.
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Why is she barefoot and which is the right alley? I want to know! Good mystery.
Mine is here http://anneorchardwriter.wordpress.com/2012/10/12/friday-fictioneeers-empty/
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Thank you, Anne. Those are very good questions you pose! I’ll be sure to read yours. Thanks for your comments.
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Hi Amy,
Very well written, more please -:)
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Thanks so much, Daniela!
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There’s lots of stuff to pull me into this one — basically I just want to know what’s going on! The descriptions really worked well for the scene
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I’m going to be really honest with you…I’m not sure! But I do know that I have possibilities! Thank you!
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I’m adding my own twist to your story. The man on the roof is a sniper/protector and shoots the man following her. Yea…
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Hi Lora. That would totally work. I’ll admit I’m not sure what the relationships are here. That would definitely help define it! Thank you for the read.
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There could be so many possibilies from here.. I somehow feel he is trapped! Very interesting!
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Thanks, Parul…which “he”? The one on the bicycle or the one on the balcony? Thanks for reading mine.
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This is amazeng (pardon the pun) and I love the lightness of the language. “My bare feet cracked with the sand and grit of the pebbles .. ” very good.
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Thanks and thank you for reading! I try to state things simply if possible.
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I’ve enjoyed reading several of your postings. Really good writing! I’ve come here from Le Clown, so I believe I will be following you now. 🙂
http://jlroeder.wordpress.com
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Thanks, Changeforbetter! Since you came from Le Clown, I followed you as well. Le Clown attracts quality people. It’s good to meet you.
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Well thank you very much! Yes, Le Clown does seem to know where the good ones are! Glad to meet you also, and please, just call me Jackie!
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Nice to meet you, Jackie! Thanks.
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the best part is this can be anything. can be a romance, a spy thriller, a horror story, anything. well done.
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Thanks, Rich. I’m not sure where I would go with it either, but I like having options.
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good one, it sets the stage and draws us in
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Thank you, Bill.
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SI vede la mano dell’artista…ottimo racconto/i…
PIacere di conoscere questo spazio d’Anima 🙂
Un cordiale saluto e…a presto
Claudio
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Thank you, Claudio. I’m sorry I don’t speak Italian? Can you translate for me?
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He says, “You can see the artist’s hand. Great story. Nice to know this place. Greets. See you soon.”
Courtesy of translate.google.com 🙂
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Oh, very good. Thanks for your assistance. I’ll have to remember Google.
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You couldn’t have gone for more than 100 words? I could want more.
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Oh, thank you! Perhaps, I’ll write some more.
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If you didn’t write the script for ‘Skyfall’ I’m going to be crestfallen, B.F.
🙂
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Ha! Oh, I wish SIG. If only…You’re much too kind 🙂 I can’t wait to see it!
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