Dear readers, I am seeking answers. I need your help.
I want to know why when I take medicine with a measurement cup all the lines on the cup are faint and fuzzy. I mean the lines are practically invisible. If you’re the one who is sick and having to pour your own medicine, this is especially irritating. If they don’t want people to have the improper dose, at the very least, they could make some thicker, darker lines for us. Am I right? Why won’t they make lines and numbers we can see? Deeper indentations on the cup don’t count.
I want to know why the grocery store where I shop thinks it’s perfectly befitting to separate the cookies and the crackers. Isn’t it common sense that they be placed in the same aisle? Cookies and crackers belong together. There’s a cosmic shift when I enter the store. Something is just wrong there. Why must they insist on keeping the cookies and crackers apart?
I want to know why Donald always looks so pissed off. Quit your lip smacking, finger-pointing, and obnoxious tweeting. We know you’re rich and in charge. Now use your mess of money for something good. Why not help rebuild a third-world country, or why not rebuild one of our own poverty-stricken neighborhoods right here in America? You don’t need to look very far. It might make you happy.
I want to know why these skeletons were responsible for deforming their own heads. In other words, while living, these people went through some kind of cranial rite of passage where their heads were purposefully distorted. Psst…or there could be a more rational explanation. Maybe they really are aliens.
In fact, this is the year we may find our sister planet Earth. Why isn’t this headline news? Enough of the fiscal cliff. We’re all doomed. But a sister planet Earth…maybe the aliens can save us. In a Universe so vast with an estimated 200 billion stars that host at least 50 billion planets (and this, just in the Milky Way), how can we think we’re all alone?
And finally, I want to know why this product is using my blog name and didn’t even consult me. It’s a Reese’s peanut butter cup moment: How did my blog name get into your product? And, how did your product get into my blog? All right, I guess I put it here.
It must be good with a name like Bumble, right? Actually, I need shampoo. Truth be told, lately I’ve been using my kids’ strawberry bath wash as shampoo. Oh, how could I let things get to this state? This year is off to a rocky start….
but soon, I’ll be washing my hair with my new Bumble shampoo…
Two Hours Later
Strike that. So, this Bumble shampoo has got to be the most expensive shampoo on the planet. My body wash will last one more day….
In the meantime, I will be expecting some answers. I’m counting on you.
For your listening pleasure, please enjoy the music by The Neighbourhood.