It’s still Friday here, so I’m squeezing in my offering for Friday Fictioneers, hosted by Rochelle Wisoff-Fields. Rochelle also provided the prompt for this week, which happens to be the picture that inspired the cover for her novel.
If you like my story just a little bit, please check out these amazing stories from the Fictioneers. Every week, they raise the bar. These stories are getting so good.
Genre: Mystery; 100 words
Copyright – Rochelle Wisoff-Fields
The Reveal
The phone was a relic except for the day it rang. It rattled her, and brought her out of her belabored reading of onion-skinned manuscripts of recorded names and indistinct facts. With silence on the other end, she carefully returned the phone to its carriage, wondering if she dreamt it.
Sometimes she answered the phone…always static. Sometimes she threw it in a drawer.
Yellow and red scribbles marred the manuscript she held, as if marked by a child, save for an address outlined clearly in red. The phone rang, clutching it in her shaking hands, an answer, “I am here.”
Really good Amy! Spooky with the phone. I really enjoyed it. Now I want to know who’s on the other end.
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Thanks, Jackie! I’m not really sure who’s on the other end…exactly. Someone who needs her help. I’m glad you enjoyed it.
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Oh – very intriguing and haunting. Well done! 😀
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Thank you, Dianne.
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This almost sounds like a ghost story to me! You’ve made me very curious about who the “I” on the old phone is, and where they are…and what that has to do with the scribbles and the outlined address. Very good beginning for a mystery!
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Thank you so much. It was a way to link some of the items in the photo, at the very least. Thanks for reading.
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Another well-written creepy story! Seems as though we’re divided between WWII and creepy phone stories this week. 🙂
janet
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Thanks, Janet. Yes, something about the phone about being so, well, old…I wanted to do something with it. I haven’t gotten to reading many yet. I look forward to it! 🙂
Amy
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Yes, this was a mix of sinister and just plain old spooky. Nicely balanced.
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Your comment is lovely…even if it’s about being spooky and sinister. Thanks, Sandra.
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A great spooky story, very intriguing. I loved the onion-skinned manuscripts. 🙂
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Thank you, E!
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We’ve just crossed over into the Twilight Zone!
In the UK we have an annual Reader’s Digest 100-Word Story competition – first prize £1000 – £10 per word! Perhaps you should consider entering some competitions – Flash Fiction ones now abound.
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Thank you, Sam! Do you think I have a shot? I’ll look into it. Do you have a link about iit? What do I have to lose?
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Not a shot Amy – but because of your nationality not your writing! The one I alluded to is UK only. But there are many flash fiction competitions online and most with global entry.
Writing competitions are a bit of a lottery with usually many entries and the subjectivity of writing and the judges but you can use that as the excuse if you don’t win and if you do, well then you are a prize-winning writer!
I have just entered my first ever short-story competition which is why this subject is on my mind!
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Oh, Sam, how exciting for you. I hope you win! You’ll never know unless you try, huh? I imagine like you said a lot of factors go into winning, maybe even just good luck. Perhaps I will try, too. Thanks for the encouragement. Which ones have you entered or think are good ones, if you don’t mind me asking.
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Spooky 🙂
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Thank you.
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You are there but who are you??!!
Come on, 50 words more and tell who was calling.
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I know…50 more words would do it, Leo! Thanks.
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Leo,
We all know it was you. Can’t fool me with your foreshadowing…
Le Clown
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Le Clown,
You have all the answers. How swift of you.
Amy
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Amy,
I also [quite] enjoyed your piece.
Eric
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Eric,
Thank you.
Amy
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Creepy!
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Thank you, Tom.
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Spooky
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Thanks, Linda.
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Dear Amy,
So far that old phone on my desk hasn’t rung but all these creepy phone stories have me shivering. Nice job.
Shalom,
Rochelle
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Dear Rochelle,
I don’t make want to make you shiver, but I will take that as a compliment! Thank you very much.
Shalom,
Amy
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It was meant as a compliment, Amy.
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I love the way you’ve written the first paragraph, great opening, intriguing hook.
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Thank you for your nice comments!
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Your first paragraph was outstanding and caught my attention. I am confused by the ending and wanting more.
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Thanks, Ted! My idea is that the address circled in the manuscript is of the person speaking on the phone. He now speaks as she as come across this manuscript. Beyond that, I cannot say.
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The one I entered was ‘Coming Up…’ which I have made private on my blog as was planning to enter it in another competition which did not allow prior publication including blogs. But then I found a competition that does.
But I would enter all my fiction in competitions. And the same piece in multiple competitions.
It is more a matter of thinking which writing is suitable for particular competitions – genre, style requirements…
I plan to submit to journals too. Less of a lottery, though the pay for many of them is a pittance. Such is writing!
Poets & Writers is a good site/journal for resources and information about writing competitions and journals that accept submissions.
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Sam, thank you so much for all the info! I wish you the best. Let me know what happens. Good luck with it. I guess you can’t win if you don’t try. I will look into that site you mentioned.
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Thanks for your comment about my story! Our stories are similar. The phone rings impossibly too, in my story. I have been challenged about my ‘ending’ too. I agree like yours, mine seems more of an episode and the end is also a beginning. A beginning of what? Who knows ‘where’ is this realm of ‘white noise’? An ending can also be a question, can’t it? Ann
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That was genuinely spooky, Amy. Great job! I love a good spine-tingling tale. Does she ever find out who it is? Maybe the next 100 words for that. Of course, it only needs 7 more words to totally ruin the mood. “Who is this?” “Oh, sorry. Wrong number.”
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Ha ha ha. Good one, David. That very well could have been the ending to this story. You are such a clever thinker! Thanks.
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Hi Amy,
Those telemarketers just never give up, do they? Ha! Intriguing and mysterious story. Ron
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Thanks, Ron. They are quite persistent. That’s true.
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Hey Amy! A good example if why caller ID should be a mandatory offering by the phone company. I would not snwer without knowing who is calling after reading this.
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Watch out, Joe! I guess that’s one good thing about not having these types of phones anymore. Thanks!
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Another tease! That one was really Twilight Zone-ish, Bumble. I liked it a lot.
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Thanks, Weebs! It always makes me happy when you like my stories.
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Very well done. 🙂
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Thanks!
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those pesky old phones…always waiting to jump up and ring to scare the white hair into us!! thanks for putting a few white hairs in…*sigh*
i loved your story!! ❤
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Thank you, Sunshine. Anything to give you a scare. I’m happy you enjoyed it!
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Well done, Amy. I guess in another generation or so, spirits will have to use electronic means to contact us.
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Thanks, Russell. I’m sure they would figure out a way!
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Nicely done, B.F!
Is there voice-mail on that thing… because I think I’d be hiding under my furniture!
🙂
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Dun dun dun…that would be a good one! Thanks, SIG!!
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I really enjoyed this! Spooky…I’d probably throw the damn thing in the garbage!!
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well done! several have gone in this direction, and i was going to but ended up elsewhere, but i’m glad you went with the spooky thing.
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Thanks, Rich. I couldn’t help it with the old phone. That was my inspiration.
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A good theme for a deeper story there, definitely..
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Thanks, Managua. I appreciate it!
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I can never look at an old phone the same way. Wonder if our grandchildren will think iPhones are spooky?
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Anything is possible. I wouldn’t be surprised one bit. Who knows what will be around twenty years from now.
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