Beauty – Friday Fictioneers – 03/01/13

Itโ€™s time for Friday Fictioneers. Thank you to Rochelle Wisoff-Fields for hosting, and to Beth Carter for her award-winning photo, which took first prize at the Ozarks Writers League. Congratulations, Beth!

The challenge is to make your 100 words count. If you’re so inclined, why not give it a whirl?

Click here for more stories from the Fictioneers.

Genre: Humor

Copyright – Beth Carter

Beauty (100)

To Henri, the important thing is the inside of something, and the inside of the car don’t count. It’s the blood and the guts, the juices coagulating, pumping, and holding it together, extending life, that’s what mattered.

“She’s my beauty,” Henri said, thumping the hood. All the other dames were gone.

I paid the mess nor the spring that dug in my back no mind as we limped along Highway 1. A film of dirt coated my skin.

With the smell of exhaust, the car sputtered and popped.

Henri veered off the road. “Just a little water and she’ll be fine.”

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74 thoughts on “Beauty – Friday Fictioneers – 03/01/13

    1. Maybe with a big twirly mustache like Dali…tooling down the highway with his pride and joy…I kind of thought the character would speak in a French accent in the story though, since his name is Henri. ๐Ÿ™‚

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  1. All the other dames were gone. I like this. The other dames’ juices had stopped pumping, evidently. It looks like ‘Ol’ Faithful’ is on its ‘last legs’ though! I want to know: did you deliberately ‘neither’ between

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  2. Oops! The above posted itself before I’d finished. (Damed old banger, I am)! I will finish. I wanted to know whether you deliberately left out the word ‘neither’ between ‘paid’ and ‘the’ because that is how your character would have spoken? Thanks. Ann

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    1. Thanks, Ann. This is probably a little rough. I think at one point I had the word “neither” in there. Thanks for your feedback. As far your answer, I was aiming for a more stylistic approach with this writing, so yes.

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    1. Ha ha. LouAnn. Apparently, the photographer, a Friday Fictioneer herself, said if she can locate the owner of the car, because she knows a couple of places he frequents, she will present all our stories to him. Wouldn’t that be cool?!

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  3. Amy, this pic is fantastic and I’ve got a good picture of Henri in my mind simply from the description and want to know more. One thing, the spelling of Henri, isn’t that the French spelling? But still, it’s very intriguing! Thanks for sharing the talent of these writers/photogs!

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    1. Thank you, Brigitte. This photo won an award and I’m sure it has inspired some great stories. Henri would be the French spelling. That said, I didn’t really think about that too much when I wrote it! I guess my character is French. The photographer thought about sharing all the Fictioneer stories with the owner of the car, if she can track him down. I wonder what he would think?! I think that would be cool!

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    1. Oh, thanks Beth! I hope he/she would like it. I can’t assume the owner is a he…but somehow I envision he’s a man. I hope you do find him. I wonder what he would think about all this. Personally, I would thrilled if it were my car!

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  4. i like his optimism. just a little water is all.

    suggestion – this line “A film of dirt caked my skin.” a film usually means a thin layer, but caked usually means a thick amount, like a cake. think about changing “caked” to “coated.” or just remove “A film of” and start with “Dirt caked…” just a thought.

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  5. Henri’s ride reminds me a bit of Adam Sandler’s P.O.S. car…
    only, you know… all classy-like!
    I can almost smell the exhaust, Amy (I think it’s using a little oil…)!
    ๐Ÿ™‚

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