I found myself wandering around in the woods the day my father-in-law died. For 24 years I knew him, and it passed in a blink of an eye. What’s it all for? Life, death, it’s seamless. One day he is here with us, the next he’s gone.
Fred was “The Silver Fox,” quick on his feet, spry, charming, a gentleman with a huge heart, although that was his little secret.
Once early on when I was sick, delirious with fever, and I wanted to have a glass of water by my bedside. Fred kept removing my glass. When I awoke, the glass of water would be nowhere in sight. “I need water. I’m parched,” I told my husband. He would bring it to me, and then zap, Fred would whisk it away. I didn’t know the extent of his OCD then. Later, I laughed.
In my twenties, Fred told me, as he did everyone else, “You’re not all there.” The very first time I heard this, I wanted to cry.
Later I got it. He would say, “You’re not all there,” and point his finger to his head. I then laughed in agreement. You’re right, I’m not all there, Fred. Who is? The sooner you realize this in your life, the easier you’ll breathe.
For those who think “They’re all there,” they’re the most confused of us all. As time passes you by, you realize you know less, not more.
He always brightened someone’s day with small gifts. Me, my husband, his kids, his grandchildren, gas attendants, wait staff at restaurants he frequented, staff at his son’s work….he gave us baked goods, sweet treats, trinkets, statues of dogs and cats, jewelry boxes painted with religious figures, glass sculptures, books, paperweights with butterflies, latch hook rugs with seagulls, condom holders….things that were, uh, puzzling. Okay, things we would never buy for ourselves.
In one of our last conversations, he still wanted to give my sons a present.
He was a giver in abundance. He wasn’t trying to impress anyone. He just wanted you to smile, shrug off your worries if only for a few moments, and “lighten up” as he would say. It’s just who he was.
I think about my own life and who I touch, who is on the receiving end. How can I give the way he did? I find myself clutching onto fear and worry. Why? In the end, all we have in this life is each other.
I will miss you, Fred.
In loving memory
Thomas Fredrick Reese
December 27, 1934 – March 23, 2013
Amy,
My deepest sympathies to you and yours.
With love,
Eric
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Please accept my condolences, Amy. The Silver Fox sounds like a great guy. I wonder what he thought when he realized you hadn’t already bought condom holders. Sounds like he accepted you wholeheartedly into the family and it doesn’t get any better than that.
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Thanks, He Who. Fred was a character, that’s for sure. He will be missed dearly. Thanks for your kind thoughts.
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Thanks, Eric. I appreciate it.
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so sorry for your loss Amy. My prayers are with you and your family.
Audra
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Thank you, Audra.
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My heartfelt condolences Amy. Love, light, good thoughts and prayers to you and yours.
Brigitte xo
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Thanks, Brigitte. Thanks for your sweet thoughts. xo
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So sorry for your loss, Amy. Sounds like all of us could learn a lot from his legacy. Giving is always better than receiving, especially if you find yourself the proud owner of a condom holder. May God Bless you and keep you and your family through the difficult days and months to come.
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True, Tammy. Who doesn’t need a condom holder, right? I appreciate your thoughts. Thank you.
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“As time passes you by, you realize you know less, not more.”—Isn’t that the truth?
What a nice tribute to your father-in-law. I enjoyed reading it.
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I find it’s true. Time passes by quicker and quicker, too! Ah, thank you so much, Carrie.
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Look at us daughter-in-laws, blubbering over his quips and blogging about him! Love that guy… and so did everyone he met. Nice tribute! Love you, Amy. It was good to see you, even if briefly. You comin’ back this weekend for the fam get-together? I hope so. I’ll have a little more time this weekend, I think. Let’s talk shop and be members of The Clean Plate Club in his honor.
Emily
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It was good for me to write this. I’ve been kind of bottled up in Reno. Thanks, Em. Yes, we’ll all be back this weekend for the get together. I’m sure we’ll stay through Easter Sunday. I love you, too. See you soon. – Amy
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I’m so sorry for your loss as well and I agree, this is a beautiful tribute.
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Thank you, Rachelle. That’s sweet of you to say.
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What a beautiful memorium, Bumble.
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Thank you, Stephen. I appreciate that.
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A beautiful tribute, Amy. I’m sure Fred enjoyed it too. My deepest sympathy for your loss. Sending love and soothing energy your way.
Cathy
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Thanks, Cathy. I feel your soothing energy. Thanks so much. – Amy
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Amy,
I’m very sorry for your loss, this was a beautiful tribute. I love the pictures.
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Thank you, Bill. I was in these woods in Reno. I’ve been visiting there for years, but never knew about these. It’s just a little patch I just stumbled upon. So happy you enjoyed them.
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My sincere condolences, Amy. I’m sure The Silver Fox (what a fabulous name) will be remembered by your family and his friends for many, many years to come…
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Thanks, Dianne. Yes, I will miss Fred. So will many others. I’m sure we’ll be telling stories about him for years to come. The Silver Fox has a nice ring to it, doesn’t it?
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It’s a beautiful name 😉
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Yes, it is! Thanks for that!
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My thoughts and prayers are with you. What a beautiful entry today. I love the pictures.
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Thank you, Millie. I appreciate it. Glad you liked the pictures. They seemed to capture my mood at the time.
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Your blog is always wonderful.
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Millie, that’s wonderful to hear! Thank you so much.
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I’m so sorry, Amy. This is a beautiful tribute to him.
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Thank you so much. It felt good writing about him.
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This is a lovely tribute to a very wise man. It’s sweet that you all will have these funny, odd gifts around and each time you stumble upon one you will have a fond memory of Fred and smile. What more can anyone ask than to be remembered fondly. My condolences to you and your family for your loss.
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You’re so right about this. I can never part with these things now. It’s funny because we always joked about them. He knew they were silly, too. It was all about the gesture. Thanks, Michelle. I appreciate it.
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What a nice tribute! I’m very sorry for your loss.
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Thanks, Adrienne. I appreciate it.
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The world can never have enough givers, thus a fitting tribute. Strength to you for your loss, but may he continue to give to you through his memories because those memories have healing powers.
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Thank you for that, Frank. It’s good to always remember. I think his legacy will be how he was such a giver and he made people smile. In a nutshell, isn’t that what life is all about? Thanks.
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If not, that’s a huge chunk of it!
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I agree, Frank. Well said.
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Sorry to hear about this, my thought with you.
Beautiful tribute and you are right, all we have in this life is each other.
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Thanks, Leo. It’s something we can forget from time to time. It’s good to remember it here. It’s all about the people in our life and how we treat each other.
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I’m so sorry for your loss. Fred sounds like he was one of a kind.
I love the pictures in this post and their placement. They add so much to it. And I love this line: “For those who think “They’re all there,” they’re the most confused of us all. As time passes you by, you realize you know less, not more.” So true.
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Indeed, Ashley, Fred was one of a kind and touched many lives. He will be missed dearly. I’m glad you liked the pictures. They seem to capture my mood at the time and I just stumbled across that place. It’s like I was meant to be there. Thanks.
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Amy,
What a loving and lovely way to remember someone so special. To truly give enriches everyone; you sharing this story continues that feeling.
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Thank you, Tania. What a lovely sentiment! Thank you for sharing that with me. I know it makes me rethink things a bit in how I can enrich someone’s life.
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Amy,
Great tribute. I just love this post so much. The message is true and filled with love. To give is everything. My love and hugs to you and your family.
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Amber, thank you! I’m touched by your sweet, thoughtful comments. Hugs to you, too.
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He sounds like quite the character! I’m sorry for your family’s loss.
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Smak, Fred had a quite an edge to him and is like no one else I know! I will miss him very much. He had a big heart, too. Thank you.
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I am so very sorry to hear about your loss, Amy…
Fred sounds like he was a fascinating guy…
your family is in my thoughts…
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Thanks, Robert. Fred was a fascinating guy, to be sure! I will miss him. I appreciate your thoughts. Thank you.
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Beautiful dedication ~ you honor him with much love.
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Thanks, Denise!
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My father-in-law is nearing the end of his journey as well and it fills my heart with dread to envision a world without him.
My deepest sympathy to you and yours.
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Thank you, Hook. All the best to you and your family. It ain’t easy, but it helps to hold on to the memories.
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Really, really sorry for your loss. The other day it hit me that my grandparents wouldn’t always be with me, and it stung so deeply as if they were already gone. That loss hurts, and I think you did a wonderful job of paying your respects in this post.
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Thank you, Jen, for your sweet thoughts. Death is never easy. It will be a different kind of Easter this year.
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This is a beautiful post. Thank you for writing it.
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Thank you, JM. Thanks for reading.
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What a sweet, touching remembrance. He sounds like a thoughtful person who made a big impact with many people, and I’m very sorry about your loss.
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Thank you. Fred touched many lives and he will be missed. I loved him very much. Thanks. I appreciate it.
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