It’s high time for an official “Don’t Sweat the Small Stuff” Appreciation Day. I bet you’re stunned that such a day doesn’t already exist. There’s a calendar for it. Tell me why not one little day?
After all, we have Towel Day, Lumpy Rug Day, and my new personal favorite, World Turtle Day. With days like Houseplant Appreciation Day (which also shares its day with Peculiar People Day, Cut Your Energy Costs Day, and Save the Eagles Day), you’re probably thinking do we really need another one of these types of days, Amy, that no one is even aware of until after it’s over?
I’d say there’s room. Think of this holiday as a day for you, like a birthday but without all the pressures and expectations, because let’s face it, not all of us want to turn another year older. Besides, every now and then, we need to cut ourselves a little slack or else we could burst under this constant pressure to perform, be informed, to initiate, and be on top of our game.
My vision is as follows and is quite simple, and mine may be different from yours. Your marker should always be this:
If it were the Zombie Apocalypse, would this really matter?
Check the Zombie Meter.
Socks and Clothing: Who Cares
First of all, take a look at this sock pile. With No Socks Day and Lost Sock Memorial Day, I’m taking this a step further by suggesting that if you want to wear socks just choose a mismatch. Any two socks will do. Don’t sweat it. I’m positive you can find a mismatch here.
Those lost socks are never coming back. They are not behind your dresser or your dryer. The trolls took them along with the caps of your pens (Right, Stephen?). Toss them all if that’s what you want to do, Lost Sock Memorial Day or not. Look the important thing here is that you call the shots!
If your clothes are dirty, you could a wear a sheet.
If you’re so inclined, just go sans clothing and paint yourself green.
Zombie Meter: Comfort is key.
Windows of Time
Don’t sweat it if you’re a few minutes late. No, you are not a failure because on this day, we think of everything in terms of windows of time. I’d say so long as you’re at your destination within a half hour window, you’re good.
Zombie Meter: It doesn’t matter so long as you’re alive.
Don’t have enough change for the meter, don’t sweat it. All parking is free on Don’t Sweat the Small Stuff Day, including parking garages. If you can’t find a parking space, just park illegally. Why should we have to pay for rectangular space of asphalt in the first place?
Zombie Meter: You can park wherever you want.
No Tickets on Small Infractions, Including Parking
Of course, this goes without saying.
Zombie Meter: Doesn’t register, doesn’t exist.
Wild Outbursts of Song and Dance
We’re not sweating any small stuff, so it’s highly permissible to break out in wild laughter, singing, and dancing. Or, perhaps a yoga pose, meditation, or nap is more your style. There will no glaring or judgment cast.
Zombie Meter: Just don’t forget the zombies still exist.
Don’t Sweat the Small Stuff Free Pass
To ensure that Don’s Sweat the Small Stuff is adequately celebrated, everyone is permitted a free pass at least once a month besides the normal appreciation day. Consider days in which you are experiencing the following:
Tangled Mind Syndrome (TMS): A perfect day to let it go.
No caffeine or an inadequate amount: There’s no telling what will go wrong. It’s best to bow out.
Significant changes in hormone levels: We must pace ourselves on these days.
Full moon: All bets are off.
I know I just barely scratched the surface here. Tell me what would be on your list. What small stuff are you not going to sweat about on this very special day?