Hedges – Friday Fictioneers – 06/14/13

It’s time for Friday Fictioneers. Why not give it a try? Your participation is always welcome. Visit here for instructions.

Thank you Rochelle Wisoff-Fields for your generous time in leading this group, and to John Nixon for the challenging photo.

Please follow the blue frog for more stories from the talented Fictioneers.

Genre: Humor (100 words)

Copyright –John Nixon

“Like a spider, you gotta have eyes in back of your head,” said Jim, scribbling on his drawing pad.

“I don’t think a spider’s eyes are in the back,” I said.

He gulped coffee in spurts and blurted words in between. His unfiltered thoughts flew past me like seeds blown into the air.

“Twenty dollars is the new five bucks.”

“Stillness is a good quality,” I offered.

“Nah, overrated. Time to trim the hedges,” he stood.

Our analysis ended as to why Jim lost his job as a security guard, never mind that he had been robbed while on duty.

64 thoughts on “Hedges – Friday Fictioneers – 06/14/13

  1. Wow. That’s a terrific story, Bumble. I looked at this picture – and still look at this picture and can’t think of anything interesting to write, but you did it in spades.


    1. Why thank you, Stephen. I’ll admit I just had to take the one idea I had and run with it! My idea was basically that some people never quite get it, or try so hard but get nowhere. That’s where I started. Good luck with yours. I look forward to reading it. Just go for it.


  2. Poor Jim….

    That was a difficult prompt in some ways….I don’t know why but every time I looked at that guy in the piano I thought of the Joker from the old Batman TV series, the one with with Adam West as Batman.

    Great story. I’m liking Jim a lot.


    1. Thanks, J.D. I feel like lately all the prompts have been hard. Still I give it a go. I can see how this would remind you of the joker. I just took a look at the picture again. I can see it totally. That would have been a good direction!

      Thanks! I think Jim would always have a few surprises.


    1. Oh, Michelle…I do believe it was your story about spiders that inspired this piece. You had such an impact on me. I still feel terrible about it. It looked so awful!! Never mind Poor Jim…Poor Michelle. Jim will make due.


  3. You took what appears to be a comic pic and wrote a tragedy (in my view). What genius! Comedy is always tragedy, masked. Maybe you just unearthed the tragedy in the photo. Well done, whatever. Perceptive. Ann


    1. Wow, what a nice compliment coming from you, Ann. Whatever….I’m not entirely sure myself. I guess that’s the beauty of this exercise. You can surprise yourself and come up with something unexpected. Thanks, Ann.


      1. Yes, this is a great exercise in self-discovery. I try to download the photo prompt on the Wednesday and I’m nearly always surprised by what gets stirred up to be turned into a story. 🙂


  4. This is my favorite line: ” His unfiltered thoughts flew past me like seeds blown into the air.” And I’m so old, I remember when $20 did seem like a lot of money. Not anymore!



  5. ‘His unfiltered thoughts flew past me like seeds blown into the air.’ That is such a beautiful image and a great line to sum up Jim’s scattiness. I couldn’t work out whether this was a professional counselling session (with ‘Our analysis’ being the tell) or two friends talking. Either way, I think maybe Jim should have stayed a while longer.


    1. Thank you, Sarah. I like that you tied that thought to Jim’s character. Actually, Jim was “Uncle Ted” so I thought of it as a talk between family members. Now I see why I wanted to keep that in there…but word limits you know!


    1. Thank you, Ly. I worked with a choreographer once who used to say “You must have eyes in the back of your head!” He really pounded that into us. I think this theatrical photo brought it out!


      1. The best thing about this sort of weekly challenge is that it lets you try new things. If it works, awesome: if not, there’s always next week. I think this worked well though.:)


  6. Dear Amy,

    All of my comments have been taken from ‘unfiltered thoughts” to characterization. Honestly, I don’t see the connection with the prompt. And what’s more, I don’t care. What’s important is what you saw and wrote. A well-written story is a joy to read.




    1. Dear Rochelle,
      Thank you! Thanks for your kind words. I’ll admit I took a bit a detour with this one. I’m feeling a little unsteady lately, but doing my best to keep the faith and keep writing! Sometimes, that’s all you can do. As always, thanks for your careful reading.


  7. Hahaha… robbed while on duty as a security guard?! That’s totally the sort of thing that would happen to me, B.F! Very funny, Amy! Nicely done!
    What an interesting prompt photo, too – kind of reminded me of ‘Punch Drunk Love’… have you ever seen it, B.F? Adam Sandler’s character (and it’s a much different role than most of his others) finds this piano / organ thing in the street… it’s kind of a bizarre movie, but I kind of like it.


    1. Thanks, Robert, SIG. No, I have never seen that movie. You recommend it? I’ll check it out now that I have the Netflix! I will be looking for the scene with the piano/organ….Bizarre is good, yes? 🙂


      1. I hope so… I’m not sure Annabelle liked it… so maybe I shouldn’t be recommending it… but there’s something about the weirdness of the whole thing I do enjoy (even if I do feel a bit like I’ve been heavily medicated after watching it)!


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