Hedges – Friday Fictioneers – 06/14/13

It’s time for Friday Fictioneers. Why not give it a try? Your participation is always welcome. Visit here for instructions.

Thank you Rochelle Wisoff-Fields for your generous time in leading this group, and to John Nixon for the challenging photo.

Please follow the blue frog for more stories from the talented Fictioneers.

Genre: Humor (100 words)

Copyright –John Nixon

“Like a spider, you gotta have eyes in back of your head,” said Jim, scribbling on his drawing pad.

“I don’t think a spider’s eyes are in the back,” I said.

He gulped coffee in spurts and blurted words in between. His unfiltered thoughts flew past me like seeds blown into the air.

“Twenty dollars is the new five bucks.”

“Stillness is a good quality,” I offered.

“Nah, overrated. Time to trim the hedges,” he stood.

Our analysis ended as to why Jim lost his job as a security guard, never mind that he had been robbed while on duty.

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64 thoughts on “Hedges – Friday Fictioneers – 06/14/13

  1. Wow. That’s a terrific story, Bumble. I looked at this picture – and still look at this picture and can’t think of anything interesting to write, but you did it in spades.

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    1. Why thank you, Stephen. I’ll admit I just had to take the one idea I had and run with it! My idea was basically that some people never quite get it, or try so hard but get nowhere. That’s where I started. Good luck with yours. I look forward to reading it. Just go for it.

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  2. Poor Jim….

    That was a difficult prompt in some ways….I don’t know why but every time I looked at that guy in the piano I thought of the Joker from the old Batman TV series, the one with with Adam West as Batman.

    Great story. I’m liking Jim a lot.

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    1. Thanks, J.D. I feel like lately all the prompts have been hard. Still I give it a go. I can see how this would remind you of the joker. I just took a look at the picture again. I can see it totally. That would have been a good direction!

      Thanks! I think Jim would always have a few surprises.

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    1. Oh, Michelle…I do believe it was your story about spiders that inspired this piece. You had such an impact on me. I still feel terrible about it. It looked so awful!! Never mind Poor Jim…Poor Michelle. Jim will make due.

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  3. You took what appears to be a comic pic and wrote a tragedy (in my view). What genius! Comedy is always tragedy, masked. Maybe you just unearthed the tragedy in the photo. Well done, whatever. Perceptive. Ann

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    1. Wow, what a nice compliment coming from you, Ann. Whatever….I’m not entirely sure myself. I guess that’s the beauty of this exercise. You can surprise yourself and come up with something unexpected. Thanks, Ann.

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      1. Yes, this is a great exercise in self-discovery. I try to download the photo prompt on the Wednesday and I’m nearly always surprised by what gets stirred up to be turned into a story. 🙂

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  4. ‘His unfiltered thoughts flew past me like seeds blown into the air.’ That is such a beautiful image and a great line to sum up Jim’s scattiness. I couldn’t work out whether this was a professional counselling session (with ‘Our analysis’ being the tell) or two friends talking. Either way, I think maybe Jim should have stayed a while longer.

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    1. Thank you, Sarah. I like that you tied that thought to Jim’s character. Actually, Jim was “Uncle Ted” so I thought of it as a talk between family members. Now I see why I wanted to keep that in there…but word limits you know!

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    1. Thank you, Ly. I worked with a choreographer once who used to say “You must have eyes in the back of your head!” He really pounded that into us. I think this theatrical photo brought it out!

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      1. The best thing about this sort of weekly challenge is that it lets you try new things. If it works, awesome: if not, there’s always next week. I think this worked well though.:)

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  5. Dear Amy,

    All of my comments have been taken from ‘unfiltered thoughts” to characterization. Honestly, I don’t see the connection with the prompt. And what’s more, I don’t care. What’s important is what you saw and wrote. A well-written story is a joy to read.

    Shalom,

    Rochelle

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    1. Dear Rochelle,
      Thank you! Thanks for your kind words. I’ll admit I took a bit a detour with this one. I’m feeling a little unsteady lately, but doing my best to keep the faith and keep writing! Sometimes, that’s all you can do. As always, thanks for your careful reading.
      Shalom,
      Amy

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  6. Hahaha… robbed while on duty as a security guard?! That’s totally the sort of thing that would happen to me, B.F! Very funny, Amy! Nicely done!
    What an interesting prompt photo, too – kind of reminded me of ‘Punch Drunk Love’… have you ever seen it, B.F? Adam Sandler’s character (and it’s a much different role than most of his others) finds this piano / organ thing in the street… it’s kind of a bizarre movie, but I kind of like it.
    🙂

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    1. Thanks, Robert, SIG. No, I have never seen that movie. You recommend it? I’ll check it out now that I have the Netflix! I will be looking for the scene with the piano/organ….Bizarre is good, yes? 🙂

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      1. I hope so… I’m not sure Annabelle liked it… so maybe I shouldn’t be recommending it… but there’s something about the weirdness of the whole thing I do enjoy (even if I do feel a bit like I’ve been heavily medicated after watching it)!
        🙂

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