Chess Piece – Friday Fictioneers – 06/21/13

Happy summer! It’s time for Friday Fictioneers. I always say, better late than never.

Thank you Rochelle Wisoff-Fields for your generous time in leading this group, and to Managua Gunn for the intriguing photo.

Please follow the blue frog for more stories from the talented Fictioneers.

copyright -Managua Gunn

Chess Piece (100 words)

The heat dried the sweat inside his helmet, and granules of sand flitted into his eyes. His heels dug into the grate, sending a piercing pain into his spine. His eyes focused on one object, arms cramping, with the dedication of corps de ballet dancer.

It knew it was only moments now and his shift would expire. He would hear sighing, the tipping of the chess piece, and then his Majesty’s whispered, “Check mate.” Today, there was only silence.

A bloodied man fell at his feet and cascaded down the hill. At last, he maneuvered into a slightly new position.

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59 thoughts on “Chess Piece – Friday Fictioneers – 06/21/13

    1. Thanks, Carrie! Oh, good to see you! I’ve miss you. Things are pretty well, slowing down on reading and posting, too. I wish I was writing more. What about you? How’s your writing going with your book? I hope you’re enjoying your summer.

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      1. Thanks. I am. And my writing is going wonderfully. I’ve written over 70,000 words since I’ve taken the last month off from blogging. Only 11 chapters left of my first draft (49 chapters total). I’m really buckling down, because I’ll be gone a lot in the next month, and my goal was to have it done by early July. I might just make it (my extensive outline really helped). But I miss the blogosphere. 😦

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      2. Wow, Carrie! Good work. You have been busy, and that’s quite an endeavor with 49 chapters. I wonder if I should take a little break, too, and buckle down. I know I’d miss the blogosphere (sigh). Good for you. It sounds like it’s made all the difference for you. The blogosphere misses you, too (and you know I do!). But everyone understands and supports you. Keep going!

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  1. I’m getting the feeling that he’s a bit like a chess piece himself, standing on that square, waiting to make his move haha. Nice descriptions, nice pace and nice end!

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    1. A ha…now I want to change my title. That’s brilliant, Brian! See, I really didn’t see it when I was writing it. It’s just how I feel when these statuesque guards. Thanks for that bit of wisdom.

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  2. Wow, I love this, Amy. It’s a great literal interpretation of how soldiers like that are pretty much pawns anyway. So is he in a human chess game or is he an actual chess piece?

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  3. I love that description in the first para. You’ve summed up how uncomfortable it must be to stand so still, for so long. I’m left wondering about the bloodied man – presumably he beat his Majesty, and his Majesty was not pleased?

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    1. Thanks, Sarah. I used to dance in the corps de ballet, so I was familiar with being still for long periods of time. Let me tell you, besides being an uncomfortable, it’s a really hard thing to do. Yes, he beat his Majesty, you got it. Presumably, another guard took care of this guy.

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  4. It was a wonderful idea to make this pickelhauber a game piece. Reminiscent of the Queen of Hearts in Alice in Wonderland.
    Question…I really thought the pickelhauber was a woman. Are there female pickelhauber?

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    1. Thanks. Michelle, I think you are correct in that the pickelhauber is a woman. I’ll admit I’m not familiar with pickelhauber. My writing was pretty impulsive. If I had taken into account that this guard was a woman, I may have written something else entirely. Thanks for reading!

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  5. This was great, Amy. Brilliant. I agree with Brian, he’s like a chess piece. Very cool. And isn’t it strange that sometimes we write things and don’t even realize our own brilliance in the metaphors we create. LOL!

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    1. Thanks, Lisa. Oh, good to see you back here in the blogs. It’s nice to stumble upon something you didn’t intend to happen. That’s always a big bonus about writing something you’re not so attached to. Thanks for reading!

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  6. You are so creative, Amy… I never would have thought to put those elements together… and so well-written, too! Nice ‘moves’! Hahaha… not that I would know (my chess skills are pretty much non-existent)! I’m pretty sure I’ve been beaten in under a minute on more than one occasion.
    🙂

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  7. I read this after your title change (what was the original title?) so I did read it from the point of view of some poor chess piece standing there waiting patiently to be moved! Poor chess man!

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    1. Weebs, my original title was “Guard Duty.” I thought “Chess Piece” would be more interesting, but perhaps it’s too suggestive. I think this idea of him begin a chess piece has more promise. His Majesty is quite sick in the head, perhaps.

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  8. Dear Amy,

    This was one of my favorites. (I play a lot of chess.) You said earlier that you danced for some time in the corps de ballet. Do you also play chess? The masterful way you pulled off this story makes me think yes.

    Aloha,

    Doug

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    1. Oh Doug, thank you. It’s comments like yours that encourage me to keep writing. Thanks for that! I don’t play chess, but I did dance in the corps de ballet. My arms never cramped so bad! It is very difficult to be still and look pleasant.
      Aloha,
      Amy

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