Just One – Friday Fictioneers – 09/27/13

It’s time for Friday Fictioneers. Thank you to Rochelle Wisoff-Fields for being such a gracious host. Thanks to Rich Voza for the intriguing picture. It’s a goody and a challenge.

I decided to go the sci-fi route, it’s so tempting. I can’t wait to see what people came up with this week. Click here for more wonderful stories from the Fictioneers.

Genre: Sci-Fi (100 words)

Copyright – Rich Voza

Just One

The sky spit out their bodies in a sea of debris and they landed in a crushed heap. Thrashed and bleeding, Isack laid motionless. Merrell collapsed into his side.

“Not again,” she gasped.

“Last time it was the blue door.” Isack lifted his head. “The order…it’s different. It was blue, white. Now it’s…”

“We’ve tried them all,” Merrell cried. “We’re stuck.”

“That’s it. The color never mattered,” he jumped to his feet.

When the sky snapped, he dove through the window in the door. Isack and the doors vanished before her eyes. There had been room for only one more.

Advertisements

55 thoughts on “Just One – Friday Fictioneers – 09/27/13

  1. Poor Merrell. If only she’d realized sooner that color never mattered. Hmmm, subtle lesson in that science fiction. I like the way you describe the action. That sky is vicious; spitting and snapping.

    Like

    1. Hmm…seem too contrived? My idea was that Isack didn’t even realize about the “one more” issue, only that the specific door didn’t matter, because the order and the color was changing every time they got dropped from the sky. It probably doesn’t make that much sense. Or, it could be, he did figure it out and left without her. That works for me. Thanks for your feedback, Honie.

      Like

      1. Not at all, Amy. I like it. The meaning, yours or the readers, reaches out and snaps you. Just like that sky. Large and quick. Very nicely done. My take away will almost always be in some way connected to something I’ve written or thought, and I really enjoy it when I find something in another person’s writing that helps me make that connection.

        Like

      2. Thanks, Honie. Your words and that you connected to it mean a lot to me. Thanks for taking the time to tell me.

        Sometimes as you write something it makes sense, and then you look at it later and wonder what you were thinking when you wrote it. I had a brief moment like that with this, but decided it makes just enough sense!

        Like

    1. Oh, I loved that I grabbed you from the first sentence, David! It’s so good to hear that. I pictured them being kind of pounded and thrown from the sky. Visually, it would be quite something to see, I think. I hope my writing does it justice in the few words I have. Thanks a lot! 🙂

      Like

Take it away.

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s