The Phantom – Friday Fictioneers – 10/11/13

It’s time for Friday Fictioneers. Thank you Rochelle for hosting.

My contribution follows.

Copyright – Sandra Crook

Le Phantom 

“Stage left, Nellie. Left,” the director slammed his clipboard.

Nellie knocked into a dancer, whose face soured on impact.

“I was trying to avoid the cat who wandered on stage? Didn’t you see?”

“I don’t care if your grandmother walks on stage, you keep going.”

She heard laughing and observed a man in loose, dark clothing sitting at the top of the theater. He hummed to himself while the cat climbed the stairs to sit on his lap.

While Nellie performed, his shadowy presence emerged in the audience or waltzed by her side on stage, and a calmness washed over her.

Advertisements

59 thoughts on “The Phantom – Friday Fictioneers – 10/11/13

  1. Hi Amy,
    Those old theaters are filled with ghosts. A lot time ago I worked at an old movie theater and it was definitely haunted. And I often run into dancers when I’m getting down out of the floor, but that’s just because I’m clumsy. Different and eerie take on the photo! Ron

    Like

    1. Hi Ron,
      I run into things all the time and I am a dancer. I have, in fact, fallen on stage. But, it’s all in the delivery. Theaters have a kind of a magical feeling to them and I wouldn’t be surprised if they had a few ghosts. Thank you! – Amy

      Like

  2. Was he a devil or a lover? More, please!

    You make me want to do this Friday thing and I signed up a couple of weeks ago to get the prompt. I actually thought of a story for this week, but never wrote it. But, it’s not midnight yet.

    Like

  3. Dear Amy,

    ‘He hummed to himself, while the cat climbed the stairs to sit on his lap.’ I’m thinking you could 86 the comma and have a smoother ride with this sentence.

    ‘When performing, he beamed at her from the audience or waltzed at her side on stage, and a calmness washed over her.’ This sentence makes it sound like he’s the one performing and the mental gymnastics required to sort out who’s whom detracts from what started as an intriguing mystery. I’ve spent the last forty minutes torturing Sergey Brin and Larry Page, but they’re not talking. Who is the dancing, cat loving, thespian muse?

    Aloha,

    Doug

    Like

    1. Doug,
      Thanks for your feedback. I appreciate you taking the time. I’m always happy to 86 a comma. Done. That last sentence I had actually written a completely different way the first go around. Maybe it was better the first time. If you’re doing mental gymnastics, eek, I haven’t done my job! I’ll try to sort it out. As for our Phantom, my guess is as good as yours.
      Thanks,
      Amy

      Like

  4. It’s funny how we can all get different things out of so few words. For me the “phantom” man would be her father, so there would be no “sexy” in it. That last line just makes me feel that he is how I would picture her father. Beaming, proud, protective, a safe haven.

    Like

    1. Michelle, I did see him as protective as well, with nothing really sinister going on although, it certainly could that direction. As for the sexy, I’m not sure how that is coming into this, but I’m not complaining. I think it’s interesting how people have their own interpretations. Thanks for your input!

      Like

  5. I did like the idea of something watching over her in her performance that night, but, like Doug, I did wonder if it was the cat dancing with her or the man. The story did get a little confusing, although it was lovely all the same.

    Like

  6. I wonder what his ultimate intentions are? He already seems to have formed a bond with Nellie (I’m sure if I felt a shadowy presence I would feel anything but calm!). I hope he’s just her muse and intends her no harm…

    Like

  7. Sounds like the real Phantom of the Opera. I like the ending; he really is looking out for her, like a guardian spirit. Is this supposed to be someone she used to know or just a spirit that appreciated her not stepping on his cat?

    Like

  8. Great story – little bit scary 🙂 My first thought was, the man in black could be death – but no cat would sit in HIS lap, I guess. Definitely a story that sounds like more than a hundred words,
    Liebe Grüße
    Carmen

    Like

    1. Carmen,
      Sorry for the delay if I didn’t respond to your comment! It got a little lost. I appreciate your generous comments. I see him more as a protector, and not death. Although, if I wanted to go in a creepy direction, he could be manipulative and sinister, too. Thanks for reading. – Amy

      Like

  9. It must be a good sign he didn’t throw any phantom fruit! Er… wait… do phantoms even throw fruit any more?! That kinda makes me sound like I’ve been haunting the wrong century, doesn’t it?! Seriously, though… very cool, Amy! What a great idea!
    🙂

    Like

Take it away.

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s