It’s time for Friday Fictioneers. I hope it’s not too late for a spooky story.
A big thanks to Rochelle Wisoff-Fields and to Douglas MacIlroy for the photo. I’ve always loved koi ponds.
Genre: Mystery (100 words)
Copyright – Douglas M. MacIlroy
Fishing for Compliments
“Beautiful, aren’t they?” Nick said stiffly.
Teresa submerged her hand in the water. The koi approached in her direction.
“I better feed them now,” Nick said.
His hands trembled as he tossed food into the pond. All but Uncle Albert, a deep orange with leopard spots, darted for food. He circled Teresa’s hand gliding in the water and nipped her.
“Ouch,” Teresa blurted.
“I don’t think he’s ever done that,” Nick mumbled. “I’m sorry. You must leave now.”
“Whatever,” she rolled her eyes.
Driving in her car, Teresa swerved into a telephone pole, her eyes rolling up into her head.
Amy,
I love this!
Red
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Red,
Thank you. I love that you love it!
Amy
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Fish on!
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These fish rock! Ha ha
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The fish are biting today!
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Yes, they are. Careful now, Stephen!
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Koitis makes your eyes roll 😉 hehe !! xox
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Ha ha! I don’t think she got that far, Ralph. 🙂 xox
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Ooooh! Uncle Albert’s got a wicked bite!
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Thanks, Cathy. He’s no friend of Teresa’s.
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Something’s fishy alright…
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Audra, all I can say is, beware of the koi. They are not as peaceful as you think.
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Hi Amy,
Clearly, Uncle Albert had every right to be irritated. Everyone knows it’s hands across the water, not in the water. I’m so sorry if she caused him any pain. Ron
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I know Sir Paul would smile at this. 😉
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Ron,
Clearly, this was Teresa’s first mistake! And then to roll her eyes at Nick. She was done for!
Amy
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Oh oh. Keep away from Uncle Albert! Hmmm he’s a bit grouchy. Great story Amy! I love a good mystery.
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Thanks, Jackie! Definitely a grouch. Be careful around fish.
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Poison koi or could it be something even MORE sinister …? Ther’s something so … I don’t know … “Charles Addams” about this. I like it! Thanks, Amy.
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Right, I can see this at the Addams Family house. Totally. Couldn’t you see them with teeth, nipping at everybody, jumping out of the water? In my story, the koi have evil living spirits residing in them, or at least in one of them, Uncle Albert. Thank you!
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What! How could you do that to Teresa!?! I felt so at ease and was enjoying this, and then: BAM! Sorry it took long to get over here, crazy two days! Always enjoy your stories. 🙂
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Poor Teresa. I think the last eye roll was her doom! Thanks! Oh, not a problem, Dawn. You are not late. I was so busy with the Halloween holiday, I couldn’t get to my blog. I’m behind in my reading too! I’ll be over at your story today. 🙂
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I generally get through the first 50… then I taper off. But yes, the whole Halloween thing definitely makes it hard! No worries. 🙂
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Nick is a fool.
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Apparently, Nick is being controlled by Uncle Albert. Poor sap. Maybe Uncle Albert will get it in the end. Thanks for reading, Jim.
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Loved it!
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Ah, thanks Jim!
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Great story Amy! Very sinister, and nicely paced. I felt that Uncle Albert had chosen her for his nephew, but apparently quite the opposite. 😦
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Thank you so much, Sandra! I think Teresa got close. It was the last eye roll that did it. Thanks for your nice comments.
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Nice story~ I think we had a similar idea with this one. Mysterious ending though. Is the fish poisonous?
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Thanks, David. My idea is that Uncle Albert’s spirit lives within the koi. It is a sudden ending.
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Dear Amy,
Insert quotation marks after Nick stops speaking in that one sentence. Sinister and well paced. Lots of evil koi in this world, I’m finding out.
Aloha,
Doug
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Dear Doug,
Thank you, sir. I fixed it. I must be tired if I didn’t see that. Thanks for your thoughtful comments.
Amy
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Dear Amy,
Wicked koi those and Uncle Albert, knowing this, is evil. Obviously, he didn’t want her to die in his presence. Sinister.
Shalom,
Rochelle
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Dear Rochelle,
Thank you. I was going for sinister. I appreciate that. Yes, he is tricky. No one would think to trace it back to a koi.
Amy
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nice sinister tale. i definitely won’t be trying the fish foot spa thing ^^
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Me either, kz. Thank you!
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I totally get this. That eye rolling thing is infuriating!
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Thanks, Dawn! I agree completely.
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In the words of the immortal Artie Johnson on Laugh-In, “Very interesting” … but I had this kept interfering … http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1aMZh3m_ez0
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Ha ha! Frank, I did not think about this song. This is great. Thanks for this. Uncle Albert is not sorry! He wants revenge. I love the guitar in this song.
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I’m still trying to figure out why Uncle Albert did it. Gee, your fish are evil, mine are just self-promoting! (Is Nick the Normal Bates of Koi World?)
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Perry, the koi embodies an evil spirit that is Uncle Albert. I know usually koi represent light and hope, except in my story! He’s looking out for his nephew and no one, apparently, is good enough for him.
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Not very a nice fish or Nick. Get the frying pan out.
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And have the lemon juice and tartar sauce ready!
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Oh! Teresa must not have done that. Well crafted. 🙂
-HA
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HA,
Teresa never had a chance. Uncle Albert doesn’t approve of anybody!
Amy
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Darn beautiful Uncle Ailbert is not a very nice guy. Neither for that matter is Nick.
I have to say, I sympathize with Theresa.
In seriousness, nice story.
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I don’t know why Nick just doesn’t destroy Uncle Albert. Hmm…In seriousness, thank you, MythRider. I appreciate your comments.
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I say keep the fish and keep fingers out!
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If only it were that simple…
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;0)
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I wonder if Nick is a willing or unwilling pawn of Uncle Albert’s?
Gives “meet the relatives” a whole new meaning!
Great spooky tale.
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Uncle Albert definitely has some power over him, although he is only a fish. Perhaps, he feels some allegiance to him. Thank you!
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Oh I can just see Uncle Albert smiling from gill to gill right about now. I think the lesson here is never trust a fish named Uncle Albert — especially if he has teeth! 😀
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Right, Linda! Who can ever trust an Uncle Albert for that matter?
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Ha ha! Good point!! 😀
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Not exactly Uncle Arthur from Bewitched is he? I wonder if he has a hideous laugh? Good thing she didn’t stick her toe in the water. That would have really offended him.
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Uncle Albert isn’t a nice fish, is he?
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Caught me out with your ending, very nicely done Amy
Dee
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Oooh, write more of this story!
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I’ve been bitten by catfish, pike and blues, but I’ve never, ever been so taken by a carp. This is a wicked tale that leaves me wondering: “What is it so deadly in the mouth of a koi?”
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I’m sorry to hear about all the bites you’ve taken. Uncle Albert is not one to be easily pleased it would seem. He’s out of control. Usually, carp are so peaceful.
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I will never put my hand in a koi pond again! We’re so sorry Uncle Albert, Hand across the water,
Heads across the sky.
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Oh, wow what a poetic response, Michelle! I’m keeping my hands dry around all koi ponds from now on. I’ve spooked myself out.
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I’m questioning the relationship between Nick and “Uncle” Albert. Poor girl.
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I would say there is definitely tension in their relationship, Patti. She had no idea what looking into a pond would bring her. Poor thing.
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