It’s time for Friday Fictioneers. I hope it’s not too late for a spooky story.
A big thanks to Rochelle Wisoff-Fields and to Douglas MacIlroy for the photo. I’ve always loved koi ponds.
Genre: Mystery (100 words)
Copyright – Douglas M. MacIlroy
Fishing for Compliments
“Beautiful, aren’t they?” Nick said stiffly.
Teresa submerged her hand in the water. The koi approached in her direction.
“I better feed them now,” Nick said.
His hands trembled as he tossed food into the pond. All but Uncle Albert, a deep orange with leopard spots, darted for food. He circled Teresa’s hand gliding in the water and nipped her.
“Ouch,” Teresa blurted.
“I don’t think he’s ever done that,” Nick mumbled. “I’m sorry. You must leave now.”
“Whatever,” she rolled her eyes.
Driving in her car, Teresa swerved into a telephone pole, her eyes rolling up into her head.
AmyReeseWrites 
Amy,
I love this!
Red
LikeLike
Red,
Thank you. I love that you love it!
Amy
LikeLike
Fish on!
LikeLike
These fish rock! Ha ha
LikeLike
The fish are biting today!
LikeLike
Yes, they are. Careful now, Stephen!
LikeLike
Koitis makes your eyes roll 😉 hehe !! xox
LikeLike
Ha ha! I don’t think she got that far, Ralph. 🙂 xox
LikeLike
Ooooh! Uncle Albert’s got a wicked bite!
LikeLike
Thanks, Cathy. He’s no friend of Teresa’s.
LikeLike
Something’s fishy alright…
LikeLike
Audra, all I can say is, beware of the koi. They are not as peaceful as you think.
LikeLike
Hi Amy,
Clearly, Uncle Albert had every right to be irritated. Everyone knows it’s hands across the water, not in the water. I’m so sorry if she caused him any pain. Ron
LikeLike
I know Sir Paul would smile at this. 😉
LikeLike
Ron,
Clearly, this was Teresa’s first mistake! And then to roll her eyes at Nick. She was done for!
Amy
LikeLike
Oh oh. Keep away from Uncle Albert! Hmmm he’s a bit grouchy. Great story Amy! I love a good mystery.
LikeLike
Thanks, Jackie! Definitely a grouch. Be careful around fish.
LikeLike
Poison koi or could it be something even MORE sinister …? Ther’s something so … I don’t know … “Charles Addams” about this. I like it! Thanks, Amy.
LikeLike
Right, I can see this at the Addams Family house. Totally. Couldn’t you see them with teeth, nipping at everybody, jumping out of the water? In my story, the koi have evil living spirits residing in them, or at least in one of them, Uncle Albert. Thank you!
LikeLike
What! How could you do that to Teresa!?! I felt so at ease and was enjoying this, and then: BAM! Sorry it took long to get over here, crazy two days! Always enjoy your stories. 🙂
LikeLike
Poor Teresa. I think the last eye roll was her doom! Thanks! Oh, not a problem, Dawn. You are not late. I was so busy with the Halloween holiday, I couldn’t get to my blog. I’m behind in my reading too! I’ll be over at your story today. 🙂
LikeLike
I generally get through the first 50… then I taper off. But yes, the whole Halloween thing definitely makes it hard! No worries. 🙂
LikeLike
Nick is a fool.
LikeLike
Apparently, Nick is being controlled by Uncle Albert. Poor sap. Maybe Uncle Albert will get it in the end. Thanks for reading, Jim.
LikeLike
Loved it!
LikeLike
Ah, thanks Jim!
LikeLike
Great story Amy! Very sinister, and nicely paced. I felt that Uncle Albert had chosen her for his nephew, but apparently quite the opposite. 😦
LikeLike
Thank you so much, Sandra! I think Teresa got close. It was the last eye roll that did it. Thanks for your nice comments.
LikeLike
Nice story~ I think we had a similar idea with this one. Mysterious ending though. Is the fish poisonous?
LikeLike
Thanks, David. My idea is that Uncle Albert’s spirit lives within the koi. It is a sudden ending.
LikeLike
Dear Amy,
Insert quotation marks after Nick stops speaking in that one sentence. Sinister and well paced. Lots of evil koi in this world, I’m finding out.
Aloha,
Doug
LikeLike
Dear Doug,
Thank you, sir. I fixed it. I must be tired if I didn’t see that. Thanks for your thoughtful comments.
Amy
LikeLike
Dear Amy,
Wicked koi those and Uncle Albert, knowing this, is evil. Obviously, he didn’t want her to die in his presence. Sinister.
Shalom,
Rochelle
LikeLike
Dear Rochelle,
Thank you. I was going for sinister. I appreciate that. Yes, he is tricky. No one would think to trace it back to a koi.
Amy
LikeLike
nice sinister tale. i definitely won’t be trying the fish foot spa thing ^^
LikeLike
Me either, kz. Thank you!
LikeLike
I totally get this. That eye rolling thing is infuriating!
LikeLike
Thanks, Dawn! I agree completely.
LikeLike
In the words of the immortal Artie Johnson on Laugh-In, “Very interesting” … but I had this kept interfering … http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1aMZh3m_ez0
LikeLike
Ha ha! Frank, I did not think about this song. This is great. Thanks for this. Uncle Albert is not sorry! He wants revenge. I love the guitar in this song.
LikeLike
I’m still trying to figure out why Uncle Albert did it. Gee, your fish are evil, mine are just self-promoting! (Is Nick the Normal Bates of Koi World?)
LikeLike
Perry, the koi embodies an evil spirit that is Uncle Albert. I know usually koi represent light and hope, except in my story! He’s looking out for his nephew and no one, apparently, is good enough for him.
LikeLike
Not very a nice fish or Nick. Get the frying pan out.
LikeLike
And have the lemon juice and tartar sauce ready!
LikeLike
Oh! Teresa must not have done that. Well crafted. 🙂
-HA
LikeLike
HA,
Teresa never had a chance. Uncle Albert doesn’t approve of anybody!
Amy
LikeLike
Darn beautiful Uncle Ailbert is not a very nice guy. Neither for that matter is Nick.
I have to say, I sympathize with Theresa.
In seriousness, nice story.
LikeLike
I don’t know why Nick just doesn’t destroy Uncle Albert. Hmm…In seriousness, thank you, MythRider. I appreciate your comments.
LikeLike
I say keep the fish and keep fingers out!
LikeLike
If only it were that simple…
LikeLike
;0)
LikeLike
I wonder if Nick is a willing or unwilling pawn of Uncle Albert’s?
Gives “meet the relatives” a whole new meaning!
Great spooky tale.
LikeLike
Uncle Albert definitely has some power over him, although he is only a fish. Perhaps, he feels some allegiance to him. Thank you!
LikeLike
Oh I can just see Uncle Albert smiling from gill to gill right about now. I think the lesson here is never trust a fish named Uncle Albert — especially if he has teeth! 😀
LikeLike
Right, Linda! Who can ever trust an Uncle Albert for that matter?
LikeLike
Ha ha! Good point!! 😀
LikeLike
Not exactly Uncle Arthur from Bewitched is he? I wonder if he has a hideous laugh? Good thing she didn’t stick her toe in the water. That would have really offended him.
LikeLike
Uncle Albert isn’t a nice fish, is he?
LikeLike
Caught me out with your ending, very nicely done Amy
Dee
LikeLike
Oooh, write more of this story!
LikeLike
I’ve been bitten by catfish, pike and blues, but I’ve never, ever been so taken by a carp. This is a wicked tale that leaves me wondering: “What is it so deadly in the mouth of a koi?”
LikeLike
I’m sorry to hear about all the bites you’ve taken. Uncle Albert is not one to be easily pleased it would seem. He’s out of control. Usually, carp are so peaceful.
LikeLike
I will never put my hand in a koi pond again! We’re so sorry Uncle Albert, Hand across the water,
Heads across the sky.
LikeLike
Oh, wow what a poetic response, Michelle! I’m keeping my hands dry around all koi ponds from now on. I’ve spooked myself out.
LikeLike
I’m questioning the relationship between Nick and “Uncle” Albert. Poor girl.
LikeLike
I would say there is definitely tension in their relationship, Patti. She had no idea what looking into a pond would bring her. Poor thing.
LikeLike