It’s time for Friday Fictioneers. The holiday schedule has thrown me off this week.
Happy Anniversary to our wonderful hostess, Rochelle Wisoff-Fields, who is celebrating 42 years of marriage. Congratulations, Rochelle! Thank you to Ted Strutz for the photo. Someday, I hope to ride this ferry.
Click here for more stories from the Fictioneers.
Genre: Suspense (98 words)
Copyright – Ted Strutz
Memory Overboard
The glassy water promised calm. Sitting at a booth on the water’s edge, Malcolm considered swimming away. Among the bustling ferry commuters, he wouldn’t be noticed.
He found the man simply known as “The Captain,” with a thick, grey beard and salty, sea-seasoned skin.
“You’re a young kid.”
“Thirteen,” Malcolm nodded.
“Because it can’t be undone. I can try to pull one memory…understand there may be nothing left.”
Malcolm tossed him the money. The Captain shook his head. He held Malcolm’s hands and a heat surged between them.
Malcolm awoke to stillness, his identity stripped, his destination unknown.
I wondered where you were! I see all that Thanksgiving food fortified you for a really good story! ““Because it can’t be undone. I can try to pull one memory…understand there may be nothing left.” Haunting.
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Thanks, Dawn! I made it!! I’m always happy I write a story even when I feel depleted. Thanks for your kind comments! I appreciate that.
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Wow, that’s really great. Loved it. I couldn’t make out the image (it’s tiny and squashed on my computer for some reason), but I enjoyed your story. 🙂
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Oh, really? Thanks for telling me, Carrie. My computer is really messed up right now! I can barely function on it. Thanks for the compliment.
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Messed up computers are never a good thing! Sorry to hear it.
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We did Norton and it’s still funky. I was so hoping that would take care of it. Sigh.
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Wish that could be done for me! Wipe ’em all out. But how dare you post your story on Saturday, Amy? After all, this is Wednesday Fictioneers!
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Perry, sometimes it would be nice to have a wipe! Oh, now I’m really confused! Bloggers are so prompt and speedy. I can’t even link today. I’m having so many troubles! Yikes, but I am here.
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Cool Amy. (Typo made stripped striped. Unless there’s a further twist to this creepy cool tale.)
I am a fan of futuristic sci-fi suspense. I like this.
Love,
Shalagh
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Thanks, I’ll fix that. I’m having computer issues so I can barely think straight!
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Starting with a clean slate. Tempting and terrifying.
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Yes. And, being away at sea (even if close to land) is probably not a good place to start! Thanks.
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That’s pretty young to want to start over already, but some children have some pretty bad situations. They say the sea doesn’t have a memory, so it works well with this picture.
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Indeed, it must be bad. What? I don’t know. Thanks, I didn’t think even think of that – the sea not having a memory. Very good!
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Now that was mysterious. Now I want to know why a 13 year old would want it done. huh. Have you tried defragging your computer?
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Hmm…I think he’s terrified, Jackie, something awful. I don’t know about defragging. It’s better, but still needs work. Thanks for asking.
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How much space you have left on it? Usually a computer will act that way when it’s getting full, when there is a virus, or when it needs defragging really bad. When was the last time you dumped your cookies and cleaned up your drive? Sorry, a bit of a geek here. hahah! Ignore if you want. It’s ok. 🙂
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I just cleaned up a lot of stuff. It’s better, but still have so many ads, unwanted pages cropping up. It’s very annoying. I will check space. Thanks, Jackie.
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Hey Amy!
Very good and very interesting.
I think there is a sequel to this one somewhere down the line!
Regards
Jim
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Thanks, Jim. Perhaps, I actually think I could take it somewhere interesting. Thanks for reading.
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This is perfect. That the reader will never find out which memory Malcolm wanted erased just serves to underscore the essence of the story. Err, or did I miss it?
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Thanks, Eena. No, you didn’t miss a thing! I’m simply not saying. Sorry to leave you hanging. I’d like to think he didn’t want all of his memory erased, except he was willing to pay the price for removing the bad parts.
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Maybe Malcolm got his wish. Your story fit the mood of the photo. I’ll try to get you a better ferry when you come here.
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Thank you, Ted! I love the prompt, so much so I’d like to experience it in real life. Please no strange captains on the one we take a ride on!
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This make me wonder.. a clean slate.. is that good or bad. There is something mystic in the picture that you really caught.
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Whether it’s good or bad…hmm? I think that would be quite subjective. I think it would be bad, personally. Sometimes memories are all you have. Thanks, Bjorn.
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Great story! I guess he was warned that all his memories might go – he must have really wanted that memory gone to take the chance.
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Thank you so much! Yes, the stakes are pretty high so it must be a dreadful memory he wants to erase.
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oh this is awesome! what an interesting longer story this would make.well done 🙂
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Thanks, kz! Maybe, just maybe it will be a longer story. It could go so many different places.
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Dear Amy,
I’m glad you decided to take the plunge. 😉 I love your title that fit your story to a T. I too, am intrigued as to why and what Malcom wants to forget. Well done.
Shalom,
Rochelle
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Oh,frightening to think that a 13 year old wants to forget everything and to lose one’s identity-whoa,no!A wonderful take on the prompt-gave me goosebumps reading it 🙂
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Thank you so much!
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🙂
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You included so many hidden key ingredients there – including something very important, that first sentence. I think that’s where most readers decide whether the story will work or not, and yours was deceptive and edgy, despite promising calmness – really enticing for a reader. A lot in this, strong characters, interesting setting, and things not looking good. Definitely could continue. Very nice.
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Managua, thank you. Your comments mean so much to me. Thank you for taking the time for your thoughtful comments. I think I could continue this. Oh, where it would take me, I don’t know. It would be a journey of sorts. Destination unknown!
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I love this one Amy, your writing keeps everyone riveted
to the spot 🙂 Have a very happy Thursday my lovely friend 🙂
Andro xxxx
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Thanks, Andro. It’s comments like yours that keep me writing. I hope you had a lovely day as well! -Amy xox
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Apart from the 80mph gusts of wind the day was a good one Amy 🙂 🙂 Enjoy your Friday my sweet friend 🙂
Andro xxxx
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