Memory Overboard – Friday Fictioneers – 11/29/13

It’s time for Friday Fictioneers. The holiday schedule has thrown me off this week.

Happy Anniversary to our wonderful hostess, Rochelle Wisoff-Fields, who is celebrating 42 years of marriage. Congratulations, Rochelle! Thank you to Ted Strutz for the photo. Someday, I hope to ride this ferry.

Click here for more stories from the Fictioneers.

Genre: Suspense (98 words)

Copyright – Ted Strutz

Memory Overboard

The glassy water promised calm. Sitting at a booth on the water’s edge, Malcolm considered swimming away. Among the bustling ferry commuters, he wouldn’t be noticed.

He found the man simply known as “The Captain,” with a thick, grey beard and salty, sea-seasoned skin.

“You’re a young kid.”

“Thirteen,” Malcolm nodded.

“Because it can’t be undone. I can try to pull one memory…understand there may be nothing left.”

Malcolm tossed him the money. The Captain shook his head. He held Malcolm’s hands and a heat surged between them.

Malcolm awoke to stillness, his identity stripped, his destination unknown.

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39 thoughts on “Memory Overboard – Friday Fictioneers – 11/29/13

      1. How much space you have left on it? Usually a computer will act that way when it’s getting full, when there is a virus, or when it needs defragging really bad. When was the last time you dumped your cookies and cleaned up your drive? Sorry, a bit of a geek here. hahah! Ignore if you want. It’s ok. 🙂

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  1. This is perfect. That the reader will never find out which memory Malcolm wanted erased just serves to underscore the essence of the story. Err, or did I miss it?

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    1. Thanks, Eena. No, you didn’t miss a thing! I’m simply not saying. Sorry to leave you hanging. I’d like to think he didn’t want all of his memory erased, except he was willing to pay the price for removing the bad parts.

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  2. Dear Amy,

    I’m glad you decided to take the plunge. 😉 I love your title that fit your story to a T. I too, am intrigued as to why and what Malcom wants to forget. Well done.

    Shalom,

    Rochelle

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  3. Oh,frightening to think that a 13 year old wants to forget everything and to lose one’s identity-whoa,no!A wonderful take on the prompt-gave me goosebumps reading it 🙂

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  4. You included so many hidden key ingredients there – including something very important, that first sentence. I think that’s where most readers decide whether the story will work or not, and yours was deceptive and edgy, despite promising calmness – really enticing for a reader. A lot in this, strong characters, interesting setting, and things not looking good. Definitely could continue. Very nice.

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    1. Managua, thank you. Your comments mean so much to me. Thank you for taking the time for your thoughtful comments. I think I could continue this. Oh, where it would take me, I don’t know. It would be a journey of sorts. Destination unknown!

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