Welcome to Friday Fictioneers. Thanks to the lovely Rochelle Wisoff-Fields for hosting the group and to Randy Mazie for providing this week’s photo.
Click here for more stories from the Fictioneers.
Genre: General Fiction (100 words)
Copyright –Randy Mazie
Just Another Eyesore
For a long time it was just another eyesore to ignore everyday. One of many tagged corners, permeating from within, spreading like a virus throughout the neighborhood.
Jess accepted the blemish on the corner when the homeless crashed it and made it their own; the purple flowers, an invitation to stay. It wasn’t until one of them claimed it with the “No Tressrassing” that all hell broke loose and their home was slated for the wrecking ball. It was a sick joke that didn’t pan out. Nobody is laughing now.
Hiding behind jailed tears, Jess rode past on his bike.
AmyReeseWrites 
Last sentence really grabs the tone of this piece.
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Thank you, Audra. If I could add something, I would say…He didn’t look back.
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I think it’s perfectly. Jailed tears — very strong image
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Thanks!
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Good one Amy, I enjoyed this one, well done.
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Thanks, Summerstommy! I’ll be over to read yours.
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Hey Amy
I could visualize the people and the action in this.
Enjoyed it!
Regards
Jim
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Thank you so much, Jim. That’s great you could see it.
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Great atmosphere and social comment..working out that superb expression ‘jailed tears’
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Thanks, Managua. I stumbled upon it. This is what I love about the Fictioneers. Thanks for the kind words!
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Really well done Amy. I could feel his emotions and that’s something not always done in 100 words.
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Thank you, Jackie. Thanks for the feedback.
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‘jailed tears’—I like that.
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Thanks, Carrie!
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If only the new occupants had kept “under the radar”, people could have maintained the fiction that they didn’t know the building was occupied and just let it be.
I also like the “jailed tears”.
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Under the radar would have been a safer bet. Now, they’re back in the open. Thanks!
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I agree with other commenters that the story is very impactful, especially the last line about “jailed tears.” Well done!
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Thanks, Jan!
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you did a masterful job with the emotions and creating the atmosphere. 🙂 jailed tears–like that a lot
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Thank you, kz. You think jailed tears must have come up somewhere, right? But, maybe not. I’m not sure how came upon it. I was thinking, he wants to cry but can’t and what’s the use anyway. He is trapped in a prison, which I think happens to people who live in poverty everyday.
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Wow, this is very good, Amy. You put us right there in the scene.
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Thank you, Russell!
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Amy, I like the image and the fact that you incorporated, as many have mentioned above “jailed tears.” It makes me think, in a very short synopsis here, that Jess has experienced many “jails,” both literal and metaphorically and I think that was your intention. So well done!
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Brigitte, you are spot on in your analysis of my very short story. Thanks for taking the time to read it and ponder it. Thank you so much!
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No one wants “them” in their neighborhood. Your story describes the fate of many.
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All true, I’m afraid. Yet, the problems remain. Thanks.
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Great piece of writing. A lot said.
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Thanks, Patrick. I appreciate that.
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Lots seem to like (as I do) those ‘jailed tears’. That’s what’s so good about these photo prompts – one image triggers another and another, until a whole new world is created and populated by others triggering images – just like your story. 🙂
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Thank you so much, Ann! You just never know what it will bring, right? It’s a great, creative process.
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🙂
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I really like the progression of the story, Amy. The last line is particularly powerful, but the entire story has a somewhat bittersweet feel to it. I’m not really sure what the sweet part is, but it really feels that way to me. The essence of urban decay is in the story. Nice job!
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Dawn, thanks for your thoughtful comments. I get what you’re saying, but like you, have a hard time finding the sweetness. Hmm…maybe because it’s what he’s knows and it’s home to him, and that he cares about what happens to these people, perhaps because it just as easily could be him.
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It now makes sense why the spray painted sign is there.
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Thanks, Dawn. I saw it as a kind of twisting of words between Trespassers and Harassers.
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Looks like the comments have all been made. Good one, Amy.
janet
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Thanks, Janet.
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Dear Amy,
Sounds like some inner turmoil for Jess. A lot of emotion packed into a hundred words. Nice one.
Shalom,
Rochelle
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Thank you, Rochelle. I’m glad the inner turmoil came through.
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Reading through the comments, it seemed like you really struck a chord with the phrase “jailed tears”. It is a great, unique metaphor that expresses the point perfectly. I wonder if this is the sort of scene in a lot of areas of Detroit, where a lot of houses are abandoned.
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Thanks, David. I appreciate that. In Detroit and in many other places, sadly.
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I’m broken hearted for Jess and the people who made it their home. At the same time I’m angry that they couldn’t just leave these people in peace.
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It’s a sad situation out there for people who find themselves in it. In college, I spent a night with the homeless people on the street. Don’t worry, I didn’t do it alone. I found out a lot of them don’t want to be bothered.
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So much said in these 100 words, Honeybee. Really great.
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Oh thank you, Weebs!
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Two things stand out – jailed tears is cool and tressrassing is a weird weird spelling mistake.
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It tis, Jim! Strange, indeed. My take was that “Tressrassing” was a combo word of trespassing and harassing. Just making up stuff!
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A very good take I would say!
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Thanks!
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i’m stuck on the word “permeating.” it feels positive to me, but the scene of course is not positive. i’m trying to think of a similar word that’s more negative, like when a bad smell invades your nose. i’m stuck. or maybe i’m wrong and permeating is not positive. the the overall concept is well done.
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Yeah, you could be right about that one! Saturating?
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someone nearby i’m talking to just suggested that.
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No way!! That’s the one that came to mind. It doesn’t seem as flowery…
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This is a remarkable story that is so much grander than its 100 words.. very good work.
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Thank you, Bjorn. I appreciate that.
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You do this so ridiculously well. Ridiculously well.
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Thank you, darling Becky. You are so very kind!
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This piece touches upon homelessness,
thus adding a truism through the art of fiction.
I really like this one Amy 🙂
Andro xxxx
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Thank you, Andro. I’m very proud of this one. 🙂
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It is a very good read Amy
and thank you for offering it 🙂
Have a fun afternoon my sweet friend 🙂
Andro xxxx
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