It’s time for Friday Fictioneers. I hope everyone had a lovely holiday. I’ve run out of steam.
I wrote this on Friday evening and even poured a glass of wine for inspiration. Naturally, the wine makes an appearance.
Thanks as always to Rochelle, and to Doug MacIlroy for the stunning photo.
Click HERE for more stories from this week’s prompt.
Genre: General Fiction (101 words)
Copyright – Douglas M MacIlroy
A Sip Away
Tessa had seen every angle of this shiny tower on her way to work, and had imagined the most spectacular view. It fell short. She belonged here as much as her faux designer dress. It would pass for the real thing and her lipstick matched, but the stained, white linen underwhelmed her.
Thomas patted her hand. “Let’s have a nice bottle of wine.”
“Sounds lovely.”
He sipped and admired her through the delicate contours of his wine glass.
Tessa knew it would be the best vintage that ever touched her lips. One taste could seal their coupledom.
“I can’t,” she said.
Fabulous Amy, I read this as she is unable to drink, fearful of an addiction she has, hence the best vintage. Great story.
LikeLike
Thanks, Michael. Well, my intent is that the high society life wasn’t for her and she probably didn’t love the guy. I value your interpretation. Thanks for the feedback. I made a couple of changes.
LikeLike
Ahhh I see what you have, left out any doubt about how she felt about the man. Sort of taken out the ambiguity. It was ok the other way but I understand why you have changed it.
LikeLike
Thanks. I think it’s stronger. Sometimes, I just want a few more words…
LikeLike
Yes we have to work hard sometimes to keep it within the word limit.
LikeLike
Hmmm, one sip would seal it huh? Well, good thing she said no then. One could go so many ways with this one Amy. Is it the wine itself? Or is it him? Or something else? Makes me use the gray matter this late at night.
LikeLike
Oh, dear. I’m trying to say she doesn’t belong there, but if she tastes the wine, she’ll be tempted. She could fall in. Maybe I need to change a word or two! Anyway, that’s my intent…him. It’s him. She’s in it for the life, but when she finally gets a taste of it, it’s not what she hoped for.
LikeLike
It is a wonderful story Amy. “Tessa knew it would be the best vintage that ever touched her lips. One taste (would) seal it.
“I can’t,” she said.”
What if you changed the ‘would’ to ‘could’, then change the last sentence to something like ‘She couldn’t do it’
Just something to think about, if you want to change it. 🙂
LikeLike
Thanks, Jackie. I made a few changes before I read your comments. Can you read it again and tell me what you think? Thanks. I think I incorporated most of your thoughts.
LikeLike
Much better Amy for what you wanted it to state. Very well done!
LikeLike
Thanks, Jackie. Thanks for giving it another read.
LikeLike
So well done, Amy… but why, oh why does she say no? Damn!
LikeLike
Thanks, Dawn. It’s just not her after all. The wine is not enough! I think she probably regrets it. Damn is right!
LikeLike
Sounds to me like she’s not entirely sure about this relationship – it seems a shame, Thomas sounds like a nice chap!
LikeLike
Some things are too good to be true, perhaps. You want him to be a good guy, don’t you?
LikeLike
Yus 🙂
LikeLike
I don’t think it’s a bad idea if a story can be construed in many different ways. In fact I often leave the ending open in that way. I contemplated ‘suicide pact’, ‘reformed alcoholic’ and the one you intended, and it was good that the ‘coupledom’ fits all of those interpretations. I was thrown slightly by the stained white linen, wondering if that was the dress or the tablecloth but it didn’t mar my enjoyment. Well done.
LikeLike
Sandra, it’s interesting how just a word or two can change the whole slant of things. Thanks for your encouragement! I guess it’s not always a bad thing for a reader to interpret things. I’m in favor of this, myself. Hmm. the white linen…my thought was that they are in a restaurant at the top of the tower, eating, looking at the view. In hindsight, I did wonder if this was conveyed. Thanks for much!
LikeLike
ah – that was probably a wise decision… you convey the feeling of not belonging well here… although…
LikeLike
Thanks, Claudia. That was my hope! Although…hmm…will she regret it?
LikeLike
All about perspective. Smartly done Amy. All is not as it seems…
LikeLike
Thanks, Audra! Yes, I think this is true for a lot of situations.
LikeLike
Dear Amy,
I felt a little sad that she couldn’t drink the wine. But as you say in the comments, she had her reasons. A good one. I enjoyed it.
Shalom,
Rochelle
LikeLike
Dear Rochelle,
Secretly, I think Tessa is a bit confused herself. Should she at least stay for the wine. It may be the best she’ll ever taste! Thank you.
Amy
LikeLike
I read this as that her choice is wise.. this is like the reverse Pygmailion story a little – an Eliza that don’t want to reform to Higgin’s whims.. a story of strenght really.. maybe she should ask Thomas for some cheap wine in a small restaurant on Rive Gauche… and let him reform instead.
LikeLike
Bjorn, I love your follow up story. The Rive Gauche…have you been there? I find your story much more romantic and interesting. Thanks for your thoughtful comments! I’ll have to look up that story now.
LikeLike
cleverly done, amy. i like how she almost had a taste of the sweet life but gathered the courage to say no, knowing that he’s not the one for her. well done! 🙂
LikeLike
Thanks, kz! I may have sipped the wine myself. Thanks for reading.
LikeLike
The choice between love or money is clear: sad but clear. I like your Tessa 🙂
LikeLike
Thanks, Jan. I’m glad it was clear. Tessa is a strong one!
LikeLike
That last no frills line hit hard. Really unexpected. Lovely piece of flash fiction.
LikeLike
Thank you, Patrick. That’s very kind. No frills at the end…kind of ran out of words, but I think it worked.
LikeLike
Dear Amy,
I like it. Some things look grand from a distance, but when examined closely we see their flaws. Glitter may dazzle the eyes, but if the heart isn’t in it . . . .
LikeLike
Dear Russell,
Yes, you sum it up so nicely here. Glitter looks pretty from a distance. Up close, it’s kind of gawdy! Thanks.
LikeLike
What a temptation, to immerse yourself in that high-class lifestyle, even if she didn’t love him. I like the metaphor of the faux designer dress you use for her position: she doesn’t fit in even if she can fake it.
LikeLike
I enjoyed your comment, David. I’m glad the dress worked. You can look the part, but do you feel it? Thanks!
LikeLike
I hope Thomas hadn’t built his hopes up. Love the imagery the tower gives
LikeLike
It is beautiful, Jim. It brings out the romantic in me. Too bad mine doesn’t end happily.
LikeLike
He patted her hand? That would have put me off him straight away so I’m glad she didn’t sip from his poisoned chalice.
LikeLike
Thank you, Liz. A pat is for pets, huh?
LikeLike
she had a change of heart. good for her.
LikeLike
Thanks and thanks for reading!
LikeLike
Uh oh, someone’s not ready for the commitment. I have to give her credit for exploring though, in a beautiful city for amor. I enjoyed this one a lot. That last line was great.
LikeLike
I guess it’s pretty to recognize it before you get too deep. Yes, maybe everyone wants to fall in love in that city. Thanks!
LikeLike
Yes, she couldn’t go through with it because the shiny tower and all it represents just isn’t right for her. Umm, think I could get used to it though. Nice post!
LikeLike
Perry, I agree. She could at least try the wine! Ha ha. Not this girl. Thank you.
LikeLike
Dear Amy,
I will only say that this is one of the best stories this week. To say more, well, it would spoil the mood.
Aloha,
Doug
LikeLike
Dear Doug,
That is very kind of you to say. I feel it’s not a strong one, but thanks for the vote of confidence. I wish you a very Happy New Year!
Aloha,
Amy
LikeLike
I’m not sure what is going on here…I thought I knew, but the ‘stained, white linen’ throws me off. Thomas seems suave and I see a woman who has to stay true to herself and make a choice. I liked the wine glass line.
LikeLike
Thanks, Ted. They are in a restaurant, hence the view…I know this could be clearer. Thanks for reading!
LikeLike
Oooo– cold! At least she knows what she doesn’t want.
LikeLike
And that can be just as important, right? Thanks, Aussa!
LikeLike
Yes, most definitely. I admire her for not taking that sip.
LikeLike
Wise choice by Tessa. She wouldn’t want to “seal the deal” of coupledom with someone that wasn’t right for her.
LikeLike
I think so too, Michelle! Thanks. Coupledom would be a disappointment in the long run.
LikeLike
It quite often is.
LikeLike