A Sip Away – Friday Fictioneers – 12/27/13

It’s time for Friday Fictioneers. I hope everyone had a lovely holiday. I’ve run out of steam.

I wrote this on Friday evening and even poured a glass of wine for inspiration. Naturally, the wine makes an appearance.

Thanks as always to Rochelle, and to Doug MacIlroy for the stunning photo.

Click HERE for more stories from this week’s prompt.

Genre: General Fiction (101 words)

Copyright – Douglas M MacIlroy

A Sip Away

Tessa had seen every angle of this shiny tower on her way to work, and had imagined the most spectacular view. It fell short. She belonged here as much as her faux designer dress. It would pass for the real thing and her lipstick matched, but the stained, white linen underwhelmed her.

Thomas patted her hand. “Let’s have a nice bottle of wine.”

“Sounds lovely.”

He sipped and admired her through the delicate contours of his wine glass.

Tessa knew it would be the best vintage that ever touched her lips. One taste could seal their coupledom.

“I can’t,” she said.

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56 thoughts on “A Sip Away – Friday Fictioneers – 12/27/13

      1. Ahhh I see what you have, left out any doubt about how she felt about the man. Sort of taken out the ambiguity. It was ok the other way but I understand why you have changed it.

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  1. Hmmm, one sip would seal it huh? Well, good thing she said no then. One could go so many ways with this one Amy. Is it the wine itself? Or is it him? Or something else? Makes me use the gray matter this late at night.

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    1. Oh, dear. I’m trying to say she doesn’t belong there, but if she tastes the wine, she’ll be tempted. She could fall in. Maybe I need to change a word or two! Anyway, that’s my intent…him. It’s him. She’s in it for the life, but when she finally gets a taste of it, it’s not what she hoped for.

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      1. It is a wonderful story Amy. “Tessa knew it would be the best vintage that ever touched her lips. One taste (would) seal it.

        “I can’t,” she said.”

        What if you changed the ‘would’ to ‘could’, then change the last sentence to something like ‘She couldn’t do it’

        Just something to think about, if you want to change it. 🙂

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  2. I don’t think it’s a bad idea if a story can be construed in many different ways. In fact I often leave the ending open in that way. I contemplated ‘suicide pact’, ‘reformed alcoholic’ and the one you intended, and it was good that the ‘coupledom’ fits all of those interpretations. I was thrown slightly by the stained white linen, wondering if that was the dress or the tablecloth but it didn’t mar my enjoyment. Well done.

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    1. Sandra, it’s interesting how just a word or two can change the whole slant of things. Thanks for your encouragement! I guess it’s not always a bad thing for a reader to interpret things. I’m in favor of this, myself. Hmm. the white linen…my thought was that they are in a restaurant at the top of the tower, eating, looking at the view. In hindsight, I did wonder if this was conveyed. Thanks for much!

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  3. I read this as that her choice is wise.. this is like the reverse Pygmailion story a little – an Eliza that don’t want to reform to Higgin’s whims.. a story of strenght really.. maybe she should ask Thomas for some cheap wine in a small restaurant on Rive Gauche… and let him reform instead.

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  4. cleverly done, amy. i like how she almost had a taste of the sweet life but gathered the courage to say no, knowing that he’s not the one for her. well done! 🙂

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  5. Dear Amy,
    I like it. Some things look grand from a distance, but when examined closely we see their flaws. Glitter may dazzle the eyes, but if the heart isn’t in it . . . .

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  6. What a temptation, to immerse yourself in that high-class lifestyle, even if she didn’t love him. I like the metaphor of the faux designer dress you use for her position: she doesn’t fit in even if she can fake it.

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  7. Uh oh, someone’s not ready for the commitment. I have to give her credit for exploring though, in a beautiful city for amor. I enjoyed this one a lot. That last line was great.

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  8. I’m not sure what is going on here…I thought I knew, but the ‘stained, white linen’ throws me off. Thomas seems suave and I see a woman who has to stay true to herself and make a choice. I liked the wine glass line.

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Take it away.

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