Here’s my contribution to Friday Fictioneers, a wonderful group of talented writers, hosted by Rochelle Wisoff-Fields. Thank you to Claire Fuller for the photo.
Why not give it a try? Here are the instructions.
Today’s piece is loosely inspired by my trip to Preston Castle. Here’s a post I did about it last October. Preston’s School of Industry was a reform school, where juveniles were wards of the state. One of the vocations they could learn was carpentry. Many deaths occurred on the premises and the place is now considered haunted.
Click here for more stories from the Fictioneers.
Genre: Fiction (100 words)
The workshop remained intact under a blanket of dust. The kids swarmed the warehouse, its forbidden entry enticing the most innocent, with most testing their fiery independence.
Larry formalized his leadership, proclaiming, “The dude was stabbed here. Look. Drops of blood.”
The kids ran to his side, “Where?”
“Made you look,” Larry teased.
An object crashed into the wall. A baseball rolled into Larry’s foot. The kids ran outside, except for Jenny. She waited for Stu, who crept from behind a corner.
“I knew it was you,” she said.
A machine thumped loudly.
“Larry?” Stu’s voice echoed in the stillness.
Good one Amy, enjoyed it. There is an eeriness very well created in this story. Well done.
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Thanks, Michael. I’m glad you enjoyed it.
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I’m scared to death of Stu, keep him away from me! Or is it Larry? Certainly not Jenny. Okay, maybe Jenny. Nice spooky story!
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Too many?!! Three characters is kind of a lot. Thanks, Perry.
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I remember that original story… you sure have a knack for giving me the creeps! This is wonderful, Amy!
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Thank you, Dawn! I’m glad you enjoyed it. I’m glad I could connect the two with this prompt. It seemed to fit.
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Kids in factories where death involved always equals creepy!
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I agree, Jim. It’s a winning combination! Thanks. I always enjoy your comments.
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Cheers – why am I out of bed at 6.20 on a Sunday morning!
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Awww!! That’s sweet!
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Very creepy, well done.
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Thank you, Sandra. I’m glad you thought so.
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Shivers are going up my spine!
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Ooohh, thank you!
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🙂
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Very creepy atmosphere in so few words. Nicely done.
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Thank you very much, Jon. Thanks for reading.
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Amy,
I echo all the other comments, I like the creepy tone of this. You do it well. 🙂
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Thanks, David. I appreciate that. I have no idea why I write these dark tales. It’s a mystery to me!
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Yep. Can’t sleep at night now.
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Ooh, that means I did my job! Thanks, Patrick.
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I remember your Preston Castle post. This is great! I love how you used the picture plus your experience to put this together.
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Thanks, Melanie. I’m glad you found the post memorable enough to recall it. It was spooky and it has kind stuck with me. Thanks for reading!
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I vote for the ghost of the dude–real or imagined, abandoned buildings will always hold ghosts for kids. Good story.
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Thanks, vb. I think kids are sensitive to the supernatural, real or imagined. Thanks so much.
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I love your scary stories, Amy! Your post about Preston Castle was great. I remember the photos and how creepy it seemed. This prompt was perfect for a segueway.
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Thanks, Cathy. I’m glad you thought so. When I took the tour at the Preston Castle, I thought to myself what a fascinating backdrop it would be for a story! It’s loaded with history, that’s for sure.
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Seems the wrong place to be and getting worse all the time
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Next time, those kids will twice about stepping into the haunted zone. Or, will they? Thanks, Merlin. I will be over to read yours. I haven’t had much of chance to read many stories yet!
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I know what you mean! So many stories and so little time!
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Something tells me Larry is long gone.
You definitely keep me on my toes.
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Thanks, Michelle! I do my best to keep it interesting. Thank you so.
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“Love is kinda crazy with a Spooky little girl like you….” he he! Sorry after reading this and previous comments it is what came to mind! 🙂
Great story!~
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Ha ha! That’s funny. I love it. Love those lyrics. I’ll take that as a compliment. Thanks, Courtney.
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“Spooky” by Atlantic Rhythm Section Awesome song! But ya gotta be old like me to remember it~ LOL!
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Oh, I know the song!! It’s a goody. Love that one!
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*shiver*
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Ooh, I’m shocked I could make YOU shiver, mistress of the strange and mysterious!
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Nice one, Amy – very creepy! 😀
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Thanks, Dianne! Thanks for reading.
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I remember your other post, I love ghost stories. This one is great. Kids and ghosts are always a good mix.
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Thanks, Jackie. I agree, kids and ghosts are a good combo. I think kids are extra sensitive and have insights to strange things happening around them, whatever they are!
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i love it. creepy. and very atmospheric even with just 100 words. 🙂
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Thanks so much, kz! Your comments make me smile.
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It seems like kids are always looking for excitement even if it risks geting into trouble. It would make a good beginning for a really creepy longer story.
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Anything for fun, right? Thanks. I think it does have possibilities. Thanks for reading.
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Dear Amy,
Great tone and atmosphere, from teasiness to uneasiness. Nice job.
Shalom,
Rochelle
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Rochelle, thanks as always for your kind and thoughtful comments! They always keep me going. – Amy
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Oh dear… very creepy – well done! 🙂
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Thanks, Freya! Creepy was what I was going for.
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Yikes!She should have run when there was time!Loved this creepy story with an old murder thrown in,Amy:-)
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Thanks, Atreyee! I thought it was a great opportunity for me to try my hand at historical fiction, although I consider this mostly fiction! Thanks so much for stopping by.
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Enjoyed it too:-)
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Isn’t it amazing how you can say so much with so few words. How many times do writers need to be told:
SHOW DON’T TELL.
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Thanks so much. I always strive to show and not tell, at least it’s my intention. Thanks for reading!
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Echoing all the “creepy” comments (by which of course, I mean the story is creepy, not the creepy comments.) In the first line, “intact” rather than “in tact”, which I know you know. 🙂
janet
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Thanks, Janet. I’m always happy to creep you out. Thanks, fixed!
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There is nothing like a nice creepy story to whet the appetite my sweet friend and I have enjoyed this one Amy 🙂 Have a lovely rest of evening and a great start to your week 🙂
Andro xxxx
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Thanks, Andro! I’m so happy you enjoyed it. I hope you’re having a great week so far. 🙂
Amy xoxo
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Scary and creepy story – I can almost here the music. I would like to see Preston Castle. You are such a good writer – Thanks for the creepy dream to come. Nan
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Oh, thank you, Nan. I appreciate that. I hope your dreams weren’t too scary!.. – Amy
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Ah.. this was very creepy..
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Ah…thanks, Bjorn!
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So creepy! I wonder who was the actual spook though, Larry or Stu….. or neither of them? I’m dying to know what happened next there!
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I think a ghost, a young ward who died on the scene. I’m glad you enjoyed it! Thank you.
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Creepy … but when the baseball appeared, I was hoping it signified an out-of-the-park home run from the stadium next door.
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Stadium next door? Well, yes, of course. See, that’s the storyteller in you, Frank! Thanks for reading, as always.
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LOL … just a little twist.
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Creepy fun, all in a 100 words.
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Thank you, Dawn!
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