My Quest for Lazy Efficiency

Amy Reese,

Now we need more time than ever to bathe in social media and soak up its rays. Isn’t this why we have all this technology? To read memes and takes quizzes? Of course, it is. We don’t want to miss a thing.

Modern life conveniences have made it easier than ever for us to be lazy, and I daresay, they are convenient. What’s wrong with lazy efficiency if it helps us be more efficient? Do you have an answer for me? No, I didn’t think so.

A pre-washed salad with neat little bags of nuts and dressing, for example, takes mere minutes to prepare. With grated cheese and shredded lettuce ready to go, your tacos are already half-made. When was the last time you grated cheese? Anything, please help us, to make the dinner a painless process.

To name a few other Lazy but Efficient conveniences, we have:

  • Flossers
  • Gift Bags
  • Gift Cards
  • Texting (sometimes)
  • Ready-to-bake cookies (oh, food again!)

I was hard-pressed to find many Lazy but Efficient examples that did not relate to food. In fact, I had to create all new categories for “Lazy but Efficient” for the ideas that surfaced. See for yourself.

The Snooze Button

Who doesn’t use the snooze button? You don’t?

This is snoozy laziness at its absolute best. We think we’ll hit it just once. Twice is just as nice. Much better, actually. More, you say? How many times? You can tell me.

This is my alarm clock, complete with snooze button.

This is my alarm clock. Is it yours, too? Besides its much easier to include this here than to hunt for a photo of an alarm clock. Its Lazy But Efficient AND Accurate (and a wreck).
Is this your alarm clock, too?

(Besides its much easier to include this photo than to hunt for one of an alarm clock. This snapshot is Lazy But Efficient AND Accurate…even if this phone is just a wreck.)

The snooze is lazy but could it ever be efficient?

New Category: Lazy but Necessary

Drive-Thru Coffee

Take the drive thru at your local coffee house. It will take longer to get this coffee than if you were to park and walk in. Still, you drive through hoping it won’t take too long this time. You wait three times longer (four times?) to get your most necessary coffee, so necessary, that you will wait an “x amount” of minutes (you insert the value here) to get it. And look. Now you’re behind schedule, because you went out of your way to go to the drive thru on the other side of town. Not to mention the extra gas it’s costing you, and the emission of carbon dioxide into the environment while you idle, and thus breathe in while you wait, and you wait.

New Category: Lazy and Inefficient

This really is a line at Starbucks. Photo: Criana, Flickr Creative Commons
This really is a line at Starbucks. Photo: Criana, Flickr Creative Commons

Making a Left Turn into the Far Right Lane

I know this probably applies only to the American rules of the road. Hear me out on this one. When you are making a left turn and you know you need to move to the right quickly, doesn’t it just make more sense to swing over to the right lane in one fell swoop? Of course, assume the coast is clear and you will not crash into another vehicle. Admit you’ve done it, if only by accident.

This is definitely Lazy but Efficient, but since it’s a tad illegal we must give it a new category.

New Category: Lazy but Efficient, however illegal

Waiting for the Parking Spot Closest to the Store

Someone decides to wait behind your car in the parking lot for your spot as your unload your groceries, etc. Even though, there’s an available parking spot just yards (meters) away, he/she is stuck on your spot and won’t budge. Instead the “space watcher” is smoking a cigarette, blasting some obnoxious song you hate, or talking on the phone. So, you move slower, but as you do so, you’re getting more and more stressed and irritated.

New Category: Lazy, Inefficient and Annoying

There must be other Lazy but Efficient methods out of there. Does anything else come to mind? What did I miss?

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75 Comments

  2. Motorized scooters in any store. I think it is time to start licensing these things. I will design three t-shirts for users: #1, Too Old to walk; #2, Too Lazy to Walk; #3, I have a hidden disability that I am not going to reveal because it will make me look even worse than the people claiming to be lazy. (T-shirt #3 will have to be XXL.)

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    1. Ha ha! I forgot all about those. I think if I drove one of those around in the store I would knock something over! I don’t trust myself. Yes, those are in a high risk category for me. T-shirt #3 is perfect!

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      1. I watched one of these things go past me at the weekend. As an aid to walking, it’s unquestionable efficient. However, shouldn’t these things be limited to WALKING PACE? It was moving at about three times MY fastest ever pace – and I’m fairly fast (4.5mph according to my sat-nav). From walking aid to sub-motorized vehicle. Lazy, extremely effective but lethal to others.

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      2. Wow, you monitor your walking with a sat-nav? What is that exactly? That is a very fast pace for a walk. You’ve found yet another category! See, it’s actually hard to find lazy but efficient. This is a good addition: Lazy, Extremely Effective but Lethal. Hey, thanks for your tips.

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      3. Sat-nav = GPS. I didn’t monitor it so much as glance at it as I was walking from my car – and noticed it was still running. My little legs can still carry me forward at a good pace. 🙂

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  3. My pet parking lot peeve is when somebody (perhaps my wife but I’m not pointing fingers here) circles looking for a spot close to the store when there are hundreds of spots open just 25 yards further away. Park and walk. I’m ready to go. Maybe I’m the one that needs the label Lazy and in a Hurry. Good post, Amy.

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    1. Microwaves are dreadful and I can’t live without one! Autocorrect is a complete waste of time.

      I am in a state of shock that you don’t use a snooze? Really? How much sleep do you get, I mean on average? Wow, I wish I was you!

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      2. Really? Wow, Denise. It’s possible, huh? I’ll admit I like it to heat up stuff.

        I wish I could do this. It’s just in my makeup to fall asleep so early. I’m jealous. I know I’m actually most efficient in the early morning hours. They always feel like stolen time to me.

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      3. I think we can’t go against our nature – I can’t accomplish anything after 3PM that’s useful (except things like cooking).. all my friends and boyfriends were night people, so it was kind of a drag – but not that everyone is in their 40s/early 50s – they are coming around to my schedule!

        I have a gas stove/oven, so I can put things like butter right on the top to warm it up or melt it. It is possible to live micro-wave free! My son gets excited to bring nuke-able foods to school b/c they have a microwave there… Patience, Grasshopper, I tell him.. it’s ok to wait for things to heat up in a pan 🙂

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      4. I’m kind of the opposite, although I agree nothing happens at 3PM. That’s the dead zone part of the day. Ha ha. But, I seem to have more energy after 6PM. I must admit I’m far more productive if I can get up early, so I’m trying to do this! It’s still hard for me. But I am definitely coming around to your schedule.

        Patience…We all could use more of that. That’s cute he gets excited about microwaves. He does like to cook too, doesn’t he?

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    2. Just have to join in the microwave discussion you two are having here, I wanted to join in with it further down but there were no options to reply to the further down comments, although maybe my comment will end up further down anyway…shall I stop rambling and just get on with it? Ok – it’s funny because throughout my adult life I’ve had periods of time with a microwave and periods of time without. Like for instance I have one now that I’ve had for about 6 months, but prior to that I had been about 18 months without one. Whenever I have one, even though I don’t use it vast amounts, I still feel like It’s indispensible and I couldn’t manage without it, and yet when I don’t have one, I manage perfectly fine and only very occasionally miss it. I think we’re much more adaptable that we give ourselves credit for (and I’m not just talking about microwaves!).

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      4. I can do without a microwave. In fact, I don’t really use mine very much. But I like having it, just in case. It’s just nice to know it ‘s there I think. I still use the stove top the most, next the oven, last the microwave. I’m sure it’s not healthy, like plastic, which covers all of our food. It’s one of those conveniences that is hard to get away from!

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  6. GPS! I don’t know how I got anywhere before that little jewel. But I used to get lost a lot and it sometimes turned out to be fun! As far as parking lots, I just park way out in the lot and let the vultures fight over the prized spot. I like to walk. P.S. (do you have a new banner? It’s cool, Amy).

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    1. Of course, Brigitte! How could I forget this one? Actually, I just use my all-purpose phone. How did I survive before having this. It’s especially useful when you’re in a new place. I actually like the walking myself. Good for you. Yes, that’s a new banner, but you’ll probably see another one before too long. Adam is working on another one. I’m currently in a state of flux. Thanks.

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    1. Oh wow, Michelle! How could I have missed this one!! I love online shopping, not that I do it that often. The thing that has not worked with online shopping is ordering a swim suit. That has not yet worked out, although I’d still give it another shot! Anyway, this is definitely Lazy but Efficient. I don’t like any kind of shopping. Yeah, just deliver it to my door.

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  9. For me my DVR is lazy but efficient. Lazy because it allows me to fast forward all commercials. Other than during the Oscars recently, I don’t remember the last commercial I watched. Cuts an hour-long TV show down to 44 minutes. Now that’s my kind of efficiency!

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    1. Oh, of course! Carrie, that’s a fine example of efficient laziness. I don’t watch commercials anymore either. Now I don’t even have cable, so that settles that! I don’t miss them at all. That means more TV watching. Did you find a Dexter replacement?

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  10. Pre-sliced lunch meat. I will never again wait in line for someone to slice my meat for me. I’ll walk from the furthest parking spot, use my husband as my alarm clock, and I never drink coffee (I’m already hyper… trust me) but never the line at the lunchmeat. Never.

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    1. I can’t imagine my life without coffee, Jen. I certainly cannot rely on my husband as an alarm clock. Oh, we’re both lacking there. I do like pre-sliced lunch meat though. Have to have that one for school lunches. That comes in handy!

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  11. Lazy but efficient – those glass plant water-er thingies, the ones you fill with water and then invert and shove in the dirt in the pot and it waters your plant for you.
    P.S. I also don’t hit snooze. I usually wake before my alarm. I’m like Denise in that I’m useless at night, but a super power in the morning. I’m the morning person who gives morning people a bad name.

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    1. I’ve heard of these plant water-er thingies, but I’ve never used one. Maybe next time I have a plant, I’ll look into it. I’ve killed every plant in my house. This might be just the thing I need, Melanie!

      Oh, how I’d love to be a super power in the morning. Nah, that’s a good thing!

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  12. This was so much fun (and btw, my local Starbucks looks the same – what is it about that place?) There are endless examples of Lazy but Efficient at the grocery store, as you pointed out. Two of my favorites are pre-chopped onions and Egg Beaters that are packaged in individual serving sizes.

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    1. Thanks, Gwen. I’m glad you enjoyed it. Yeah, there’s always something about food, isn’t there? You think that’s all we do in our society is worry about food. Maybe that’s not too far from the truth since we need it to survive and everything. I could see how your favorites would really some in handy. A lot of times, I forget about my eggs and I have to throw them out. First World Problem, I know.

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  13. Those fridges that come with ice makers. I recently bought fridge and the salesperson thought I was a nut for not wanting one where you can get ice at the touch of a button. For an extra thousand bucks, I’d prefer to make my own ice in those little tray things 😀

    I don’t have an alarm clock – I wake up at 5:00 every morning (unfortunately) 😉

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    1. Really? An extra thousand bucks? That doesn’t seem worth it to me either. I make my ice with trays, too. It’s only a problem if I have company and then you can buy a bag of ice for a few bucks!

      I’m jealous. I truly am.

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  14. Hi Amy 😀 Drape yourself on the sofa, sup champagne, savour chocolates, bark orders and let everyone else in the house go bananas doing things 😉 Is that efficient enough for you ? Ralph xox 😀

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  15. Can I just say I have a new found respect for your ability to do this sort of post. You wait for it and then you strike. You are neither a lazy nor inefficient blogger. (My favorite however, remains the Wi Fi post.) I am inspired to be funny again.
    Love,
    Shalagh

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    1. You are the sweetest, Shalagh. I’m glad you liked it. I hope it made you laugh. I wasn’t sure if anyone really liked it all! Ha ha. Oh yes. The WiFi post…and I was to follow up with a Cloud post. Hmm…perhaps I shall. Thanks for this.
      Love,
      Amy xo

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  16. I am late to the party! Eh, what can I say? I don’t have a iPhone…..so I use a regular alarm the few times I need it. Otherwise I’m awake fairly early. Reading all this has made me tired…LOL….I should invest in one of the reader dohickeys..lol…..now that’s lazy!

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    1. Ha ha, Jackie. I don’t want to make you tired! This is me when I’m restless. Really, I just want to be absolutely lazy. How about a hammock and a glass of wine? What is a reader dohickey? All you early birds here! Maybe most bloggers are early birds! It is my best writing time, so I strive for it.

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    1. Coffee should be savored, right? I’ll admit it, Jim, I like the pre-grated cheese, but once upon a time, such a thing didn’t exist and we all survived fine without it!

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  18. I’m not sure that modern conveniences make us lazy necessarily, I think we just want to fit so many more things into our lives than we used to, that we have to have things that save us time in order to do that. If we still had to go down to the river to wash our clothes by beating them on rocks, that would be half a day gone right there on just one chore. When ways are found to enable things to be done quicker, we just add new things to fill the time gaps!

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    1. Exactly, Vanessa! Modern conveniences can give this false sense of productivity. Ha! You can heat up a meal in the microwave and it will give you calories, but may not satisfy you as much as taking the time to cook a meal. So, modern conveniences give us choices. They may or may not save us time or be as fulfilling as other methods, the tried and true ones. Although, I’d never ever ever trade my washing machine for anything!

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  19. You have been spending time as a fly on my wall again.
    Lazy but Necessary… phone is my alarm clock, but I always wake up before it goes off so I never hit snooze.
    Lazy and Inefficient…this would be He-Who and it would be MacDonald’s for breakfast.
    Lazy but Efficient, however illegal…He-Who has never mastered the skill of when to get into the turning lane. It doesn’t matter if he is turning right or left he will do it from the centre lane. The signal doesn’t usually start until he has already half way through his move.
    Lazy, Inefficient and Annoying…He-Who again…with cigarette and cell phone in action.
    I am sensing a pattern here.

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    1. Ha ha. LOL Michelle! Your examples are far better than mine. Gee, I wonder what this pattern is….hmm?? I agree about that turn signal. It’s like they’ve forgotten where they are in space and time. It’s a mystery how this happens. You’re so funny! Thanks for sharing.

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  21. The only reason I get up at all is my snooze button. Otherwise, I’d just turn my alarm without waking up and sleep in every time.
    The left turn into the right lane is okay as long as you look and are quick. 🙂 Have you ever seen the right lane of a six-lane road do a U-turn in front of all the other lanes at a stoplight? It’s pretty much only a taxi move, I think.

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    1. Whata whata?? I can’t even envision this move, so I’d say it’s a taxi move for sure, and one I can’t even try in the small town I live in. Ha ha. 🙂 Long live the snooze button!

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