Clean Slate
Freya looked past the fence into the mist, her eyes piercing into darkness.
“It’s too thick, Freya. We’re too late,” Eli turned around.
“You must free your mind, Eli. Let it go,” Freya said, tilting her head. He heard the soft-spoken wisdom of their mother.
She gathered the fog in a circular motioning of her arms, creating a wind around them.
“Hold my hand. Now.” Freya pulled them in one motion through a rush of water. They collapsed on hard, cracked dirt, their feet tangled in barbed wire.
“No, Freya. I want to go back.”
“We can never go back.”
***************************
Thanks to the wonderful leadership of Rochelle Wisoff-Fields and to all of the talented writers I have the pleasure of knowing through this amazing group. Thanks to Erin Leary for this week’s photo for the prompt.
I’m putting on my fantasy wings today and continuing my story of the brother and sister duo, Eli and Freya. I will write of story about them someday. I can feel it. I hope you will indulge me in my experimenting here.
If you are interested in participating, all are welcome. It has been a tremendous help for my writing. Why not give it a try? Click here for instructions.
For more stories from the Fictioneers, click here.
Genre: Fantasy/YA (100 words)
AmyReeseWrites 
Good one Amy, a lovely ending, we want more now.
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That’s so nice of you to say, Michael. Thank you.
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That was great Amy! I’ll be looking to read more.
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Thanks, Jackie. I’m glad you liked it.
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Sounds promising.
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Thanks, Sandra.
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Amy, what happens next? I love it and your words are so descriptive. Great way to write a story! Thanks for the entertainment! Nan 🙂
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Ah, thank you Nan. Thanks for the kind words. I’m glad I could entertain you.
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I just love witchcraft and magic (the good kind). I also want to know.
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Thanks, Patrick. Thanks for reading.
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i guess we can’t know what they are too late for and why they are too late. or why they can’t go back. or where they are, or who their mother is. or what she said that he was listening to. or… 😉
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Do you ask so many questions when you watch movies? Yeah, yeah, Rich. I’m thinking of a word that starts with “w” and ends with “y.” 😉
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Wussy?
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Sorry, I did not answer your question. Yes, I do ask questions when I watch movies.
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Whimsy. Whoopsy! But those aren’t it either! I don’t like any talking during a movie. I’m just kidding with you!
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i know, and it’s fun.
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Whiny came to mind, for some reason. Ha ha. I’m glad you can joke and you can always call me out on something!
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Right back atcha.
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I thoroughly enjoy the way you’re weaving so many of your Friday Fictioneer tales into one overarching story Amy. Every time one pops up, I feel like I’m delving back into a world which I only ever catch glimpses of, but which is familiar nonetheless. Magical, in every sense.
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I’m grinning from ear to ear. What wonderful comments you have for me. I appreciate it. Good to see you, Jon. Hope you are well. 🙂
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“We can never go back.” Awesome last line. Terrific building of drama. Awaiting the rest of the story! 🙂
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Thanks so much for the kind words, Honie. 🙂
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As a vignette, it works really well – a dramatic moment separated from all else.
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Ah, I’ve missed you Guapo. Thanks so much for that.
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Really liked this one Amy!! Well done! 🙂
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Thank you, Courtney. I appreciate it! 🙂
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No turning back on this one. I wonder where they’re going, although, this could be a metaphor for anything, really. Nice work this week, Amy!
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Thank you, Kent! Indeed, it could be a metaphor for anything. I had not considered that. I appreciate your comments. Thanks!
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Intriguing snippet of tale telling, Amy. I looked at that picture and all I saw was bad hair day weather.
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Ha ha! Initially, I saw a white horse eating an apple, but I went with something else. A bad hair day could also be intriguing. Thanks!
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That would have made a great story, V. You should join in on this sometime.
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Oh hell, where has she taken them now. I can’t wait for you to develop this into something bigger – I’m greedy to know the backstory.
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Ha ha! Thanks for that encouragement. I appreciate that, Sarah!
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That was powerful, so many things they could be escaping from, really makes you want to read more 🙂
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Oh, I appreciate your comments. Thanks so much, Helen! 🙂
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I really enjoy these characters and this new episode pulls us along, but leaves us wondering what comes next… wanting more! Nice job, Amy!
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Thanks, Dawn!
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It’s a real talent to get so much information about characters into such a short excerpt. I could actually visualize them. This is great work, Amy 😀
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Thanks so much, Dianne. I appreciate your feedback, as well. I’m excited you got a visual! I have one, too. I’m not sure how since I haven’t described them yet even for myself. 😀
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Hey Amy!
I liked it! There’s just something about the countryside which brings out all sorts of reflection and action.
Regards
Jim
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So true, Jim. Something about that wide open space. I appreciate your comments. Thanks!
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Fog, magic and no way back! I’m looking forward to seeing what happens to Freya and Eli next 🙂
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Me too! I have no idea what’s happening, but it’s fun to imagine! Thanks so much.
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such a great hook! now i want to know what happens next… i love the descriptions because you did it so well that it was easy for the readers to envision the scene their heads.(and that’s important in fantasy stories with plenty of action) great job 🙂
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Thanks so much for your lovely comments, K.Z. They mean a lot to me. 🙂
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I wanna go back personally! But you knew that already. Eager to see what happens to these two who most decidedly cannot. Well-written as always, Amy.
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I just thought it would be horribly sad (and dramatic) if they ended up in a worse place. The countryside was so pretty. Oh, too bad for them! Thanks so much, Perry.
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The image fits. Although the ending surprised me a little, it was also fitting.
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Thanks, Frank! The ending is not as pretty as the picture. 🙂
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Indeed.. Not easy to escape.. Barbed wire though – sounds painful.
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Barbed wire would not be pleasant. Thanks, Bjorn.
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Very well done. I liked it. and I’m vaguely remembering the brother and sister walking maybe. Yes, I think they are due a adventurous journey with your guidance. I miss hearing from you. And at the same time, I’m so proud of you.
Love,
Shalagh
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Thank you, Shalagh! I’ve missed you too . I read your last post but couldn’t comment. My computer had been hacked and can’t even use it. Then I have my child taking my phone (my last resort!). Anyway, I’m technologically challenged at the moment. Thanks for stopping by. Love ya, Amy
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This is a wonderful entry into what may be a beautiful fairytale. Explore.
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Thanks so much, Dawn.
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Nice snippet. It teases and whets the appetite with all those unanswered questions.
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Thanks, Russell. Thanks for reading.
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Dear Amy,
There’s magic in the mist. intriguing.
shalom,
Rochelle
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Thanks, Rochelle. I know it’s not the first time that mist and magic joined together. 🙂
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“I want to go back.” I get that longing.
I do so enjoy what you do with the adventures and connection of Eli and Freya.
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Melanie, ah thanks for your nice comments. Sometimes I feel the urge to explore these characters. Hopefully, I will write a longer story about them someday!
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Dear Amy,
Experiment away! You told everyone this was an exercise and that is all you need to offer in the way of disclaimers. I still want to know what that ‘w’ and ‘y’ word was. Spreading your wings and leaving the nest often entails raising a lot of dust and feathers. Some people are allergic to both, but the only way to fly is to try.
Aloha,
Doug
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Dear Doug,
Thank you. I write for an audience, but writing is a journey for me, too. Thanks for the uplifting comments. I needed to hear it. You can’t fly unless you try. So true.
Aloha,
Amy
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P.S. It’s whiny…shh.
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Amy, Interesting story. I’m sure many, including me, will be waiting to see what happens next. Well written. 🙂 —Susan
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Thanks so much, Susan! 🙂
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A very mysterious piece!
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Thanks, Managua!
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Such a lovely pic and now they are tangled in barbed wire. I fear for our brother and sister duo. What kind of mess have you gotten them into, Amy? Hopefully one you can get them out of. 😉
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A mess, indeed. Barbed wire would be an unwelcome sight! 🙂 Thanks, Michelle!
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