Clean Slate
Freya looked past the fence into the mist, her eyes piercing into darkness.
“It’s too thick, Freya. We’re too late,” Eli turned around.
“You must free your mind, Eli. Let it go,” Freya said, tilting her head. He heard the soft-spoken wisdom of their mother.
She gathered the fog in a circular motioning of her arms, creating a wind around them.
“Hold my hand. Now.” Freya pulled them in one motion through a rush of water. They collapsed on hard, cracked dirt, their feet tangled in barbed wire.
“No, Freya. I want to go back.”
“We can never go back.”
***************************
Thanks to the wonderful leadership of Rochelle Wisoff-Fields and to all of the talented writers I have the pleasure of knowing through this amazing group. Thanks to Erin Leary for this week’s photo for the prompt.
I’m putting on my fantasy wings today and continuing my story of the brother and sister duo, Eli and Freya. I will write of story about them someday. I can feel it. I hope you will indulge me in my experimenting here.
If you are interested in participating, all are welcome. It has been a tremendous help for my writing. Why not give it a try? Click here for instructions.
For more stories from the Fictioneers, click here.
Genre: Fantasy/YA (100 words)
Good one Amy, a lovely ending, we want more now.
LikeLike
That’s so nice of you to say, Michael. Thank you.
LikeLike
That was great Amy! I’ll be looking to read more.
LikeLike
Thanks, Jackie. I’m glad you liked it.
LikeLike
Sounds promising.
LikeLike
Thanks, Sandra.
LikeLike
Amy, what happens next? I love it and your words are so descriptive. Great way to write a story! Thanks for the entertainment! Nan 🙂
LikeLike
Ah, thank you Nan. Thanks for the kind words. I’m glad I could entertain you.
LikeLike
I just love witchcraft and magic (the good kind). I also want to know.
LikeLike
Thanks, Patrick. Thanks for reading.
LikeLike
i guess we can’t know what they are too late for and why they are too late. or why they can’t go back. or where they are, or who their mother is. or what she said that he was listening to. or… 😉
LikeLike
Do you ask so many questions when you watch movies? Yeah, yeah, Rich. I’m thinking of a word that starts with “w” and ends with “y.” 😉
LikeLike
Wussy?
LikeLike
Sorry, I did not answer your question. Yes, I do ask questions when I watch movies.
LikeLike
Whimsy. Whoopsy! But those aren’t it either! I don’t like any talking during a movie. I’m just kidding with you!
LikeLike
i know, and it’s fun.
LikeLike
Whiny came to mind, for some reason. Ha ha. I’m glad you can joke and you can always call me out on something!
LikeLike
Right back atcha.
LikeLike
I thoroughly enjoy the way you’re weaving so many of your Friday Fictioneer tales into one overarching story Amy. Every time one pops up, I feel like I’m delving back into a world which I only ever catch glimpses of, but which is familiar nonetheless. Magical, in every sense.
LikeLike
I’m grinning from ear to ear. What wonderful comments you have for me. I appreciate it. Good to see you, Jon. Hope you are well. 🙂
LikeLike
“We can never go back.” Awesome last line. Terrific building of drama. Awaiting the rest of the story! 🙂
LikeLike
Thanks so much for the kind words, Honie. 🙂
LikeLike
As a vignette, it works really well – a dramatic moment separated from all else.
LikeLike
Ah, I’ve missed you Guapo. Thanks so much for that.
LikeLike
Really liked this one Amy!! Well done! 🙂
LikeLike
Thank you, Courtney. I appreciate it! 🙂
LikeLike
No turning back on this one. I wonder where they’re going, although, this could be a metaphor for anything, really. Nice work this week, Amy!
LikeLike
Thank you, Kent! Indeed, it could be a metaphor for anything. I had not considered that. I appreciate your comments. Thanks!
LikeLike
Intriguing snippet of tale telling, Amy. I looked at that picture and all I saw was bad hair day weather.
LikeLike
Ha ha! Initially, I saw a white horse eating an apple, but I went with something else. A bad hair day could also be intriguing. Thanks!
LikeLike
That would have made a great story, V. You should join in on this sometime.
LikeLike
Oh hell, where has she taken them now. I can’t wait for you to develop this into something bigger – I’m greedy to know the backstory.
LikeLike
Ha ha! Thanks for that encouragement. I appreciate that, Sarah!
LikeLike
That was powerful, so many things they could be escaping from, really makes you want to read more 🙂
LikeLike
Oh, I appreciate your comments. Thanks so much, Helen! 🙂
LikeLike
I really enjoy these characters and this new episode pulls us along, but leaves us wondering what comes next… wanting more! Nice job, Amy!
LikeLike
Thanks, Dawn!
LikeLike
It’s a real talent to get so much information about characters into such a short excerpt. I could actually visualize them. This is great work, Amy 😀
LikeLike
Thanks so much, Dianne. I appreciate your feedback, as well. I’m excited you got a visual! I have one, too. I’m not sure how since I haven’t described them yet even for myself. 😀
LikeLike
Hey Amy!
I liked it! There’s just something about the countryside which brings out all sorts of reflection and action.
Regards
Jim
LikeLike
So true, Jim. Something about that wide open space. I appreciate your comments. Thanks!
LikeLike
Fog, magic and no way back! I’m looking forward to seeing what happens to Freya and Eli next 🙂
LikeLike
Me too! I have no idea what’s happening, but it’s fun to imagine! Thanks so much.
LikeLike
such a great hook! now i want to know what happens next… i love the descriptions because you did it so well that it was easy for the readers to envision the scene their heads.(and that’s important in fantasy stories with plenty of action) great job 🙂
LikeLike
Thanks so much for your lovely comments, K.Z. They mean a lot to me. 🙂
LikeLike
I wanna go back personally! But you knew that already. Eager to see what happens to these two who most decidedly cannot. Well-written as always, Amy.
LikeLike
I just thought it would be horribly sad (and dramatic) if they ended up in a worse place. The countryside was so pretty. Oh, too bad for them! Thanks so much, Perry.
LikeLike
The image fits. Although the ending surprised me a little, it was also fitting.
LikeLike
Thanks, Frank! The ending is not as pretty as the picture. 🙂
LikeLike
Indeed.. Not easy to escape.. Barbed wire though – sounds painful.
LikeLike
Barbed wire would not be pleasant. Thanks, Bjorn.
LikeLike
Very well done. I liked it. and I’m vaguely remembering the brother and sister walking maybe. Yes, I think they are due a adventurous journey with your guidance. I miss hearing from you. And at the same time, I’m so proud of you.
Love,
Shalagh
LikeLike
Thank you, Shalagh! I’ve missed you too . I read your last post but couldn’t comment. My computer had been hacked and can’t even use it. Then I have my child taking my phone (my last resort!). Anyway, I’m technologically challenged at the moment. Thanks for stopping by. Love ya, Amy
LikeLike
This is a wonderful entry into what may be a beautiful fairytale. Explore.
LikeLike
Thanks so much, Dawn.
LikeLike
Nice snippet. It teases and whets the appetite with all those unanswered questions.
LikeLike
Thanks, Russell. Thanks for reading.
LikeLike
Dear Amy,
There’s magic in the mist. intriguing.
shalom,
Rochelle
LikeLike
Thanks, Rochelle. I know it’s not the first time that mist and magic joined together. 🙂
LikeLike
“I want to go back.” I get that longing.
I do so enjoy what you do with the adventures and connection of Eli and Freya.
LikeLike
Melanie, ah thanks for your nice comments. Sometimes I feel the urge to explore these characters. Hopefully, I will write a longer story about them someday!
LikeLike
Dear Amy,
Experiment away! You told everyone this was an exercise and that is all you need to offer in the way of disclaimers. I still want to know what that ‘w’ and ‘y’ word was. Spreading your wings and leaving the nest often entails raising a lot of dust and feathers. Some people are allergic to both, but the only way to fly is to try.
Aloha,
Doug
LikeLike
Dear Doug,
Thank you. I write for an audience, but writing is a journey for me, too. Thanks for the uplifting comments. I needed to hear it. You can’t fly unless you try. So true.
Aloha,
Amy
LikeLike
P.S. It’s whiny…shh.
LikeLike
Amy, Interesting story. I’m sure many, including me, will be waiting to see what happens next. Well written. 🙂 —Susan
LikeLike
Thanks so much, Susan! 🙂
LikeLike
A very mysterious piece!
LikeLike
Thanks, Managua!
LikeLike
Such a lovely pic and now they are tangled in barbed wire. I fear for our brother and sister duo. What kind of mess have you gotten them into, Amy? Hopefully one you can get them out of. 😉
LikeLike
A mess, indeed. Barbed wire would be an unwelcome sight! 🙂 Thanks, Michelle!
LikeLike