Not a Hairball – Friday Fictioneers

“It clumps in my throat, all chalky and mealy,” Josh said.

A cat shunned us as we walked by. “Like a hairball?” I asked.

“Nothing like a hairball. Have you ever had a hairball?” Josh was seriously asking.

“Oh, sure.” I socked him. “Just pretend it’s papier-mâché.”

Aunt Martha and her entourage of herbs greeted us at the door; Buddy, the newest member of the family, offered licks and sniffs.

She served her meatless turkey in thick slices, a dry mass of yarn and carrots, as Buddy slobbered on our shoes. For once, no one complained and no leftovers remained.

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Genre: Humor (100 words)

Photo Copyright-Kent Bonham

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Let me just say that these prompts are not getting any easier. But for once, I am on time with Friday Fictioneers,  which means my story is out way before Friday. It’s a miracle!

Thanks to Rochelle Wisoff-Fields for leading this band of talented writers, and thanks to Kent Bonham for this most interesting photo. Check out more stories here from the Fictioneers. All are welcome to join in. Why not give it a try?

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67 thoughts on “Not a Hairball – Friday Fictioneers

  1. Great dialogue and nice story, but I’m not sure if there’s something I don’t understand… Why ‘for once’ did no one complain and no leftovers remained? What’s different about this time?
    Claire

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    1. Thanks, Claire. Yeah, Doug’s got it! The dog saves the day and is eating all those table scraps that have mysteriously found their way to the floor. Does it make sense now? Maybe I should say he’s a dog. I guess I really didn’t. I may change that. Thanks for your feedback.

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  2. A dry mass of yarn and carrots sounds absolutely gross! The hairball though… now you’re talking. 😉 I must confess I thought along the same lines as Claire. Wonderfully entertaining though.

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  3. Dear Amy,

    I’m wondering why the cat shunned them. Oh, I think I understand why. I hope Buddy doesn’t shun them after this delightful dinner. I think Aunt Martha may be related to a cousin of mine whose cooking could’ve been used as a lethal weapon.

    Well done.

    Shalom,

    Rochelle

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    1. Dear Rochelle,
      Oh, that silly cat. He’s trying to be high and mighty, or maybe he’s in the middle of a hairball. 🙂 Other than that, no particular reason. His needs are probably not being met.

      I’ve had a turkey once like this before. It sounds like you know what I’m talking about. Eating it is truly the last thing you want to do. Thanks!

      Shalom,
      Amy

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  4. Dear Amy,

    I love the cat shunning them. Made me guffaw. A great take on the mystery of the prompt. Well done. (That’s how Buddy likes his meatless turkey, too.)

    Aloha,

    Doug

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    1. Dear Doug,
      Oh, you gave me a good laugh this morning. That’s what cats do best. Buddy doesn’t mind a mystery, maybe he even prefers it. Oh, what a helpful dog! Thanks, Doug.

      Aloha,
      Amy

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    1. Kitties demand to be served. Buddy is just trying to do his best. I admire that in dogs. In this case, Buddy saves the day.

      Oh, I must make you do this every week! Ha ha. Thanks for putting up with me. 🙂

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  5. I thought I was going to be first up on the comment board until I realized you posted early. No matter, I like to start my day with some clever words from Amy Reese. That thing on a stick does look an awful lot like a hairball. Perhaps it is the “drumstick” part of the tofurky.

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    1. So happy you could spend some of your morning with me, Michelle. I always look forward to your thought provoking comments. This is no exception! But of course this is a “drumstick” tofurky. Ha ha! Thanks for helping me solve the mystery.

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  6. So Aunt Martha’s vegan cooking leaves something to be desired, unless your palette is utterly non-discriminating like Buddy’s who would likely enjoy scarfing what looks like a hairball on a stick, Amy.

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  7. This is so timely with the latest news-of-the-weird story making the rounds today about a girl who had eaten enough of her own hair (and carpet fibers too, I think) to amass a 9lb hairball in her stomach.

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    1. I SAW that, Melanie! I actually read it moments before I wrote my story as I was distracted. I had the hairball idea in my head before, coincidentally. I thought about linking that story, but I felt really bad for that girl. Pretty awful and strange! Something about her possibly being deficient in certain minerals? Did you read that?

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      1. I did read that. I first learned about cravings for non-food items when I was pregnant and that it was a sign of a mineral deficiency. I can’t even imagine how incredibly painful that must have been for her.

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  8. I liked your spin on this, Amy! As weird as it sounds, I wouldn’t mind trying Aunt Martha’s “mass of yarn and carrots.” Provided I could have a mountain of hummus on the side.

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    1. Thanks, Kent! Have you seen the latest hairball story in the news? It does do horrible things, something awful. Thanks for the picture. I’m sure it inspired a variety of stories!

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    1. It sounds yucky to me, too! It’s a good reason to have a dog. I feel a tad guilty about poor Buddy. I guess he probably doesn’t know the difference. Thanks so much, Russell. Everyone is so much fun. And I’m feeling the need to be light.

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  9. ‘a dry mass of yarn and carrots,’ is such a great description. Poor Aunt Martha, if only she knew it was all going in the dog. The nosey part of me wants to know what they ate on the way home. Or was there pudding? Lovely dialogue and you’ve managed to create three characters I want to know more about in 100-words – well done. 🙂

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    1. Thanks so much, Sarah! I’d say that definitely there was pudding since everyone cleaned their plate. 🙂 It’s the least Aunt Martha could do for them. Thanks. You’re so kind.

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  10. Dear Amy, Remember the movie “National Lampoons Christmas Vacation” with Chevy Chase. During dinner, Uncle Eddy’s dog was “hacking on a bone” from the kitchen. This is what this reminds me of. Such a funny scene and I think this is the cats meow! Wonderful writing Amy! Good story! Nan 🙂

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