I enjoy The Huffington Post and usually explore the headlines on my smartphone. Many of my blogging friends have had articles published on the HuffPo, and when that happens it’s a truly special day. Celebrities are in my midst, mind you, celebrities who will talk to me. Special, like I said.
But on a typical day, I attempt to read what seems like a countless stream of headlines. Where is the end of these stories, I ask, only to discover in total bewilderment moments later, I’m still not at the end. This begs the question, what are the headlines these days? They are whatever you like them to be, silly. Don’t you know? You decide what’s news, what’s important, and how you want to spend your precious time.
In the interest of time, and those nifty “Quick Read” buttons that HuffPo has with each article, getting through the news has never been more efficient.
Much of the story, for example, can be garnered through the headline alone. Let me show you. As far as selected headlines go, work with me here. I never said they were highly valued, significant headlines. Who cares about that? The important thing, friend, is that you are satisfied.
Settle in, but don’t worry…this won’t take but a minute. Included in this list of headlines are, wait for it…Actual Headlines. Here they are:
1. How To Feel More Relaxed This Week
All right, this is a no brainer. Lay on the grass and you shall relax. Oh, not so fast. When I click on this news story, I find another headline, and it’s this: 7 Ways To Feel Less Stressed Using Brain Games
That’s a bit misleading, huh? I have to activate my brain now and play brain games. Excuse me, but I can’t think of way to feel more stress.
2. “Nobody is Truly Ready” for Sea Level Rise
It’s confirmed. Nobody is ready. Not you, not me. We’re all falling into the ocean.
3. A Formula For Making Any Relationship Thrive
This one is simple: More sex. That is the formula. Does this couple look happy? Yeah, yeah, it’s sex.
Inside scoop: There’s a video and, better yet, it’s Dr. Phil. So, I went straight for the “Quick Read.” Dr. Phil has this to say:
If all you ever deal with in a relationship are problems, you’re going to have a problem relationship.
Let me see if I got this straight. If you have relationship problems, your relationship is a problem. Shall I dig deeper, because certainly there must be more.
Dr. Phil also has this to say:
The formula for success in a relationship is a function of the extent to which it’s based on a solid underlying friendship, and it meets the emotional needs of the two people involved.
As I said, more sex.
4. ‘Dingaling’ Puts Glow Stick In Microwave, The Obvious Happens (VIDEO)
There is no need to watch the 4 minute video, although I’m afraid I tapped into it, and I wished I hadn’t. All you really need to see is this bit here. I do feel pretty bad for the “dingaling” with the awesome shirt, who happened to have a glow stick explode in his face. The father cared but a whiff about his safety, but I did learn the following from HuffPo. It’s this:
The chemical inside most glow sticks — dibutyl phthalate — is low in toxicity and causes only minor irritation if swallowed or in contact with the eye.
Good to know.
5. These Foster Kittens Love Being Bottle Fed So Much They Can’t Stop Wiggling Their Ears
Things have deteriorated rapidly. Just under the exploding glow stick are the kitties with the wiggly ears.
FYI: These foster kitties, known as the “breakfast bunch,” are named Waffle, Pancake, Muffin, Hash Brown, and Biscuit.
Of course, you will watch. How can you not? I won’t tell.
[Sorry, the video has been deleted. Trust me when I tell you this kitty was darn cute!]
Do you get distracted by news that is less than important? Relax, but I wouldn’t recommend any brain activity games unless, of course, that’s your thing.