News at Your Fingertips

I enjoy The Huffington Post and usually explore the headlines on my smartphone. Many of my blogging friends have had articles published on the HuffPo, and when that happens it’s a truly special day. Celebrities are in my midst, mind you, celebrities who will talk to me. Special, like I said.

But on a typical day, I attempt to read what seems like a countless stream of headlines. Where is the end of these stories, I ask, only to discover in total bewilderment moments later, I’m still not at the end. This begs the question, what are the headlines these days? They are whatever you like them to be, silly. Don’t you know? You decide what’s news, what’s important, and how you want to spend your precious time.

In the interest of time, and those nifty “Quick Read” buttons that HuffPo has with each article, getting through the news has never been more efficient.

Much of the story, for example, can be garnered through the headline alone. Let me show you. As far as selected headlines go, work with me here. I never said they were highly valued, significant headlines. Who cares about that? The important thing, friend, is that you are satisfied.

Settle in, but don’t worry…this won’t take but a minute. Included in this list of headlines are, wait for it…Actual Headlines. Here they are:

1. How To Feel More Relaxed This Week

n-RELAXED-large300

All right, this is a no brainer. Lay on the grass and you shall relax. Oh, not so fast. When I click on this news story, I find another headline, and it’s this: 7 Ways To Feel Less Stressed Using Brain Games

That’s a bit misleading, huh? I have to activate my brain now and play brain games. Excuse me, but I can’t think of way to feel more stress.

Next.

2. “Nobody is Truly Ready” for Sea Level Rise

Florida Coast Line At Greatest Risk Of Rising Sea Level
Inside scoop on the next page. Guess what? It’s a no brainer. ‘Nobody Is Truly Ready’ For Rise Of Seas

It’s confirmed. Nobody is ready. Not you, not me. We’re all falling into the ocean.

Next.

3. A Formula For Making Any Relationship Thrive

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This one is simple: More sex. That is the formula. Does this couple look happy? Yeah, yeah, it’s sex.

Inside scoop: There’s a video and, better yet, it’s Dr. Phil. So, I went straight for the “Quick Read.” Dr. Phil has this to say:

If all you ever deal with in a relationship are problems, you’re going to have a problem relationship.

Let me see if I got this straight. If you have relationship problems, your relationship is a problem. Shall I dig deeper, because certainly there must be more.

Dr. Phil also has this to say:

The formula for success in a relationship is a function of the extent to which it’s based on a solid underlying friendship, and it meets the emotional needs of the two people involved.

As I said, more sex.

Next.

4. Dingaling’ Puts Glow Stick In Microwave, The Obvious Happens (VIDEO)

There is no need to watch the 4 minute video, although I’m afraid I tapped into it, and I wished I hadn’t. All you really need to see is this bit here. I do feel pretty bad for the “dingaling” with the awesome shirt, who happened to have a glow stick explode in his face. The father cared but a whiff about his safety, but I did learn the following from HuffPo. It’s this:

The chemical inside most glow sticks — dibutyl phthalate — is low in toxicity and causes only minor irritation if swallowed or in contact with the eye.

Good to know.

Next.

5. These Foster Kittens Love Being Bottle Fed So Much They Can’t Stop Wiggling Their Ears

Things have deteriorated rapidly. Just under the exploding glow stick are the kitties with the wiggly ears.

FYI: These foster kitties, known as the “breakfast bunch,” are named Waffle, Pancake, Muffin, Hash Brown, and Biscuit.

Of course, you will watch. How can you not? I won’t tell.

[Sorry, the video has been deleted. Trust me when I tell you this kitty was darn cute!]

Do you get distracted by news that is less than important?  Relax, but I wouldn’t recommend any brain activity games unless, of course, that’s your thing.

Photo credits:  jacilluch via photopin; What else? Huffington Post

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66 thoughts on “News at Your Fingertips

  1. I can see why I haven’t yet quite hit the big time. There was me writing something that passes as serious articles on The Huffington Post and yet what I really need to do is find some footage of a cat playing a piano as a group of mice dressed up in Downton Abbey outfits dance on the floor. Thanks for the tip-off 🙂

    BTW as the spammers say, I love your nice and clear blog layout.

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    1. To be fair, there are some great articles on Huffington Post. I’m just looking at crap! Mostly. But your idea is a good one, Stephen! You should go for it. It sounds like a winner. 🙂

      Why thank you, darling. Readability is important to me.

      Liked by 1 person

  2. Okay now that’s funny… I don’t think I ever really got The Huffington Post, to be honest. But here is what I have learned: Dr. Phil is a wanker, no doubt, and despite the incredible temptation, I refused to click the video of that ear-wriggling kitty. And yes – more sex!

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    1. I always look at The Huffington Post, Trent. I’m surprised how long it takes me to scroll the “headlines.” I could sidetracked, as you can see. Pathetic! I know. Dr. Phil is a wanker. I couldn’t have put it better. I used to watch him. How? I don’t know. Just admit to me that you DID see the kitty. C’mon! It will brighten your day. Sex, it’s so simple.Formula, pfft.

      Liked by 1 person

    1. Yes, Audra! Damn phones. More and more, I feel like we’re those people in that “Wall-e” movie, useless and consuming material that make us stupid and lazy. Look, I’m guilty! At least I’m aware of it!

      Liked by 1 person

  3. I used to write for my high school newspaper and it was ground into our heads that everything relevant should be in the first three paragraphs. Anything after that is superfluous.

    That couple looks like they’ve known each other for about eight weeks. It’s the eight-week glow.

    Dr. Phil is a pumpkin-head idiot. I have no respect for him.

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    1. I wonder about those rules now with something “Quick Read.” Does anyone even read the whole article now? I think it’s the nature of online reading, too. We can only read so much online…and then, of course, there are distractions galore!

      Eight weeks tops…still in the glow of freshness. We know, don’t we?

      Dr. Phil is who he is….destroying one life at a time. Oh, just kidding! I’m sure he’s helped someone. I understand he’s not a doctor at all, or am I thinking of Dr. Oz?

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  4. I really don’t care for when the headlines are a stretch from what the article is really about. Nevertheless, if the sea reaches your area, all of us are in trouble … thanks for confirming the stupid things people do (glowsticks in microwave) … and gotta laugh at the adorable kitten.

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    1. The topic of climate is truly a serious one, Frank. How it ended up in this post maybe shows the true nature of skimming through headlines. The ultra serious mixed in with the useless and “fun.” It makes my head spin. I agree if California falls into the ocean. we’re in mighty big trouble. It’s sad because the damage done can’t be undone anymore. So, you looked! The kitty is beyond cuteness!

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  5. Dr. Phil is a tool. I haven’t seen his show in a long time, but when I did see it he basically just brought people on the show to tell them that they were stupid.

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    1. Scott, I used to watch his show, too. A long time ago it seems. You wonder how much of it was staged! Oh, the drama and the tears. There was always that one that was ganged up on! I remember now.

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  6. I don’t read the HuffPo very much, Amy. Thanks for reminding me why. But I did watch the video of that cat sucking on the bottle. I’m not a vet nor have I played one on TV, but it seems to me that its ears move (or, if you prefer, wriggle) when it suckles. It seems to be a reflex that’s wired into this creature.

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    1. V, I read the HuffPo, or as you can see… I skim it! I do usually read a few articles. I used to read it more, but can’t get past all the distractions. I do like their “Books” section a lot. Now that little bit of info you provided about the precious kitty would have been useful! Thanks for sharing.

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  7. You’ve just described why I still read an old-fashioned newspaper instead of getting my basic news from a website. Even the best news websites are far too cluttered and not organized in an easy to navigate fashion. And I find them getting worse instead of better as they try to cram more and more information in. I have never got into reading HuffPo for exactly the reasons you describe here. It’s all just a bunch of crap. I’m not suggesting that we should all just focus on “the news.” A cute cat video every now and then isn’t a bad thing. And more sex in a relationship is an even better thing. But, the dumbing down of the human race is accelerating at a rapid rate due to the endless junk on the internet. Who was the guy who said back in the 50’s that the television was a a vast wasteland? He’s turning over in his grave at the wasteland the internet has become.

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    1. Oh yes, the clutter!!! Help!! My head is so cluttered after looking at some of these “news” sites. I know they are trying to appease the masses, but it’s out of control now, isn’t it? Even an old-fashioned newspaper is so bare bones these days, at least the local ones. Maybe a bigger paper is okay still. I should look into that. I usually read scraps of what’s left behind at my dad’s clubhouse. It’s hard not to look at the “cute” and “funny” stuff. I laugh, it’s cute, but there’s so much of it, right? So much of it that maybe people can’t read or look at anything else.

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      1. I still get the Sacramento Bee every day at home. It’s the first thing I do in the morning — read the paper. I feel like an old man. Now, I just need to acquire a taste for coffee and have a fluff ball dog that keeps my feet warm while I read. Or something like that. Oh, and maybe my dentures on a plate.

        Anyway, yes, it takes me about 10-15 minutes to read the paper these days because there is so little of substance to it. I still prefer that to trying to navigate the Bee’s website. There is something about news websites that is just so visually out of control, I do everything possible to avoid them. I don’t know if you’ve ever heard of Andrew Sullivan, but he’s a writer/journalist who has been blogging for more than a decade. His blog is a perfect example of what I prefer. It looks like a lot like our blogs. One post at a time and you just scroll through it and read what you want. And he writes about a variety of things — politics, current events, foreign affairs, cultural issues, science and technology, business. There’s a little bit of everything. I’ll take that over the visual clutter of the mainstream sites any day of the week. in case you want to check him out … andrewsullivan.com.

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      2. You mean The Dish! Yes, I follow him. He’s excellent and a great resource. Great visuals, graphs! I can’t remember how I stumbled upon him, but I have been following him for some time.

        A fluff dog! And a rocking chair. No, no!

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    1. Unless HuffPo is just short for the Huffington Post itself. Of course, I’ve heard of that, and I’ve read their articles. But I didn’t know if HuffPo is a specific site that people can submit articles to?

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      1. A lot of people I know from blogging have had their posts published on Huffington Post. Maybe it’s just a handful, but I know you probably know some of them (or all of them)!

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  8. I get so distracted it is ridiculous. Somehow the original story leads to another which leads to another and before I know it I am behind in my work, half the day is gone and I don’t remember where I started in the first place. I unsubscribed to Huff as I was getting way too much. I figure if there is something really good I should see, one of my friends will tweet it.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. That’s not a bad practice, Michelle! See if your friends tweet about it. I have Huff on my phone, the app. So there you have it! It’s very easy to turn to it and get kind of stuck there! You wonder how anyone gets anything done these days. I think you have to live in a cave to be distraction-free.

      Liked by 1 person

  9. I find it annoying when I get lured by headlines and then feel misled when the real story doesn’t live up to what was implied by the headline! I’m not specifically talking about The Huffington Post, just news sites in general. Especially if it’s a celebrity based story, where there’s like no story at all, but they want to suggest there is one in the headline – there was a classic one a few years ago, actually on the BBC news website, where the headline said something like “Paper shortage delays the completion of the latest Harry Potter book” and then the story was simply that J.K.Rowling likes to write her books in longhand on a particular type of notebook, and she went into town to buy more of the notebooks while writing the last Harry Potter book, but they had run out of them at her usual shop and it took her a while to find another shop that stocked them – THAT was it! That was the story.

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    1. That little story just used J.K. Rowling’s name for some views. Quite a little stretch that one was! I’m sure that happens a lot. It’s all about keeping your viewer on your site. If they are distracted enough, they soon forget why they came there in the first place. When that happens, you’re in trouble, right? You’re in a kind of la la limbo, like since you didn’t know what you wanted, it’s okay that you’re caught up in ridiculous, stupid stuff. I think news sites do a lot of this. I miss the quiet paper sometimes. Online news always seems to be very busy busy.

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  10. I’m guilty of perusing misleading HuffPo articles, Amy. Whenever I come across a silly headline and relay it to my husband, this is his response: “That’s not real writing, Anka. Don’t get your news from the Huffington Post.” But I can’t help it. Sometimes mind numbing entertainment is just what I need after a hectic day!!

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    1. That’s true, Anka. Sometimes the silliest headlines just lure you. And you know it’s going to be wasting your time, but you got there anyway! It’s not hard to find mindless entertainment. That much I know!

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      1. Oh, I’ve been on Pinterest. Mostly for birthday ideas, but I’ve never created an account. Kind of like Facebook, I’m not ready to go there yet.

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    1. Oh, you’re the sweetest, Dawn. You just made my evening! Thanks, I’m glad I could entertain you. I aim to please. Are you having trouble posting comments on my blog? Let me know if you are.

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