The Trimmings Tell the Real Story

Walking through my neighborhood, I pause to look at the various holiday decorations. And, guess what? I’m on to you, Santa. Santa has been very bad. If you look deep enough, and trust me, I always look deep, you will just need a few clues to put this puzzle together.

You think Santa has been busy with the season? The trimmings tell the truth behind Santa’s twinkling eyes and his merry dimples, and his diligent elves, working day and night.

They paint the picture that they’re working so hard:

December 2014 452

Look at them. Look at the smiles on those faces. They are not to be trusted, because get this. Here it was almost noon and I catch Santa still in bed…with a list of names….

December 2014 447

Sure, it’s the Naughty and Nice List. Uh huh. Sure it is. Tell me, Santa, what are you doing with that list in bed at noon time? I’m sure I don’t want to know. Is this the Naughty List by any chance? Don’t those elves of yours take care of this list, hmm?

I checked on those elves, and this is what I saw:

December 2014 451

Rough night, huh? Too many peppermint candies? Too much hammering?

I’m sure this is why they put the poor deer to work, because I observed this as well:

December 2014 459

Where is Santa now? Where’s his sleigh?  Allowing this deer to go out all by herself with a sleigh? The fragile deer is slaving away with no berries in sight. What about the others? Where are they? They are no doubt partying it up with Peacock here. All he has to do is spread his feathers.

December 2014 457

Where’s his sleigh? I tried to get Santa to comment, but he was otherwise “Occupied,” guarded by two deer:

December 2014 455

Now you know. Everybody poops and so does Santa. If you look more closely, Santa has either shrunk or he is halfway down the toilet. Perhaps, this is his secret travel mechanism to reach the other side of the world so quickly. It’s his black hole. I’ve heard of stranger theories.

What about you? Are you enjoying the magic of the season? How is the shopping/gifting/baking/wrapping going?

We are expecting what they are naming the “Storm of the Century.” I’ll believe it when I see it. I have hot cocoa. Hey, this marks my 300th post. So, cheers!

Here’s my effort to send some holiday cheer your way! I hope you are feeling merry and bright.

45 thoughts on “The Trimmings Tell the Real Story

  1. Congratulations Amy. I was shocked though to see Steve as the top name on Santas list when you caught him in bed. I’m either in big big trouble or it’s going to be a hell of a Christmas lol!


    1. Thanks, Stephen. It’s really just a side note I just noticed right before posting. But hey, you got to celebrate these things. Thanks. Oh my goodness…the top of the list! What have you been up to?! Tsk tsk…on the naughty list…

      Liked by 1 person

  2. Congrats on 300! Round numbers. You’ve got to love them. I like the “snow” effect. It makes it look like you’re actually outside while looking at these pics. I saw the wx report for your corner of the country. Yeah, you guys are in for it. Just imagine if it was cold enough to be snow! You’d be stocking up on provisions in stead of blogging.

    I totally embrace the season for secular reasons. I love the music, the food, the lights, the days off, etc. New York City is all gussied-up with tinsel and glitter like a cheap, broken-down transvestite. I’m about to do my annual post about the store windows at Bergdorf Goodman. Created by artisans. They’re exceptionally good this year.


    1. Thanks, Mark. I suppose I could celebrate 301. Sure, why not! I’m still here, I guess that’s all that matters. So far, the storm isn’t that daunting, and it doesn’t feel that cold. You would probably think it’s quite pleasant, but maybe it’s just rolling in. I saw it on the screen, and it does look pretty big. It’s only snowed once since I’ve lived here and it was pure excitement and it melted before 9 am.

      I enjoy the all the lights and decorations. It does get you into the spirit of things. I have yet to do anything at home! I’ve done nothing. I look forward to the store windows post. Real artistry. No inflatables then?


  3. I’m not surprised to see my name on the Naughty list. Santa’s annoyed with me because I’m so behind in my Christmas prep. I was away last week so I have lots of catching up to do. But I promise Santa I’ll make it up to him. I’ll make whatever cookies he wants this weekend!

    Such a cute post. Loved it!


    1. Carrie, I should be on that list too. I’ve been really bad this year with the Christmas prep. You have an excuse, so maybe Santa will give you a pardon and take you off. Ha ha. Cookies. Yummy. That’s always gets me in the holiday spirit. Thanks! I glad you enjoyed it.

      Liked by 1 person

  4. Once the storm of the century passes, I think you should take your neighborhood stroll and see how all of these decorations survived.

    I have to laugh though at all this talk about this storm. Yes, it will be a significant storm, but in normal years, we get three or four of these. I guess a couple of years of drought can make people forget what the normal is. That said, I hope my fences stay up. 🙂

    Stay dry.


    1. Yesterday, Santa’s bed was already on its side. By now, he could be upside down. Who knows?!

      When I woke up this morning, I was unimpressed with this storm, but it has picked up some. There’s so much anticipation, right? It just seems it will only disappoint. We’ll see. I hope your fences stay up and everything is in one piece at the end of it. You too, stay dry!


      1. I’m one of those longtime Sacramento residents who marvels at all the worry this piddly little storm is causing. I’ll change my tune if my fences do in fact blow down.

        Apparently the deluge will hit in the next couple of hours and last the rest of the day.


      2. It wasn’t that big of a deal. Yes, the winds howled Wednesday night and Thursday morning. Yes, rain poured down Thursday afternoon, but it wasn’t that heavy for very long. When I got home from work yesterday, it was just perfect for going in a run in. So, I did that. In other words, thank you Storm of the Century. I got to run in the rain.


  5. Who has a peacock on their lawn at holiday time, or is this an NBC loyalist? I have only covered my friend, Milton’s presents. I have not gotten around to getting my siblings or niece their gifts. I relate to that inflated Santa power sleeping until noon.


    1. Everyone was at this party, V. Frog, mouse, snow men and women, angels, and the peacock! Milton gets presents, how nice. Tickets, perhaps? I’m quite behind myself. I need to get on it.


  6. A terrible state of affairs, Amy, Santa having a lie in like that, so close to his big day, and by the expression on his face he doesn’t seem to have a care in the world.
    He’ll get there for Christmas though… he usually does!

    Ho ho ho! to you!


  7. That was awesome! I always knew there was something amiss with all the gift making, one-night road trip taking, never missing a single child ever perfection.


    1. Thank you, Melanie! Exactly! It seems too good to be true, right? Just too perfect. Now we have the complete behind-the-scenes picture. That Santa is trouble. And his elves…so sneaky.


  8. 300th post, Amy – that’s awesome! Congratulations! In your honour, I’m going to dress up like Santa, get really drunk, and follow out of my front-lawn bed in the middle of the day.


    1. Thank you. I made it! Hey, I’m so honored, Trent. It’s sounds like a very lively evening. I hope it’s not snowing when you do that. Make sure to take a blanket with you.


    1. The storm was about 3 inches of rain! Whoopee! It was steady rain, but hardly something I would call the storm of the century. Some areas of California were harder hit though. I’ve never trusted that Santa, Michelle. And, thanks! I made it to another milestone, I suppose.


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