I tell you all the things you don’t want to hear,
say the things you cannot say.
You listen, rapt, clutching at your heartstrings
and available resources, but I smother you in a tight coil.
Suspended, immobile, you attempt to break
from my choke hold.
It’s no use.
In an abyss, you fall, dizzy, bereft.
I find you again, and
You reach out as you did before
Pushed and pulled, sucked in,
Persuaded by my disarming mood and your unfilled cravings.
This thing you cannot name,
eats and gnaws at your hollow insides until you are raw.
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Genre: Poetry (97 words)
Photo: Copyright: Douglas M. MacIlroy
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These bugs took me to this place. Many thanks to Rochelle Wisoff-Fields for leading this group every week, and to Doug for the photo.
Please visit the Link Up for stories from the talented Fictioneers. All are welcome to participate. Visit Rochelle’s page for details.
this is so beautiful and amazing blog!
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Thanks so much, Mihran.
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I really need to read more of your fiction and poetry posts. 😦 Well done!
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I very rarely do poetry, Mark! I made an attempt here and just went with it. I’d like to read your stuff, too. Thanks.
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I’d actually have to write something for you to be able to read it. 😉
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If you are interested, you should try Friday Fictioneers. It’s a great way to get the creative juices flowing!
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I might do that. Problem I have these days is that every new idea leads me to the same story — one that I’m not interested in writing.
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Oh, then you should definitely give this a shot! Perhaps, you should write a different story, or do you need to get that one out of your system?
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The last few short stories I have written have been about the same … theme. Every new idea I have leads to the same theme. I don’t want to go into that theme anymore. It’s too related to my own situation in life. I want to write something completely unrelated. How do I find Friday Fictioneers?
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Nice poem! I’m thinking this is not the most healthy of relationships you’re describing (that’s the way I read it).
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Thanks, Alistair. Good, I’m glad that came across for you.
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Dear Amy,
This sounds like a very codependent relationships. I once heard this referred to as ‘two ticks, no dog.” Nice verse.
Shalom,
Rochelle
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I like your reference. You just go around in circles in this kind of relationship. Thanks, Rochelle.
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Dear Amy,
Did you mean ‘cannot not name’ in the sentence towards the conclusion, or was it supposed to read ‘cannot name’?
What with auto-correct and other tech goodies nowadays it is hard to tell. I loved the tone and timbre of this piece. It speaks on many levels. Well done.
Aloha,
Doug
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Dear Doug,
Oh! It’s supposed to read “cannot name.” I tricked myself into writing cannot not name. Thanks, Doug, for asking. You get caught up sometimes and no longer see what you’ve written, and I have holidays on the brain! Thanks for the kind words.
Aloha,
Amy
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Nice work.
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Thanks, Adam.
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That’s an amazing statement of the power of one over another. There’s so much cruelty here in so few stanzas. Brutal stuff delicately expressed.
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I’m constantly amazed how cruel people can be to one another, especially in the name of power. Wow, such kind words. Thank you so much, Patrick.
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To me, its a tale of the black widow. I want to say “poor fella”.
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The black widow is a sly one. She gets what she wants. I’ll say that for her.
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I think you have described a very destructive relationship.. and yes in some case one of the persons can be the food of the other..
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Thanks, Bjorn. For some people, the only relationship they can have is a destructive one. Yes, indeed.
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The black widow is devious and sneaky. She will get you every time. Beware! Good story Amy, enjoy your week! Nan 🙂
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I stay clear of the black widow, Nan! Thank you. I hope you have a great week, too.
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This relationship sounds positively suffocating. There’s a thread of horror running through this as it applies to human relationships. It’s also pretty graphic as it relates to what’s going in the picture either. Well done Amy.
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Such insightful comments, Sandra. Thank you. I was hoping what you described came across. I didn’t feel like I did enough for it, but I did what I could at the time. I appreciate your comments!
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I wish those bugs could take me to a place that I could speak so eloquently about them. Creative, is not how they make me feel.
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Well, thank you for that, Michelle. I always try to be creative, but the thing I was thinking about was being powerless. Sure enough, if I see a bug, I usually scream! They seem to have that power over me. I’m hoping this relates to the greater sense of powerlessness.
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Wow…the toll some relationships can take. Powerful!
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Thank you so much!
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an abusive relationship that leaves one powerless and can’t let go. happens every day in some parts of the world.
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I’m sure that’s true, sadly. Thanks for your comments and for stopping by.
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I can hear the voice and words of a predator coming through very strongly in your poem. Disturbing stuff, and a good response to the prompt.
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I’m glad that came through for you. Thanks so much for your thoughtful comments, Margaret.
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Wonderful pacing and rhythm, Amy. Clearly you have a knack for poetry… too! Happy holidays!
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Thanks, Dawn. Oh, you’re too kind. Happy Holidays to you and your family, too!
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Not kind, honest. 😉
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Very powerful and a unique take on the prompt. Made me feel powerless! Great use of language, Amy.
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Thank you, Perry. Thanks for those kind and thoughtful words.
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Very well told piece of poetry. I very much appreciate a good flow whenever I read and this definitely has it!
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Thank you so much! That means a lot to me. I’m glad you enjoyed it.
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Fittingly creepy and chilling to me.
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Thank you, Frank. Thanks so much for reading. I appreciate it!
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A great description of a dysfunctional relationship, just the mixture of emotions, breaking away but never far or for long, filling a need but never sating.. Great job.
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Thank you, David. Thanks for your thoughtful comments. That’s exactly what I was trying to do.
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My favorite line was “Persuaded by my disarming mood and your unfilled cravings”
You gotta watch those cravings. They’ll get you into trouble every time.
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So true, Russell! Thank you so much. That’s probably my favorite line, too.
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Powerless, helpless – a tug of war. Great writing, Amy!
Lily
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Thanks so much, Lily!
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Amy, Lovely metaphors. Well writte. Happy Holidays to you and yours! 🙂 — Suzanne
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Thanks, Suzanne. Happy Holidays to you, too!
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Amy, that is extremely raw and an excellent bit of poetry.
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Thanks, Trent. I appreciate that. I wasn’t so sure myself.
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Szczęśliwego Nowego Roku 2015 – Happy New Year 2015
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Thanks, Marko! Happy New Year to you, too!
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