About a Girl
Genre: General (101 words)
Billy’s been hopping trains all his life. He knocked me over, dropping into my train. It’s how we met. We catch more trains on the fly than I can count.
I had only done boxcars until Billy. He taught me how to ride the rods, but it was me who kept him awake on a suicide ride. Riding with the wind at my back was all I needed.
Billy, he was looking for something else. Every town we stopped in, he had questions, said it was about a job.
If you asked me, it was about a girl. It always was.
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Thank you to Rochelle Wisoff-Fields for hosting the Friday Fictioneers and to Dawn for the photo. I love railroad tracks. We have many running through Folsom where I live.
I was inspired to take a picture:
Here’s a link to some history about freighthopping.
All are welcome to participate in this challenge to write a 100-word story based on the photo prompt. Please visit this page for instructions.
Read more stories from the Fictioneers here.
Yeah, it’s probably about a girl. 😉 I love the mood you set in this story and how it carries through what could seem like a depressing existence.
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Thanks, that’s what I was aiming for. I suppose it could depressing, but maybe exhilarating, too. Thanks so much for your comments.
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Caught me by surprise. I should have seen that coming.
Scott
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What a nice comment. It makes me think I did my job. Thanks, Scott.
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Well of course it was! He looks like he’s just about at that age where he’s realizing they’re not so bad after all! Not easy to keep it at 100 words – you did great again. Check your e-mail – I want to run something by you about your book 🙂
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Thanks, Kelly. Keeping it at 100 words is tough, but a great exercise. You should try it, Kelly. I think you’d really enjoy it. I’ll be looking for your email. 🙂
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I’ve been intending to – just always so buried with writing work presentations. Love to get off the health topic when I can! 🙂
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Just so you know, this prompt is open until Tuesday. The photo prompt is provided on a Wednesday and it’s open until the following Tuesday. But no pressure here from me. Do you what you need to do.
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At least the dog is loyal.
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A man’s best friend, so they say.
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Or, in this tale’s, a woman’s.
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In my story, they’re guys. I don’t really say who my narrator is. Perhaps I should find a way. Ah see, this is the challenge of a 100 words.
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Considering that it’s a woman walking alongside the tracks with the dog following I had the impression that he had ditched her for another woman leaving her to carry on alone.
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Oh, I see. My take is a little bit more detached from the picture. Just some guy searching for his girl. Maybe she left him at the tracks.
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Made me smile! Sounds more like a jealous lover to me 😛
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Thanks so much! Could be.
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There is something quite romantic and mysterious about old railroad tracks. We played on the tracks a lot when we were kids. We also shared cans of sphaghetti “O”s in the hobo camps where we could talk to real hobos riding the rails. They always fascinated me.
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I think railroad tracks are romantic for some reason, too. I can see that train hopping life being quite an adventure, although dangerous. Those guys were crazy. That’s cool you talked to real hobos with a can of spaghetti O’s. That’s perfect!
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We were kids. Times were different. Our doors were unlocked and open. Neighbours all looked out for each other’s kids. We weren’t yet taught to mistrust and fear other human beings who were less fortunate than we were. Of course we were fearless.
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It seems like so long ago, Michelle. We all live in fear of each other or least strangers. It’s very sad that these kinds of encounters probably can’t be repeated in today’s culture. I like that you were fearless!
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I really liked this, Amy. Very interesting spin on the photo!
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Thanks, Cathy.
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There’s always some girl in the picture…otherwise we’d go extinct. I like that you took your own photo for the mix.
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That is very true, Adam. We would go extinct if we didn’t make nice. Thanks, I took it yesterday just for fun.
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What a great story, Amy. I can feel the wistfulness coming out of Billie’s actions. As soon as I started this, I realized our stories could mesh together very nicely this week. It must have been because of that that I pictured the narrator as female, although you probably meant him to be a boy.
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Now that I’ve read your story, I see that they could mesh nicely. Maybe Billy is searching for Olivia. Ha! I did mean him to be a boy, just assuming that not many women freight hopped. I could be wrong, but just went with the flow in my head mostly. Now I could maybe revise that.
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Freight hopping would be an interesting way to travel. Hope he finds his girl.
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Indeed, Irene. Hopping trains seems kind of romantic, but I’m sure it was tough and dirty, not to mention dangerous. Me, too. Thanks.
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I think it sets up a kind of fun picaresque tale about the places they stop and the girls Billy meets, with the faithful dog bailing him out more than a few times. Nice tone to this piece
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The dog actually didn’t make into my story, although I suppose they could pick one up along the way. It’s two guy friends, but I see how this is so confused with the photo prompt. Drat!! Thanks for your nice comments, Perry!
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Very nice. A sad, wistful story about the search for love, but also a very appealing picture of friendship.
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Thank you, Margaret for those kind words. I’m so glad the picture of friendship came across, and the search for love is ongoing.
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As always, there could be a book or at least a short story in each of these wonderful flash fictions you write. Love it.
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Ah, love your comments. You’re so sweet, Jen. Thanks!
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I enjoyed this very much! It’s told in an authentic voice. I like the title, too 🙂
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Thank you, Jan. I hoped that it’s authentic sounding. That’s what I was going for. It’s hard when I haven’t heard it exactly, but I just gave it a go. 🙂 Good to see you back!
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I’m glad they have each other, Spending all your time train-hopping around the country sounds like a freeing experience but I bet it’s really quite a lonely life.
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Train hopping must have an adventure, but like you said, lonely. That’s a good word for it. Especially if you don’t know where your next meal is coming from. Thanks, Ali.
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Dear Amy,
I caught myself short of correcting your grammar when I realized it was part of the character who was narrating the story. Not overdone but enough to flavor your story. Very enjoyable.
Shalom,
Rochelle
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Ha! Yeah, it’s tricky trying to capture the tone and flavor. It probably could be a little bit more here. I thought I would give it a go anyway! Thanks so much, Rochelle.
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I felt the same way, Rochelle, especially about “than I count.” I so want to add “can” or “could.” 🙂
But I also enjoyed the story.
janet
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Oh, I didn’t notice that. I think it needs that, too. Thanks for the comment. I’m glad you enjoyed my story.
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I wasn’t sure if that was a colloquial-ism or a missed word. 🙂
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Hopefully, everyone else thought it was a colloquial-ism. 🙂 I probably had ‘can’ in there at some point. 🙂
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very nice. i hope he finds what he’s looking for. 🙂
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Thanks. There’s always hope. 🙂
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I liked the easy-going, almost reflective tone in this. Interesting article too.
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Thanks, Sandra. Thanks for your comments. They mean a lot to me.
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Amy, somehow I got the idea it was two guys on “the great adventure” that will end someday – girl or no girl. Well done, very winsome, this.
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The best part of your story is that it’s more different than some of the others I’ve read! 🙂
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I’ll take that. Thanks, Frank!
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The voice is perfect her Amy.. and for sure it had to be girls.
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Thank you, Bjorn. Isn’t is always about a girl? No matter when or where it is?
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What a life!
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I know, right?! It must have been such an adventure to train hop. Thanks, Dawn.
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I’m late to the show. Busy weekend and all. This was a beauty. ‘About a Boy’ was claimed by Nick Hornby years ago but this shook up my preconceived notion. What’s better than that? I’ll have more of that, please.
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Aww, thank you, Mark. So happy you stopped by. I needed to smile. 🙂
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More train hopping than train spotting then 🙂
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I saw that movie, but I didn’t realize that it’s a real hobbie. Yeah, this is hopping on and hoping for the best. Thanks for your comments. 🙂
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Dear Amy,
About a Girl was told in a voice that makes it ring with authenticity. It was imagined well and executed perfectly. Do you have a railroad near where you live? Where did you take the picture you added? I have a feeling you know a lot about railroads…suicide rides, riding the rods…it is a mark of one who knows, or one who has researched well. Either way, kudos to you.
Aloha,
Doug
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Dear Doug,
That picture is taken in the town of Folsom where I live. There’s a lot of history with the railroads here. They run all through town. They’ll never be used again probably, although there is talk of light rail, but they’ll never be torn out either. That makes me happy. I researched a bit for this story. It’s a fascinating subject. Thanks for your lovely comments.
Aloha,
Amy
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