This is the poem I read at my dad’s memorial service. Things came to me in little bits right after his passing and this is what I wrote. I thought I would be able to read this as opposed to a longer story. I was wrong. I cried after the first word and then continued with tears and long pauses. Anyway, I think my dad would have liked it.
For My Dad
Mossbeam you called me
Moss for Amos
Even though my name is Amy
Beam for the gymnast’s balance beam
My eyes beamed when you called me that
Euclida, my other name
For Euclid’s cousin it must have been
Shaking your head at me
when you helped with me maths
We laughed, I beamed hopeless eyes
Your first year of school
You said not a word
“I watched from a bench,”
you told me,
“Alone, and observed.”
Later, you are the master of words
and numbers both
Forever patient with your students
Teaching them to write the perfect sentence
A gift beyond measure
This one’s called “Take Five” you said
Snapping your fingers, tapping your toes
Brubeck, Miles and Count Basie, you’d sing
“It don’t mean a thing if you
ain’t got that swing”
Jelly beans, Whoopers,
Saturday Night Fever, too
Anything peach
You could whistle
any tune
Salami and cheese
always pleased
Silky Sullivan, your favorite horse
a crowd pleaser,
a winner coming from behind
Pool parties, keep away
and basketball
Trips to Corona Del Mar Beach
Roasting marshmallows
until after dark
I thought everyone did that
as a kid
I was wrong, I was lucky
To have you
as a my Dad
You taught me to accept
and to not judge
I thought everybody did that, too
You always lifted up the people
around you
You lifted me up
A boyish grin upon your face
A crafted pun up your sleeve
Even when us kids fought
You commented, “Look at how these good Christians love one another”
It may have been time for you to go
But not for me
I wanted another talk over a puzzle piece
One more laugh over a strawberry smoothie
It’s not to be
A thinker, a dreamer
Wherever you are
I know you are
shining bright
as a star
With love in your heart
a smile dancing
on your face
that twinkle in your eye
I will miss you, Dad
I think this is a great poem to have read for your Dad. I know I didn’t read anything at my mothers service. I did though write a letter which I left with her the night before her funeral. I took some photos of it but 2 years on I’m not ready to publicise it just yet 😦
Thinking of you Amy.
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Thanks, Stephen. I guess I wanted to do it for my dad. I’m sure he would have understood no matter what I did. I’ve written a few letters too since he died. I probably wouldn’t share them here. Some things are better left between two people. Thanks. 🙂
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Very touching. Thanks you for posting it:)
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Thanks, Trent. Thanks for reading it. 🙂
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I had a tear in my eye reading it and I didn’t even know him! I’m sure it really touched everyone who did.
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Oh, thanks. I cried when I posted it just now. Oh, yes. I’m not sure how people responded, I could’t even look up, Trent. Later, people said they enjoyed it though.
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Your father would have loved it. An honest and heartfelt poem.
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Thanks so much, J.D. I like to think it made him smile and laugh, like he always doing.
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That’s a lovely, very touching poem.
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Thank you, Ali.
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This is beautiful, Amy. Not only did you honor him at his funeral by writing and reading the poem, you honored him by letting us get to know him through your words.
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Thank you, Carrie. I’m touched that you feel this way. I’m missing him a lot and looking for some brightness. He made a lot of people laugh. He was a wonderful human being.
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Amy, I love this.
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Thanks so much, Honie. I’m glad you enjoyed it.
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Hello sweetheart – You articulated your feelings so beautifully in this. Another step toward acceptance and peace. You certainly were fortunate to have a dad like that.
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Thank you, dear friend. It feels good to share fond memories. I need to focus on that more. I was very lucky. He was a bright light for many.
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Sure sounds like it. I know it sounds cliche’, but just like the stories you write, life too, has a beginning, a middle, and an end. It’s the same for all of us. And you’re right – focus on your wonderful memories you have and be thankful for his life. 🙂
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It’s not cliche’ at all, Kelly. It’s just the truth. All life ends one day. No one lives forever. but it’s still so hard to accept. Thanks…yes, the good memories! That will get me through.
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And I’m going to remember this when my own dad passes someday – I know sharing this experience with you will give me strength.
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Honestly, I received so much support and strength from my blogging buddies. It’s just words, but you know everyone here knows that they can come from a deep place and they understand. So, when the time comes, I do hope you will share. I recommend it. 🙂
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this is beautiful – I am sure your dad was looking down and you and beaming with pride. I am impressed you were able to read the whole thing. A beautiful tribute.
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Thank you. Aww, I hope he was beaming, I got through it somehow with my husband standing at my side. It was pretty tough.
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Very nice Amy! 🙂
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Thanks!
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Your poem is a lovely tribute to your Dad, Amy. I feel honoured that you shared it with us. It gave me the opportunity get to know your Dad a wee bit and to understand the closeness between you. Hugs to you. Take care of yourself.
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Thank you, Michelle. Here are the first thoughts that came to me about my dad that I could form into a poem. It is my pleasure to share it with you. Hugs to you. I’ve been thinking of you and hope you’re okay. How are you doing? xo
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Thanks, Amy. My sister’s funeral is finally on
Wednesday. It will be a long day but I will be regrouping after that. I’ve been swamped with work from my biggest client that will end come May and then nothing until September from them. I’ve also been nursing a broken toe so in short I’m…as usual…a hot mess. Will I ever catch up on reading my favourite blogs?
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The blogs aren’t going anywhere, so don’t worry about that. I’m so sorry, Michelle. If there’s anything at all I can do, please let me know. I’m sorry about your toe. That doesn’t help anything. Bad toe. As people tell me, take time out to care for yourself, too. Hugs to you!!
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You painted many lovely pictures of your father with your heartfelt verse, Amy. The stanza that resonated most with me was this one:
I thought everyone did that
as a kid
I was wrong, I was lucky
To have you
as a my Dad
When I was a kid, I thought everyone had parents like mine. I sure thought wrong there and I realized that I was lucky. I’m glad that you also had such a kind and loving dad.
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Thank you, V. I’m glad you feel that way, too. It’s a good feeling.
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So personal and touching. Big hugs Amy.
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Thanks, Vanessa. Hugs!
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I love this tribute! Especially this part:
I thought everyone did that
as a kid
I was wrong, I was lucky
To have you
as a my Dad
What a blessing to have had such a wonderful spirit in your life…
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Oh, you’re not the only one who liked that part! Yes, I am lucky for such a wonderful spirit. Well said. Thank you, Sandee.
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Very beautiful Amy. A wonderful heartfelt poem for you Dad. I know he’s smiling right now.
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Thank you, Brigitte. I hope so!
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Beautiful.
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Thanks so much, Dawn. Thanks for taking the time to read it. I know you’ve been busy (and in a good way, right? Congrats to you and your article!)
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Not too busy for friends, Amy, and for such an important post! but yes, it’s been a crazy ass day! In a good way… 😉
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I’m glad you shared this wonderful picture of your Dad. Your words are beautiful
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Aww, thanks so much, Audra. I’m glad you enjoyed it.
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This was beautiful Amy. Hold onto it and treasure it always.
I have the speech I made at my dad’s funeral as it like your poem contains the memories I most treasure about him…..
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Thanks, Michael. I will hold on to it. I bet your tribute to your father is a treasure for you and for all who heard it.
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Like you I was very pleased with it…
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That’s wonderful, Michael. It will be something to hold on to for the rest of our lives.
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This is so beautiful, Amy. I feel like I know your Dad well from your verse of honor. This is the sort of tribute that only the best of parents can get at their service, from the best of children. Your Dad you to think and write well, my friend Amy. I cannot imagine there was a dry eye with you that day.
Thank you for honoring us all with sharing this poem here today. I send my condolences, still, as you feel better little my little and return to everyday life but no doubt miss him every day.
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Oh, you’re so sweet, Mark. I didn’t even look up when I read this, Mark, so I really don’t can’t say how people responded. There were lots of tears that day. That much I know. It’s my pleasure to share it. Every day is a little different, some okay, some not. I definitely miss him everyday. Thanks so much for your comments. They mean a lot to me.
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Hang in there, Amy. My mom went in June, my dad in December, of 2004 both, with heart attacks at the ages of 65 and 66. Shocker for my siblings and I. We got through it day by day, then month by month, and now here we are.
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Oh, Mark. I’m so sorry. That must have been terribly hard to lose them both during the same year. I am grateful I still have my mother and cherish every moment now. My dad, I think I said it…died of a heart attack as well and I didn’t get to say goodbye. I always envisioned that he would die of heart attack, but I thought he would be in the hospital and that I could say goodbye to him. I guess we don’t have anything to say about how someone will leave us. It is out of our control. It’s so hard when one day they are there and the next, gone. Such a huge shock. I can see that’s what it will take…a day by day recovery. Thank you for sharing and for being here for me.
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As with your shock and horror, we had no advance warning for either, no goodbyes, just the dreaded phone calls that every adult kid worries about receiving. Be well, Amy. I’m at markbialczak@gmail.com if you need a sounding board ear, ever, any time.
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Thank you, Mark.
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Thank you for sharing your father with us. As the Mark just above me says … I feel honored to have read this. The things you share about him paint a picture with words that is completely filled in with the goodness that was him. And that’s a good thing for you to hold on to and to share with others.
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How wonderful that you feel honored. I’m just happy for people to read it. It is a dear thing to hold on to and share with you and others. That’s such a nice sentiment you share – “a picture with words that is completely filled in with the goodness that was him.” Oh, that makes ms smile. Thank you, Mark.
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That was a truly beautiful and heartfelt poem, Amy. Brought tears to my eyes as next month it will be the second anniversary of my dad’s passing… Writing about our losses really helps (I know it did me, for both my dad and my husband) and the blogging community really rallied around me and sent me love… As we are doing for you now! xoxo
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Thank you, Dale. Oh, the tears just come, don’t they? It has helped me tremendously to share here, to not feel so alone and that so many share in this experience of deep loss. It has helped me tremendously when people, like you, have reached out with kindness and an open heart. Again, if there’s anything I can do for you, please holler. Thanks for being here for me. xoxo
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And same for you! A simple holler away! Xoxo
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Thanks, Dale.
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Hi Amy. I’m so glad you posted your poem for Dad. Of course, I was there when you read it, and it was such a wonderful tribute to him, so true and beautifully written. If he was able to hear it, I am sure he was so proud of you, as I was. Thinking of you a lot these days.
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Thanks, sis. I like to think he heard it, right? Always thinking of you, too. I love you.
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Amy,
It’s not hard to imagine someone crying over these words—the many references. What he did, what he meant to you, and how rare he was, brightening the day however he could… It is very touching. You are blessed with your ability to write this, though it must have really tugged on the heart. It makes me even more sure that he’s darn proud. …Okay, so he was part of how you learned to write. But I guess with that he’s with you always, writing this, writing here, which makes these words so true and heartfelt. A wonderful tribute.
Adam
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Oh, Adam, thank you so much. Thanks for these wonderful words for me. My father was a giving and accepting human being. To honor him, I want to be a better person. Death has a way of forcing me to view life through a new set of lenses. I’m hoping he heard these words somehow and hope that he’s proud of me. He was an English professor, but mostly we did math together. 🙂 He loved words, too, something passed on to me. Thanks so much for being here, Adam, and offering such kind remarks. I’m so touched.
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I’d think death would force anyone to view life through new lenses.
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It sure does, Adam.
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A beautiful, loving tribute to someone so very important to you, Amy. He knows…
Hugs,
Cathy
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Thanks so much, Cathy. I’m glad you liked it. Oh, I hope so…
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Nice work, Amy. Hope this helps the time pass a little less painfully. This makes me wish I’d had a dad who gave a damn. It makes me want to be a better dad for my daughters.
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Thank you, Mark. I have days that feel okay and others when I feel quite sad. I don’t know how I’ll feel one day from the next. My community here has really helped me so much. My dad was wasn’t perfect and no one is. We are all flawed. His death has made me look at my own life, too. Each day is a new opportunity to make mindful choices to make each day count, for my kids and for others in my life. I try to do better, too. Because one day it is over…I like this quote – If it doesn’t nourish your soul, get rid of it.
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Yep … He loved it. I hope you realize (and I say this in a good way), this poem is also a tribute to you. Well done, Amy … way to deliver from your heart.
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Thank you, Frank. I hope so. What wonderful thoughts you have. They made me smile.
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Amy: That Frank is good like that… isn’t he? Stop blushing Frank, it’s true… you are a sweetheart!
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That was beautiful, Amy. I could see him through your words. Especially remembering that mischievous twinkle always dancing in the corner of his eye.
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Beautiful poem, Amy. You really captured his essence; i could see him through your words–especially remembering that mischievous twinkle always dancing in the corner of his eye. Hang in there. Grief is a long process but you have to face it to get through it. Poetry is a great way to honor the pain and fierce joy that process evokes.
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Thanks, histrionika, for your lovely words and comments. Grief is a process, I agree. And then there’s the realization this person is no longer there. That is truly painful. I must keep writing poems. 🙂
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The love is radiating, Amy. Beautiful.
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Thanks so much, Brenda.
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This is beautiful; so bittersweet. I cried, too; my whole life misses my dad. *Eats corn on the cob for breakfast.*
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Thank you. Oh, I’m sorry. Both our lives misses our dads. Let’s go get some corn now. 🙂
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May I join you? Mine will have been gone two years this May and I stil want to pick up the phone to tell him this or that… 🙂
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Oh, yes! There’s enough corn for everyone, Dale. Please join us. I guess in some ways, it’s a good thing we always remember even though it is painful. It keeps the spirit of our loved ones alive in our hearts. Hugs to you.
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Yeah! We’ll cheer each other up and laugh as we tell each other’s stories!
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Earlier today I thought I need to laugh a lot more. So, yes!
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Very sweet
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Thank you, Crissy.
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This one got me teary eyed, Amy. Here’s one I wrote about seeing my Dad in a dream. He died 5 days after his 95th birthday.
THE VISIT
I hadn’t thought about you for a while
Until I saw you again last night
You were so young and active
And we had such a wonderful time
We did all the things we used to enjoy,
And even some that I’d forgotten
We smiled, and laughed, and carried on
Like there was no tomorrow
Your hair was dark, your wit was keen
With that ever present sense of humor
It took me back to days gone by
Like a long and distant summer
I can’t remember what we talked about
It was really not important
I was just glad we were together
To share a few precious moments
Much too soon we had to part
I found myself fading out and in
Of that halfway land between awake and slumber
Only to realize it was just a dream
But that doesn’t diminish the joy I felt,
And I know you must have felt it too.
I love you Dad. I miss you Dad.
Come and visit again…real soon
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Beautiful, Russell!
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What a beautiful poem, Russell. I wonder if everyone is a younger version of themselves when they die, when they felt most alive maybe or happy. That’s the way I would think to see my dad…no dreams yet. How wonderful that your dad lived such a long life. That’s amazing. This too was moving – I can’t remember what we talked about/It was really not important – because in the end it’s just spending that time together. It doesn’t matter where or how. I hope he still visits you in your dreams. I believe that loved ones do come to us in dreams. Call me crazy! I think it’s as real as anything. Thanks you for sharing this with me.
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That’s so beautiful Amy.
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Thank you, Dawn.
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So sweet Amy… thank you for sharing it with us. I am so sorry for your loss. The days ahead will be difficult but not for long. They will soften into the sweetness of the special memories you had with your dad… looks like they may have already started 🙂
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Thank you, Courtney. Thanks for your thoughtful comments. I hope you’re right. Some days are okay now, but still very sad he’s not here. I miss him. Thanks for reading.
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