It’s time for Friday Fictioneers, a weekly challenge where writers across the globe attempt to write a 100-word story based on a photo prompt. Thanks to Rochelle Wisoff-Fields and her generous leadership and to Santoshwriter for supplying this week’s photo.
All are welcome to participate. Join in! Here are instructions.
And now my story:
Genre: Fantasy (100 words)
The Mist Arrives
Citizens of Edgewater stopped in mid-sentence, their bakery orders left unfilled and their stories left untold, as they fled for cover. Shutters slammed shut with cracks and crevices sealed tight.
Spray escaped from the sea in gentle hiccups, collecting in drops, and lifted like a curtain from the watery, bottomless depths. In one breath, an island cloud pushed forward, rising above the cliffs and past the port of boats sloshing in waves of rolling glass hills.
“Get back. Run.”
Alana perched on a rock like a bird inspecting her prey, her emerald eyes, jewels of wisdom. She was never afraid.
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Very atmospheric. And the fact that we don’t know why the mist is to be feared makes it all the more fearful. Well done.
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Thank you, Sandra I’d like to think the mist is a bit mysterious, so thanks for your feedback.
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I wonder what the mist brings with it? Something scary I reckon.
I loved “rolling glass hills” to describe the waves.
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Something from the depths perhaps. I’m going to work on this one, Ali. Thanks so much for the kind words.
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Mist to spark the imagination, the rest left up to the imagination…
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I’m glad there was a spark, Adam. Thank you.
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Holy cow. I love this!! It’s like a teaser on a book jacket. It tells you what the book is going to unravel for you. And now I want to read this book. Where is this book?! “…like a bird inspecting her pray…” Perfection.
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Wow. Thanks so much, Jen!! Thanks for your enthusiasm. I really appreciate it. This has been brewing for a little while. I’m so thankful for these water drops on the leaf. It’s just what I needed to stir up some visuals around this. We shall see. If there’s a book, believe me, I’ll let you know. 🙂
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That was fantastic! I agree with jgroeber…
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Thank you, Dale! I’m so happy you enjoyed it.
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Very much so!
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You’ve written something very sensual, in the way that it fills the senses. We feel the mysterious mist. I love that it “hiccups.” Wow. Perfect word. We see her perching. We feel the people’s fear and her eerie calm. Amazing.
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Lorna, thank you so much for all these kind words! Wow. I’m delighted and touched by your thoughtful comments. Glad you enjoyed it.
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I certainly did! 🙂
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Suspenseful
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Thank you. I’m glad that came across.
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Beautiful choice of words to set the tone, Amy. Now, all we need is some theme music and we’d have Alfred Hitchcock running for cover.
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Thank you. Ah, I love it. You’re right. Music is what we need, something we dark shadows. I’ll get to work!
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Love this – love the imagery with the sea. Got the sense that Alana was perched high over the water – like she’s some sort of creature. Don’t know if I’m on the same page as you are, but my imagination was spinning with this one! 🙂
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Thank you, Kelly. I love to hear that your imagination was spinning. That’s all that counts!
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Reminds of that creepy Stephen King film The Mist. The film wasn’t much good but the original story was great. Anything that reminds me of King has to be excellent!! Nice one.
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Is that the one when they are stuck in the store? I think I saw the movie, so I definitely want to check out the story. That’s high praise, indeed! Thanks, JD!
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Spray escaped from the sea in gentle hiccups – Oh so very good!
The action in this is both sharp and gentle, and, even though you mention nothing about scents, I can smell the sea. Well done.
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Thanks so much, Alicia. I’m glad all this came across for you. I’m thrilled!
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you leave me breathless with anticipation. just wondering what happens next.
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Thanks, Plaridel. What a lovely comment. Glad you enjoyed it.
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I love how you froze Edgewater in that moment against the stormy sea and have placed Alana looking down on it all. Just great, Amy!
Ellespeth
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Thanks, Ellespeth. Thanks for that great feedback. I’m glad you enjoyed it!
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Very atmospheric and mysterious. I love your descriptive language, and I want to know about Alana. Will she save the village?
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Thanks for your lovely, thoughtful comments, Margaret. Alana has power. I know that much.
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This remind me of a horror film I watched when young, dead pirates came with the mist, and shutting the door made perfect sense…
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Was it “The Fog”? That would make sense to shut the door. But would it be enough?
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Oooooo, intriguing. I like this one and kinda wish there was more!
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Mysterious tone…intriguing
I’m always amazed at the creativity you all at FF come up with in only 100 words. I’m really impressed.
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Thanks, Audra. It’s always a challenge, but I really enjoy it. I think it helps my writing a lot. I bet you’d be good at it!
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Tempting to try but I’d stink
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Never. That would never happen.
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Hmm, very intriguing, Amy. I immediately thought of the mist as a harbinger of horror, and I guess the people in the town did too. Is Alana a character you have used before? I can’t remember offhand. She sounds like an interesting character.
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Thanks, David! The mist is definitely something to be feared. I saw the picture in my mind quite clearly, so my challenge for myself was to translate it into words. Alana has never made an appearance. I’m glad you found her interesting.
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Very dramatic! I’m running for cover. I’m a bit of a coward.
Lily
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Thanks, Lily. Me too. I’d rather be safe than sorry.
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Dear Amy,
This feels like it could be the beginning of a larger work. At any rate you had me running for cover and then wondering why Alana isn’t afraid. Well done.
Shalom,
Rochelle
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Yes, quite possibly it could be a bigger story. I’m just concentrating on the mist arriving, trying to capture that. Thanks so much, Rochelle.
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Very atmospheric with a sense of impending doom. Nicely done.
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Great use of many water references! 🙂
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Yes, there is definitely that, Frank. Thanks! I hope it conjured up some images for you.
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I’m wondering why Alana’s not afraid. There must be some ancient tale about the mist and what it brings. Sounds alien. Well done, Amy. Good tension. 🙂 — Suzanne
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Thanks, Suzanne. Thanks for your feedback. I’m glad you enjoyed it!
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You nailed this one. This story creeps into the imagination and expands like the mist.
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Thanks for the kind words, Melanie. I appreciate it.
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