Boy on a Train – Friday Fictioneers

Friday Fictioneers is a weekly Link-up. Writers from around the globe attempt to write a 100-word story based on a photo prompt. Today’s photo was supplied by Kent Bonham. A big thank you goes out to our lovely hostess, Rochelle Wisoff-Fields.

I think this is a picture of a train station. I could be wrong, but that is my inspiration here. You may have heard of the popular novel, Girl on a Train. Well, here’s “Boy on a Train.”

PHOTO PROMPT – © Kent Bonham

Genre: Thriller (100 words)

Boy on a Train

He sat in the corner of the railcar, wearing his leather jacket and usual scruff.

When passengers cleared, Lily edged closer and settled across from him. “I know you. Was it a class? Or is it Une Petite Tasse? ” He nodded. “You know it?”

“I don’t go there.”

Except he went there yesterday and the day before; he followed her scent. Last time he checked, it was J’adore. She liked to dab it between her thighs before she left in the morning.

He stood and whispered, “Goodbye, Lily.”

She froze to the screech of steel. She’d never introduced herself.


More stories from the Fictioneers can be found here.

68 thoughts on “Boy on a Train – Friday Fictioneers

  1. Dear Amy, Oooooh! She is so lucky to have realized his slip (maybe it wasn’t a slip) but she may be very cautious around him in the future. Great Story! I literally shivered when I read that sentence – he has already done his investigation and knows her name. YIKES! Great story! Nan


    1. Thanks so much, Nan. I appreciate your enthusiasm. So thrilled you enjoyed it!! In the context of a bigger story, I think he would do it intentionally. Thanks for stopping by!


  2. Ooh, creepy stalker. She needs to watch her step – at least she’s noticed his slip, or was it intentional – is he trying to get into her head?


  3. Creepy with tension & a dab of intrigue. The “screech of steel” …. Yikes!

    PS: If all goes as planned, early next week I’ll post a challenge I think you’ll enjoy.


    1. Dab of intrigue. Oh, I like how you phrased that, Frank. 🙂 Oh, will it be fiction? I’m always up for a challenge. I’ll be looking out for it. Thanks for the heads up.


  4. Good thriller. I think this photo has helped many of us reach deep into the recesses of our creativity, and the ambiguity of the location has made for some excellent diversity this week. Nice work, as usual, Amy.

    All my best,


    1. Thanks so much, Sandra. So happy to hear that. I’m not sure what all the fuss is over that book! I was pretty disappointed by the end. I liked her idea but something really fizzled.

      Liked by 1 person

  5. Dear Amy,

    You gave just enough information to make me gasp at the ending with Lily. Subtle and chilling. One of your best.

    The photo is actually a shoe store in Israel, but that doesn’t matter. It’s what you saw that matters, right? Of course, right! 😉




    1. Rochelle, why thank you. I could see expanding this one. That’s what I love about FF. I never know what I’ll write or what I’ll see in the picture. 🙂 Shoe store, huh? I definitely wouldn’t have written this story had I known. Thanks for your lovely comments.


  6. Someone should have told Lily not to speak to strangers on trains. She’s living dangerously. Very unsettling story. Well built tension and great ending.


    1. Lily should know better, but apparently, she didn’t get the memo about talking to strangers. Thanks for your lovely comments, Margaret. It’s always great to hear your thoughts.


  7. Yeech, this is scary, and the screeching steel is just adding that last little touch that makes it come to life.


    1. Oh, I think he definitely has intentions, Bjorn. I’m not sure she’ll be riding the train by herself any longer…or maybe she will. Thanks for your comments. 🙂


  8. First of all, I wouldn’t befriend someone squatting in the corner of a train, That’s risky behavior. She better find someone to accompany her from now on or not go. He’s scary. The policemen wouldn’t be able to do anything at this point so she’s on her own. Well done, Amy. 🙂 — Suzanne


    1. Lily is far too trusting. I think I got you a little spooked. Did I? I think I did my job then. Thanks for your kind comments, Suzanne. I appreciate it. 🙂


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