Cooped Up – Friday Fictioneers

This week marks Rochelle Wisoff-Fields‘s third anniversary with the Friday Fictioneers. Congratulations, Rochelle! Hats off to her leadership and dedication she has given to this group. I enjoyed this community and have watched it grow, not only in number, but in the strength of its writing. I want to say thanks to everyone for making it such a great part of my writing journey. September marked three years with this group, and I was having so much fun I didn’t even realize it. Yay!

As allowed, I re-running a story. The timing couldn’t be better as I have a busy couple of days ahead. I promise I will get to reading stories. However, it may have to wait until the weekend. It’s kind of nice to come back to a story and think, “Yeah, I liked this story.” It’s a nice feeling. I just changed one word, even though I’m over the 100-word limit.

copyright-ron-pruitt
PHOTO PROMPT © Ron Pruitt

(105 words)

Cooped Up 

Sweat, soap, aftershave, and a piercing, spicy floral pervaded the air. I slid my way down the aisle, each step unveiling a nod, a smile, or a distant gaze.

The promise of a sixteen-hour journey influenced my choice of a traveling companion.  I sat next to an elderly lady with her head in a book, hoping I might pass the time with sleep. Directly across from me sat a man with a cage hidden under a towel. Wisps of feathers escaped onto the grimy floor.

Cluck. Cluck. He shook the cage and offered me a toothy grin. Am I the only one who’s hearing this?

********************

My original story can be found here.

For more stories from the Fictioneers, click here. 

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52 thoughts on “Cooped Up – Friday Fictioneers

  1. Traveling with a chicken or something more sinister? 🙂 With a FF story, one never knows. I did a re-run, too, Amy, and it IS nice to find you like what you wrote originally. I’ve been doing too little writing recently. Have to get back to it.

    janet

    Liked by 1 person

  2. The bus will be delightfully fragrant after sixteen hours cooped up with a chicken. I like this one, it has a real atmosphere, and the line about ‘each step unveiling a nod, smile or distant gaze’. Very well observed, the whole of it. Well done Amy.

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  3. Dear Amy,

    Dale took the thought right out of my head. I thought of MASH also and found myself wondering if it was really a chicken. 😉 Cooped up is right. That’s going to be one helluva bus ride.

    I’m happy you’ve stayed on the Friday Fictioneers bus. 😀

    Shalom,

    Rochelle

    Like

    1. Dear Rochelle, I haven’t though about MASH in a long time. I want to watch the episode now. 🙂 Definitely cooped up, but not on the Fictioneers bus. It’s been real pleasure, Rochelle. 😀
      Thanks again for all you do. I truly appreciate it.

      Like

    1. I can always respond to your comment on Fridays? How’s that for a compromise? Ha ha. Please don’t jump through a window. Jeez! I didn’t know my stories had such an impact on you.
      Oh yes, I’ve had the pleasure of a long bus trip. No fun. Haven’t done it in a long time, but I remember it.

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  4. It sounds like a bus in some foreign country. I don’t know if they allow animals on buses in the U.S. Unless the guy is a friend of the driver. After a while that would probably start to smell. I hope the chicken doesn’t have lice.as I’ve heard that chicken lice bite. Good story, Amy. Well done. 🙂 — Suzanne

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    1. Suzanne, I think he’s trying to get away with it by having it covered. I have a feeling it’s not going to last long. The smell would definitely be a give away. Thank you, Suzanne. Thanks for reading.

      Like

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