It’s time for Friday Fictioneers. The challenge is to write a 100-word story based on a photo prompt. Thank you to our lovely hostess, Rochelle Wisoff-Fields, and to J. Hardy Carroll for this week’s magical photo.
All are welcome to join in the fun. Visit the Friday Fictioneers page for details.
(100 words)
Linger
Mowed lawns and watering schedules marked time at Lakewood Cemetery. For Tabitha and Elsa, it was burial plots turned with fresh soil.
“Wait until they leave at least,” Elsa said, behind a tree.
“She looked nice.” Tabitha picked up a bouquet and twirled. “Such lovely flowers. She must be loved.” She stomped on the gravestone.
“It’s her time to rest, Elsa. Be patient.”
Tabitha lay her head in Elsa’s lap, and stared up at her mirror image of blond curls and soft, pink lips. “I’m tired of being patient. When will Mom and Dad get here?”
“There, there. Soon, sister.”
************
For more stories for this prompt, visit the Linkup.
AmyReeseWrites 
Wonderful! That’s a great image, and you took it to a perfect place.
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Thanks, Carrie! I’m glad you thought so. I struggled with a number of ideas before settling on this one, so thanks. 🙂
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I think you’ve got some Stephen King in you. Maybe you need to write a horror novel. Boo!
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Ha! Yes, it’s those twins again! They must have been lingering in my subconscious. I’d love to write a horror novel. 🙂
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Very nicely done.
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Thank you!
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LOVE this, Amy! Agree with Carrie… kind of spooky… you are really good with that genre! 🙂
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Thank so much, Kelly! I enjoy the spooky so long as it’s not real. 🙂
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Yep! Let’s keep it in our stories only!
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Hi Amy. My mistake ! It’s linger ….. not lingerie. Must get some glasses ….. for the wine ! 😉 xox ❤
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Ha ha. Very clever, Ralph. You’re close, but….enjoy your wine! xox
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I think it’s a beautiful ghost story, a bit spooky but not scary. Or maybe it’s scary to think that the dead, if there was an afterlife, couldn’t move on with their life after death. For the family, though, it may be a comforting thought. Depending on the family… sorry for the rambling. I guess there’s room for horror after all. OO
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No need to apologize, Gah. I enjoy your thoughts. I actually didn’t intend for this to be horror, although I can certainly see it has that potential. I want people to interpret it for themselves however they like. Thanks for your comments. 🙂
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This is like a teaser for a deep and dark story! Love it.
Visit Keith’s Ramblings!
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Thanks so much, Keith! Glad you enjoyed it. I think it could be very dark, indeed.
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Good stuff, Amy. I wonder what sort of wonders they’re missing out on while waiting for Mom and Dad to show up.
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Thanks, Adam. It’s hard to say, but I’m betting they have access to just what that is.
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This was fabulous! I so love where you took it. Beautifully written.
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Dale, thanks so much for the kind words! Glad you enjoyed it.
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“It’s her time to rest”
Do the newly dead need to rest? It makes sense to me and I love the child POV.
T
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I bet it would be a shock to have all that rest, but maybe at first. Great! I was hoping the child POV came through. Thanks, Tracey.
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I think it was disturbing, rather than dark or horrific, and there was just the right amount of … boredom … impatience… imbued in Tabitha. Quite sad – well done.
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Thanks for your feedback, Sandra. I guess it’s the other side of dying young. We always think about the poor parents, which being a parent, I don’t know how I’d survive that. I guess here’s the other side.
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Quite a sad story I thought, but sort of “sadly-lovely” as they’re waiting to be all together again.
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Yes, I think it’s a mixed bag of emotions. I know one thing. They can’t seem to move on. Thanks!
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This has a bitter sweet quality that “sticks.” Well done.
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Thanks so much, Alicia. Glad it stuck. 🙂
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Their poor parents – to lose both of them.
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That would be so terribly sad. I can’t imagine continuing to live. Thanks for your comments.
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Really like where you took this one, Amy. The dialogue is very realistic, capturing the child’s voice, and the story gave me a chill. So many things it leaves me with…nicely done!
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Thanks so much for your lovely comments, Dawn. I’m glad it left you with a little something. I guess it lingered. Ha ha. I think it could go in many directions from this point.
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A very touching story Amy.
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Thanks, Dawn.
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Spooky, but also very sweet. The ending brings up all kinds of emotions. Nice job.
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Thanks so much, Perry. I didn’t really intend to have spooky and sweet, so I’m just glad it happened that way. Who knows what will happen if their patience runs out.
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Dear Amy,
A different take on the prompt well done. I agree with Perry, spooky and sweet.
Shalom,
Rochelle
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Thanks, Rochelle. Glad you liked it. What about waiting on the other side? I like to think it’s just true bliss, but what if it’s not that simple.
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Reading it through the children’s conversation, I did not find it sad nor spooky. They seem playful and caring for each other. But then I am one who sees and feel ghosts. Now if the parents were telling their story……
Lily
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Thanks for the feedback, Lily. Perhaps it was the idea of twins that called forth the horrific images of “The Shining” twins. I think this could be a dark story, but as it stands, it is more caring and sensitive. It’s a bit sad in that they are waiting for their parents to die. That could seem a bit spooky, I suppose. Thanks for reading.
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I like how you misled us with the children’s voices – they’re so authentic, just like mischievous children waiting for the adults to go so they can play. And I really like the idea of time being marked for these two by the freshly turned soil. Well told.
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Thanks so much for your kind words, Margaret! It means a lot to me.
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I just love the way you add the ‘spook’ to your stories, Amy. Well done 😀
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Thanks so much, Dianne. It might be a fun one to develop.
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I think the matter-of-factness of the language makes it all the spookier.
Good piece.
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Thanks, Mick. I think kids do speak pretty frankly at times. They say it like it is. I’m glad I could capture that!
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Lovely take on the prompt. I wonder what those two little minxes get up to when their parents do visit their grave.
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Thanks so much, Sarah. It’s hard to say. I think they’ll think of something to get themselves into trouble.
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Good description, Amy. This reminded me a bit of the old movie, “Our Town” where the ghosts were talking to each other and rememvbering their lives and the loved ones they left behind. Well done. —- Suzanne
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Sounds like an interesting movie, Suzanne. Glad you enjoyed my story.
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Oh I DID like this story! Well done 🙂
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Thanks so much. Glad you liked it. 🙂
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