Chateau de Longing – Friday Fictioneers

It’s time for Friday Fictioneers, a weekly writing group. The challenge is to write a 100-word story based on a photo prompt. Thank you to Rochelle Wisoff-Fields for hosting and to C.E. Ayr for the this week’s photo.

If you would like to participate, follow this link for instructions. All are welcome.

My story has two interwoven narratives; one from the son and the other is from the mother in the past. It may not be clear, but that’s my idea. Let me know what you think.

PHOTO PROMPT – © ceayr
PHOTO PROMPT – © ceayr

(100 words)

Chateau de Longing

Merv fretted and tidied miscellaneous piles of paper. They still owed on the computer that died. “Another sale bites the dust. That place is immaculate. Now it’s below market.”

Orange blossoms softened the air. He rubbed her feet as they sipped on Turkish coffee at first light of a sleepless night. 

“We have no control. We can’t force her out,” said Lisa.

Under a shimmering, bejeweled sky, he whispered, “Wait for me.”

“She wanders up and down the hall in various stages of undress. Sometimes nothing at all,” Merv said.

“What?” Lisa asked.

“My mother has officially lost her mind.”

********************

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58 thoughts on “Chateau de Longing – Friday Fictioneers

  1. Orange blossoms softened the air. I could actually feel and smell this. Made me want to be in a warmer climate wearing a swimsuit (a very scary thought for those around me) sipping something cold with an umbrella in it.

    And, on that note, I love where you took the prompt ~ or where it took you. Ditto what MJ said.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Ooh, I like where this took you, Alicia. I’ll join you sipping from an umbrella drink. Thanks so much for your thoughtful comments. I always appreciate you taking the time. 🙂

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  2. Oooh, nice, Amy! This has a very mysterious feel to it–– the atmosphere and tension, of this woman in “various stages of undress.” I could definitely see this being expanded; it really pulled me in, and you built tension and setting beautifully! love it!

    Liked by 1 person

  3. Beautiful, Amy. Loved the interwoven thoughts. Love the twist at the end! So much going on in so few words! I think this piece really reflects your writing skill.
    I’ve never made or had Turkish coffee, have you? Hope you have a lovely Sunday! xo

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thanks so much, Kelly. That’s why I keep practicing here. I like to experiment a bit when I can. I’m glad this worked out and you enjoyed it.
      I have tried Turkish coffee once when I lived in San Diego, at least I think that’s what it was 🙂 You too! Thanks. xoxo

      Liked by 1 person

    1. Thanks for taking the time, Bjorn. I appreciate that, especially since it’s your birthday. 🙂 Happy Birthday!! I feel honored. Thanks for your observations. I think you’re right. They’re stuck in a terrible spot and it weighs heavily on all of them.

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  4. My Dad had dementia, so I can relate to this, although our goal was see to his wishes (staying at home till he died). As a kid, we view our parents as immortal. It breaks our hearts to deal with the reality that they’re only human. Great story, Alicia.

    Liked by 1 person

  5. So, clearly, the “Friday” part of Friday Fictioneers is merely suggestive, not to be taken literally.

    That’s a horrible image. I once opened the bathroom door to see my mother-in-law on the throne with her big old lady panties around her ankles. I wanted to gouge my eyes out but I didn’t want that to be the last thing I ever saw.

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    1. Just so you know, I had my story out on Friday afternoon. It was still Friday where I live. 🙂
      But actually, the way Friday Fictioneers works is that the prompt is out on Wednesdays and the link stays active until the following Tuesday, so technically, you have a whole week! It used to be that this group was about 10 people and the goal was to have a story up by Friday, but there’s actually a much bigger window.
      Our bodies don’t last forever. So, I made you uncomfortable? That’s what I was going for. Thanks!

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  6. I’m having such a hard time with the stories this week. I think it’s because I have a cold and my brain isn’t on top of its game at the moment. Your explanation confused me as I was reading the story. I imagined the mother as a spirit or ghost, so I was thrown that she was still alive, although not altogether well. After I read it a few more times, the story became clear. Had I not jumped to conclusions about what “from the mother in the past” meant, it probably wouldn’t have taken me so long.

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    1. Oh, sorry about that. I can see how that explanation is confusing. So much for explaining things. Oh, well. It was a bit experimental. Thanks for your feedback. I hope you feel better, Melanie. 🙂

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  7. It’s rough. Good story, Amy. A good nursing home is easier to find if you can pay a few months fee at first, then the government takes over. If they don’t have Power of Attorney and have spent all her money, good luck. Well done, Amy. —- Suzanne

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    1. Thanks, Gah. I’m glad you could make sense of it. Thanks for the feedback. That’s really what I was hoping to show, the two different viewpoints of the everyday worries alongside the fantasies. Yes, a new layout! Thanks, glad you like it.

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