It’s time for Friday Fictioneers, a weekly writing group challenged to write a 100-word story based on a photo prompt. Thank you to Rochelle Wisoff-Fields for her dedicated leadership and to Erin Leary for this week’s beautiful photo.
All are welcome to participate in the challenge. Please join in. Click this link for instructions.
Genre: Horror (100 words)
Princess of the Lily
Lily pads floated like majestic crowns. The lake was Alice’s special place and a much-needed distraction from Sabrina’s sneering. Circuitous pathways weren’t enough. Sabrina tailed her.
Out from the bushes, Sabrina appeared. She said, “Your mother’s schizophrenic. I heard she’s in a mental hospital.”
“You heard wrong,” Alice said.
Sabrina pulled Alice by her hair, plunging her face into the water.
When she surfaced, Alice gasped. “You just made my mother very angry.”
Vines ripped through the ground, pinning Sabrina’s ankles, and yanking her to the muddy depths.
Alice placed a lily pad on her head and blew a kiss.
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Oooooo creepy and mysterious! I wouldn’t make her angry! Great job
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I wouldn’t either, Laurie. Beware of the lake and Queen of the Lily. Thank you.
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Great stuff! I like it when a bully gets their comeuppance. Good for ghost-mum 🙂 I like Alice’s little finishing touch!
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Thanks, Ali. Me, too. Bullies are pretty despicable. Ghost-mum. I like that! Glad you liked that last bit. That’s my favorite part. 🙂
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that’s terrifying
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Thank you and thanks for reading.
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I love it when a bully gets their comeuppance. It’s my favorite outcome.
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Me too, Mark. It always makes me upset when I see people mistreat others.
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Dear Amy,
I’m guessing that Alice and her mother are one and the same? Actually I’m not all that sure about Sabrina. Intriguing, if not visceral tale. One suggestion. You could easily lose ‘a’ before schizophrenic and be down to an even 100. 😉 Well done.
Shalom,
Rochelle
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Rochelle,
The mother actually is a ghost in the lake. She’s Queen of the Lily! And Sabrina…she’s just a very mean girl. Oh, and I reworked this so many times and never once thought of losing that ‘a.’ Perfect. Thank you. 🙂
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Absolute perfection! This would make a very cool movie theme. I like it when the bully gets hers.
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Oh, you’re always so good to me, Michelle. Thanks so much. Me, too. I have a hard time feeling sorry for bullies. Sabrina messed with the wrong person.
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I’m addicted to pay-back. And a lily pad as a crowning act was perfect. Nicely done Amy. 🙂
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Pay-back is quite gratifying to write. Thanks, Sandra. The little crown is my favorite part. 🙂
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Very well done! Love the “crowning” touch!
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Thanks, Dale. Glad you enjoyed my little “crowning” touch. That one just hit me at the end of writing this. I thought…it needs a little something!
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Amy… good one!
Revenge is sweet… perfect ending. I don’t like bullies!
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Thank you, Tom. Glad you enjoyed it. Me, either!
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Part of me like this end… But I feel a little bit guilty for not feeling an itsy bit sorry for a dead girl.
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I know. I feel guilty, but only a teensy little bit. Well, I suppose that could be why like to write and read about it. 🙂
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Nice! Thanks for a 100 word creep out!
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Anytime, Jim! Thanks for reading.
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You have a style well suited to those 100-word pieces. Economical. Precise. It’s a style that should take you far!
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(Jaysus, Jim! Reading this back to myself it sounds like a “piss off,” like I’m saying 100-word stories are defective or “less than” any other form of story when I meant no such pejorative.)
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Oh, I didn’t get that at all. When I write longer stories, I write a bit differently anyway. This is definitely a specific kind of writing. You got that right!
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Whew! Ha!
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No problem! You should check out some other stories for this prompt! They’re really good.
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Will do!
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I’ve always thought of it like one of those nine-piece tile puzzles, where you slide the tiles around and around until the picture comes into focus.
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It is a little like that, but they don’t always fit so perfectly because of the limited words. There’s the story and then how its told. I am still really challenged by the latter.
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I know and I’m always like, “There’s always a story to tell. Let it fit the frame, and you’ve got any length story you need/want/whatever.”
At least as I believe.
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Me, too! I always believe it will fit if you let it. I’m hopeful, too. 🙂
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Never mess with Alice and her mum. Great, imaginative story, especially with the final touch. I love it, makes you think. I’m slightly appalled by myself for finding mean Sabrina’s death so gratifying.
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Thanks so much the kind words, Gah. I know what you mean. Maybe Sabrina could have been a warning or something? No such luck. Too late for her!
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Great story, Amy. I love how the sentence “You heard wrong” takes on a more ominous tone once you know the whole story. I don’t think Sabrina will be bothering her again after that, at least not near the lake.
-David
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Thanks, David. I’m glad that came across with that sentence. Certainly not since Sabrina is now in the lake. (I hope that was clear). Perhaps, she’s a nice little snack for Alice’s mother.
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Well, I wasn’t sure if she was dead or just dirty, but it was clear that this was a turning point of some sort. 🙂
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Hmm…ok. Thanks. Maybe I should make it more clear? Definitely, a turning point.
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this is as good as it gets. i hate bullies.
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Thanks, Plaridel. She had it coming.
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Sinister and a nice turn of events. Well done!
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Thank you, Erin.
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There’s so much to think about here! I read this more as a fantastical piece, with what happened with the vines. Maybe the lily pads took my mind there right away as well, since I’ve always associated them with fantasy stories. I’m also curious as to what the backstory is with the two girls. Great work as always, Amy! xo
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I can see why you think of it as fantasy. That makes sense. Not to mention, I say she’s a Princess. 🙂 Thanks for the all the kind words and encouragement, Kelly! It means a lot. xoxo
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My pleasure always, Amy! xo
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A fitting end from Mother Nature!
Nice story.
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Thank you!
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So that’s what they mean by plant food!
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Exactly, Stephen. 🙂 Thanks for reading.
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incredible, complex and deep…..Just beautiful and amazing words – please follow and like my new piano page, I appreciate it https://mihranpiano.wordpress.com
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Thanks, Mihran. Of course, I will follow your piano page. I look forward to it.
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Wow…I had to read that twice. You totally caught me off guard!
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Thanks, Dawn! Thanks for taking the time to read it again. 🙂
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That was a great ending. I was totally unprepared for it. Fascinating relationships between the girls, and the fantasy aspect is beautifully introduced. Very good.
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Thanks for the wonderful comment, Margaret. You made me blush. I’m glad you enjoyed my story.
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Really creepy, Amy. I guess the warning here is watch who you pick on. Well done. 🙂 — Suzanne
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Thanks, Suzanne. I’m glad you found it creepy. Exactly. I suppose you never know what people are capable of. 🙂
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What a terrifying tale — eerie and full of horror. I like the sparseness of the dialogue, the sense of the hurt and outrage that Alice felt, the relentless sniping of horrid Sabrina. And that LAKE!
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Wow, thanks! Thanks for all your praise today. It’s much appreciated. I’m glad it all pulled together and made an impression on you. I value your thoughtful comments.
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🙂 My pleasure!
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Do unto others…always a good idea! I enjoyed your story!
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Thank you, Erin. It was a great prompt.
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Loved this! Very creepy 🙂
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Thanks so much, Ken!
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