Guys, It’s Your Turn to Talk

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I want to dedicate this post to Tracy Fulks. It happens to be Tracy’s birthday today. Happy Birthday, Tracy!!! I wanted to write about penis size on your birthday. I want to make you proud. Tracy, I love you. You’re beautiful, inside and out. I hope you like this post in your honor.

Be sure to send some wishes her way!

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After my boobs post, I had a request for a post on penis size from my friend Rich. Per your request, and because you probably didn’t think I’d follow through on this, I will write your post.

Now, my first response to Rich was, “I don’t have a penis, so I am not ‘qualified’ write such a post.” Uh huh. I’m so clever, huh?

Suffice it to say, Rich did not provide any guidelines, nor have I been approached in a Barnes & Noble with penis jokes. I know, imagine that? But I have learned recently this fact from extensive research (on Google), and this is FACT: the average straight man has seen about 3.2 penises in his life. Really?

Then, I thought a little more about it, and thought just maybe, Rich was hoping for a forum in which to discuss penis size. When I blogged about boobies, it was a regular breast fest over here. I delighted in how open we all could be, talking about the issues that large-breasted woman have, and even revealing our bra sizes. Perhaps, this is what you have in mind…Women, we can chime in, or perhaps, just listen. We are good listeners.

I was especially moved by the gentlemen who joined in the boobs discussion to remark how much they like breasts, clearly respectful of them, their form, their function, their beauty, their sensuality…oh…I’m supposed to write about penis size. Where was I?

Yes…I was fascinated by one commenter who suggested that men would never gather in a group to talk about their packages, as the women here on my blog so freely discussed their ta-tas. What do you think, guys? Are you gathering your thoughts right now? Did I hear a pin drop? So, have you seen any good movies lately?

Let’s just look at the evidence before us, shall we? Maybe this will help ease the discussion. Condoms are a one-size-fits-all, right? No? Perhaps, this is the reason for the spray-on condom. Did you ever hear of that one?

What about this case study? Recall the Olympics last summer when U.S. Rower, Henrik Rummel, accepted his bronze on the podium with what everyone assumed was a raging hard on. He was excited about the bronze, as he should be.

Here’s some video on the story.

If you didn’t watch the video, all you need to know is that Henrik denies that it is a boner. He simply states, “I don’t know why it ended up in that position but there you go.” So, this could be a starting off point for your discussion, how the twigs and berries shift. I’m sorry, I know nothing about this.

And now, some trivia. Did you know that back in the day, when the Olympics began in Greece, the competitors were naked? FACT. Now this certainly must have settled any possible confusion about penis size.

Imagine, wrestling.

photo credit: http://www.jockular.com

Or…

photo credit: http://www.jockular.com

Oops! How did this get in here? I meant to take this one out…

But let’s face it, if men ran around naked in the Olympics or otherwise, I’m sure we wouldn’t get any work done. And, of course, civilization would decline swiftly and come to a screeching halt.

Let’s just say that after such a thorough examination, penises come in all different sizes. That said, size doesn’t matter. Not one bit. Honestly, this shouldn’t matter to your partner, and if it does, he/she is not the one for you. This much is true.

Now, discuss away….1-2-3-…Go!

It’s Ms. Bumble’s Birthday

Yes, it’s my birthday. Happy Birthday to me! And, to my fellow Libras as well. We rule, what can we say? We bring harmony, artistry, and beauty to the world. What would you do without us?

I’m 45 today. This is probably the first birthday in my forties that I can proudly admit my age. Although it took me five years, I’m at peace with it now. Sure, I may have a few more wrinkles and my metabolism has definitely slowed (damn!), and I”ll be menopausal soon…let’s go down a different path, shall we?

I’m wiser and I am not afraid to take chances. I am especially grateful for all the beautiful people in my life, including my family, my friends, and my blogging community. I’m a lucky Bumble. Thank you for spending time with me. I love you all!

It would make my day if on my birthday you did something nice for yourself. Take the time to do something special, something you wouldn’t normally do. Take a nap, meditate, get a coffee, call a friend, read a book, take a walk…because the time goes fast. Whatever you do, I hope you have a lovely day.

photo credit: merfam via photopin cc